Is this fair at all? I don't see how it could be...

Question

Alright, so, i'm sixteen years old and I got into a fight with my mom this morning over her laptop. She accused me and my friend of s******g everything up, when all I used it for was to talk to a relative over yahoo messenger, which she already has installed. She asked what we did to it, I said I was the only one on it. I offered to fix it and turned it toward me.

So she jerks it away from me to face her and calls me a little f***er and tells me to back off. Still a bit calm, having dealt with this for about four years now, I told her that she can fix it herself then if she won't let me help. So then she follows up by saying ''f*** you'' and ''get out of my house''.

So my exact words were ''all I was trying to do was help you so s***w it now''. I walked upstairs, ending the confrontation before it escalated any further. So then, not much to my surprise, I hear some slams downstairs. Me and my friend, on our way out of the house, ((because I didn't want to be anywhere near her at the time)) saw the laptop face down, having been thrown around quite a bit.

So my father texts me a few hours ago, saying i'm losing my computer because I made my mom lose hers. He's blaming me for her throwing her computer across the room several times, which, in turn, broke it.

Does this sound fair to you, at all?

Answer 1

You are going to have to spell it out to your dad that your mother threw the thing up against the wall. If he gets another one for her, it will happen again because she is irrational and ignorant.

You will have to ask for your own laptop again later on (hopefully for Christmas) and keep it away from your mom. Consider getting a part-time job of some sort to earn money towards one. You may even be able to pick up a laptop at a pawn shop.

Make it a policy to only use your own equipment from now on.

<< Actually I would be very tempted to stow my own laptop somewhere so it wouldn't get found or taken from me... and claim that Mom had already taken it away. Danged if you do and danged if you don't. Better to have it stowed at a friend's house or in an attic crawlspace than for it to be destroyed. >>

Answer 2

as you were aware that your mother is like this just why in the world did you touch her lap top.

You get high marks for not using your head and in the future stay away from her stuff

Answer 3

Not only isn't it fair, it's insane. Your mother is completely out of control. She shouldn't be calling you foul names. And if she throws her laptop around, she is completely crazy. Your father is just as bad, since he sides with her instead of protecting his 16 year old from this insanity.

Stay away from her, from her things, and from the house as often as you can. Don't engage her, fly under the radar. There is no dealing with this level of impairment. I am very sorry.

Answer 4

Honeslty it sounds like your mother was unfair and looking for a scapegoat. The worste part is you took the bait. If you have a potentially explosive mom maybe you should stick to your own computer. My advice is dont fight it cause you can never win. Instead you can win by always agreeing politely. My step mother always acused me of ruiningthe computer with aim. People who throw fits like that are people that have no understanding, and no control and are desperately trying to gain both by yelling.Just go with the flow... its easier.

Answer 5

No, it certainly is not fair, but, I guess whilst you still live in their house you have to put up with it.

Talking rationally with your parents is pointless, I learnt long ago, they see you as a little kid, who is theirs, so they can tell you to do what they want, even if it is irrational.

What worries me is that, I take it, you need your computer for your school work?  If they take it away you cannot compete equally at school.  If this happens, is there a Child Protection Agency you can go to?

Answer 6

not at all

Answer 7

Your mother has a problem and instead of your father trying to help her he gives into her because it is easier.

They both did you wrong.  However you should have not argued with you mother.  It take two people to argue.  You did not break her computer so you had nothing to defend.  You could have just told her "mom I didn't break it I just sent an email to a relative but I will help you fix it".   When she started arguing, just keep quite and when she has finished shouting, say calmly "would you like for me to help you fix it"?

When someone is hyper like your mother, you can't argue with them if you do  "you loose".

Since you had your own computer why were you using your mother's anyway?  You should never use anyone else's equipment of any kind without first getting permission to do so.  If you had just used your own computer, this incident would not have happened.

Good luck hope you get your computer back.