Is this fair on my son?..........?

Question

My husband inherited his business of his uncle who inherited it off of his uncle and so on.

But my husband doesn't want to pass it on to his nephew as he says he has a perfectly able son, and the only reason it was passed down to nephews, was simply because they did not "approve" of their own sons.

I do not want this for Finn. I want him to be able to choose his won career, and do what he wants to do. I have told my husband, but he disagrees, he always says "who would turn down a ready-made life of luxury?". Answer-i would. I have worked my butt off to get where i've got in life, and i want my children to experience life, and not have one ready-made. Finn has always said he wants to write, and look after animals. I have spoken to Finn about this and he is "very sure" that he doesn't want to carry on his Dad's business.

My husbands family is quite strict with their traditions, and always joke about disowning my son if he doesn't carry on the business that his "ancestors have worked so hard to build up".

Am i right to not want this for my son??

If it is what my son wants then i would encourage him, but it's not, and he is not a business man in the making. But my husband is adamant that this is what Finn is doing.

Answer 1

the son should be the one to pick wat he wants to do in the future and which career he wants not the dad or the mum you should sit the son with you and your husband to talk about it, and the child should choose if he wants his dads job or his hard earned, your sons choice should be counted first as its his life not your husbands or yours!

Answer 2

It isn't unfair on your son, they are trying to be kind. However, if you want to raise a man with a mind of his own you must be there in the background reminding him that he has choices, encourage him in whatever field interests him but also make him aware that there is a business to be run if he so chooses. You may think inheriting a business is a ready made cushy option but I assure you it isn't. He will have to learn all about the field he is going into, people skills, etc if he is to keep it running successfully. Don't prejudice him because it's not what you want for him but make sure he knows you and his father will alswys be there for him what ever he chooses for a career.

Answer 3

You are fair to not want this for your son, its perfectly reasonable.

If he doesn't want to do it, then he shouldn't. He won't.

Its not up to either of you, none of ou should influence him and he should do what he wants. Encourage him to "do what he wants".

not to "DONT do the business" just tell him he needs to do what he wants.

I'm sure your husbands family will live.

And hey, he can take the business on, but he doesnt have to work there! Hire a manager, and soak up the profits. haha.

Answer 4

you are being fair

Answer 5

well since this isn't what Finn wants you and your husband have to respect this. does he really believe that he will disown his son for turning down the family business? if he truly would do this then he does not deserve to have a son at all . . .  

Answer 6

Just wait until your kid is18 or old enough to know what he wants to do, kids want to be lots of things but usually they change their minds, but if he's old enough to decide not to want to do this then your husband and his family will have to accept it, they can't force him into a life he doesn't want.

and for the disowning thing wow nice family your husband has. Tell your husband if they ever say that again he has to put them in there place. Good Luck