A guy is late for work so he's racing trying to get there. While crossing over a bridge doing eighty a cop catches him on radar and pulls him over.
The guy says, "Give me a break, I'm on my way to work, and I'm late."
The cop says, "What do you do for a living?"
The guy says, "I'm a r*ctum stretcher."
The cop says. "A r*ctum stretcher? What does a r*ctum stretcher do?"
The guy says, "Well I stretch r*ctums".
The cop asks "Well how do ya do that"?
The guy replies "Well first I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, then a whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull their r*ctum farther and farther, until it's a full six feet across."
The cop says, "What the h**l do you do with a six foot a*shole?"
The guy then replies, "Give him a radar gun and stick him at the end of a bridge."
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