Question:

Is this essay alright? It's for my college application . Please tell me what you think.?

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

“The Significant Experience that has Helped to

Define Myself as a Person”

Each day is special for me. It isn’t just a routine, which I follow or a habit, which I constantly do. When telling a story, the summary wouldn’t be as compelling as the one with the details, the scenes, the emotion and the thoughts. This is why my life is a billion-paged incomplete novel and I narrate it to myself. Literally.

The most significant moment in my life is the day I decided to write. . . forever. It started when we were told to make a book report about the novel “Anne of Green Gables.”Once while I was alone in my room, I stumbled upon the chapter that changed my life—Chapter 20. It was about how Anne imagined the woods were haunted, full of ghosts and corpses. Between each terrifying sentence, I looked around. Then, I began surrounding myself with pillows thinking that if there was ghost in my room, it could not penetrate my little fort. After reading, I closed the book and smiled. I decided to be like L.M. Montgomery—a writer whose works make readers feel, think and love.

My dream is the root of who I am today. I became fond of observing others, not as a critique but as an artist; even the tiniest things— the sound of water, the gestures of people, a bus ride, a walk downstairs—became significant to me. Thru this, I have assessed myself, understood who I was and came searching for my purpose in life. Though, the effects weren’t all what I wanted—my eyes were opened because I explored too much. Realizing that the real world wasn’t a fairy tale, I wanted to be innocent again, but, I reckon, it isn’t going to happen.

Because my dream has led me to this cruel truth, I want to help change it. Everyone has a purpose in life; it wasn’t only assigned to people who are powerful. Some just need to look for it. I have found mine and now, my aim has moved from merely surviving to helping and making people happy, to change the world.

 Tags:

   Report

2 ANSWERS


  1. It's a good foundation.  

    In all honesty, ditch the first paragraph, entirely.  Also, the last sentence sound a little too "pagent-y."  Sure, you want to change the world and make people happy, but I'd omit the last sentence and give a more concrete summary of HOW you'd like to do that.

    I'd also run a spell/grammar check on that.  There's a few errors.


  2. Fine essay. Won't be a problem. Add more formality to it.

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 2 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.
Unanswered Questions