Is this fair? im really upset.?

Question

my boyfriend of two years has failed his first year exams in college.

he said to me last night if that happens he doesnt know if its possible for us to stay together if that happens because he doesnt know what will be happening with his life. i dont think its fair as i'd do anything and have just supported him. what am i meant to do? i dont want to lose him

Answer 1

Thats really not fair, maybe hes thinking that without you he will keep his attention on school work.

But thats not true, tell him that if he thinks that why dnt u just see each other on weekends> so he can concentrate on his school work during the week.

Its not your fault he failed.

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Answer 2

He obviously thinks very little of you. Dump him, I would.

Answer 3

Fair is foul and foul is fair.

Answer 4

Sounds like emotional abuse to me honey.  He has failed his exams and is naturally disappointed.  He wants to vent his disappointment on someone and that someone is you.  He's put the skids under you about your future relationship thus making you his emotional punchbag.  He feels better by making you feel bad.  It may be totally unconscious on his part - but have a little serious think to yourself.  Is he going to grow out of this behaviour or is it a pointer to what he's going to be like in the future? Has he done something like this before when he's been disappointed?  If so, you aren't going to change him.  Accepting this treatment from him now just tells him he can do it to you in the future whenever he wishes and you'll just roll over.  You don't have to be physical to hurt someone deeply, you know that.  If I were you I'd agree with him and tell him you don't want to be a burden to him in his future life so the best thing would be for you to part company so that he can get on with his life without having to worry about you. Then cut all connections with him.  I think what'll happen is that he'll come scurrying back to you as fast as his little legs will carry him because he's the weak one in this relationship.  It's up to you whether you give him a second chance.  Remember, he's a weak man and is that what you really want?

Answer 5

Tell him that lots of people fail, and tell him to become a salesman, they make tons of money.

Answer 6

He probably doesn't want to have to depend on you, and thinks it's unfair for you to do so.

Tell him you love him and you will support him through anything, and your not taking no for an answer. He will learn to appreciate the woman you are and how much he means to you.

hope this helps

Answer 7

its not fair, but maybe he just needs some space to sort him self out.

It might be hard to do that when he still has to think about you to, that might be to much. Ask him if that's what he needs and be understanding. I'm sure he loves you, hes just having a hard time.

Answer 8

he cant blame failing his exams on you, it seems he just doesnt want to take the responsibility of failing himself so hes lashing out at the closest thing to him.

Plenty of people study and date!!! That excuse just doesnt fly with me.

you cant force him to be with you, but if he doesnt want to be then you cant really do anything to change that except maybe talk to him about how you feel hes making a stupid call

xx