Is this good etiquette for a wedding invitation?.....

Question

I received a wedding invitation in the mail and in the invitation was a message on the bottom that said "We gladly accept gift certifiates from the following stores......"

Then there was a list of about 5 stores. I found this to be pretty gutsy and rude especially since this couple have been living together for a long time and they both have been married before (not to each other).

Be honest if you think I am being too anal. Usually, I am very easy going. I just found this rude and while sure it would be practical to have gift cards, I wouldn't have the nerve to ask for them! Maybe thats just me.

Answer 1

Extremely tacky and rude!  I would really have to think about attending that wedding unless these were relatives or very close friends.  I love the idea of giving them a Miss Manners Etiqutte book as a gift if you do decide to go, maybe even if you don't:)

Answer 2

Not only does it take a bit of chutzpah to make your wedding present request on the invitation, but the wording...they will "gladly accept" cards from those stores??! Well, thank goodness they will at least accept those gifts. I wonder if you get them a gift card from elsewhere, will they unhappily reject it?

Answer 3

I don't think you're being anal at all.  If it was a first marriage for both of them, I might think they weren't too sophisticated.  Although I wouldn't say your friends were rude, they are definitely tacky.

Answer 4

Maybe they have most of what they need, and they are trying to find a way to say if you want to give them a gift, give them a gift card, not a toaster.  If it is at an expensive store, just give whatever you feel comfortable putting on a gift card.

Answer 5

OH, WOW!   That is nervy and gutsy.  A wedding invitation is NOT an invoice.  Shame on them.

Answer 6

Despite Miss Manners, I think this is okay.  We married in the days before wedding lists and got, among other things, eight tablecloths.  Much more sensible if you want to get a gift to know that it is something which will be welcome.

Answer 7

Miss Manners says that mannerly people do not expect to receive gifts, much less to tell prospective givers what sort of gifts are desired. (Remember, etiquette is about what we actually DO, not what we think. OF COURSE brides will get wedding presents but they must ACT as if they haven't given the possibility a thought.)

All that is REQUIRED is that you (1) promptly respond to the invitation and (2) send a handwritten letter of congratulations. If you accept the invitation then you must thank the hosts for the nice party. You do this by sending a handwritten letter or note. If you are VERY grateful then you can send a gift with the note or substitute a gift for the note.

If you want to be really snotty then gift the people with one of Miss Manners' fine books on wedding etiquette.

Answer 8

Okay, I can understand why they don't want to end up with six toasters and four silver plated serving sets, but you are right, this is a bit over the top.  Registering at a specific store or more than one gives the couple a chance to make a list of what they would like to receive.  Asking specifically for financial donations in the form of a gift certificate, shares no real information about what the couple needs.  

Classy Announcements(http://www.classyannouncements.com/askin...  a wedding site says, "It is considered bad manners for the bride and groom to mention anything in writing, such as placing a note in their invitations, indicating that they want monetary gifts, or where they are registered. It is presumptuous of the couple to tell guests what they expect or to imply that a gift is expected at all! Remember, this is not about the gifts or the money, this is a party celebrating your love and union, not a gift grab. If you get something you don't want, too bad (it should only be the worst problem you ever have!). It is up to the guests to do what they want. Many guests, of course, want to know what would please the couple most, but ultimately every gift is voluntary, let alone size and type of gift."

Buy something you can afford that you think they will enjoy.

Answer 9

That is really vulgar what your friends is asking. In fact if I was in your shoes depending how well you know this couple I would reply back and say "I can't make it to the wedding"

I find it amazing that they have the nerves to ask people this.