Question:

Is this good??? please tell me....?

by  |  earlier

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i love writting poems but im not really good....

this is my first poem.....

i look in the mirror

i see this girl

shes awfuly stuck in this harable world

shes happy and shes sad , shes also awfully mad

she cant stand this life

its just too hard to stand

i think a little bit and see that girl is me...

stuck in this really mad contrey

NO,i dont hate this place

its just a madder of time in space

even thow i dont know what that means

i just wanna tell you aboute my life

that is really neet

i know it sucks but remmember its my first one ever.... so tell me how bad it is... or if its good please tell me...

say the truth ... even if its horable....

thnx

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4 ANSWERS


  1. Here's how I see your poem; though, the last line really throws me.   It seems a bit unfocused, though perhaps that is part of the (pre?)teen experience that this poem is expressing.  (The spell checker is your friend.  And dictionaries are nice, too!)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~...

    I look in the mirror, I see this girl

    She's awfully stuck in this horrible world.

    She's happy, she's sad, she's awfully mad

    She can't stand this life.

    (It's just too hard to stand.)

    I think a little bit and see that she's me,

    Stuck in this really mad country

    No, I don't hate this place,

    It's just a matter of time and space.

    (even though I don't know what that means!)

    I just want to tell you about my life

    that's really neat!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~...


  2. IT IS AWFUL!    NO FOR REAL IT'S PRETTY DECENT,  AND QUITE IMAGINATIVE YOUR ON THE ROAD TO MASTERY POETRY.  from a published poet.

  3. love the thoughts...but use spell check..would make it more fluid

    were you don't have to stop and figure what your trying to say...other than that it's a fine poem.....oh and a title

  4. .

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