Is this good poetry? easy 10 points people. what do you think?

Question

daniel,

your eyes,

your smile,

your voice holds the key to my heart.

your right daniel, theres an art to holding hands

as long as its my hand your holding

i could bring the best out of you

im not a preppy girl, but boy, im the geeky one too.

you write for them daniel.

why do you write for the girls who wont look your way.

you sure showed them boy?

but daniel, i'll show you, i'll be the girl you want to kiss goodnight

my voice won't match the beat of the angels you speak of,

but it can match the beat of your heart, i swear daniel.

i swear daniel. don't fall for them daniel.

Answer 1

You say his name like you're his mother scolding him, not like you're his admirer. The whole poem needs to be relaxed, you know what I mean? Unless, that it, you were trying to sound like his mom scolding him...

Answer 2

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 3

I was a little confused at who you were talking too.. but besides that it was ok. 6/10

Answer 4

It doesn't rhyme and the grammar is a bit off. Spruce it up a bit, it's worth it.

I'm also guessing it's about unrequited love. It sounds like loving a best friend because she knows personal details about this Daniel. Like how he writes about other girls, how he speaks of angels and how he thinks holding hands has an art.

Answer 5

It's obvious that the person writing this is head-over-heals for a boy named Daniel, but that he does not have the same feelings in return. Though some of the lines should be repositioned and they should take out some of the "Daniel"'s, as their reader knows by the first line who they are speaking of. It is also not very clear whether the person writing this is male or female, which doesn't have a whole lot to do with it, but will let someone see a little bit more into the soul of he writer and be able to actually fell their pain. The more a reader can feel what the writer is saying the more it becomes personal and more appreciated. Hope that this helps.

Answer 6

aww, that's so cute!!! somebody's got talent ;)

and i think the poem is about someone who is in love with daniel but daniel either doesnt notice or doesnt realize that there is someone who truly loves him....

Answer 7

You say the person's name way too many times, and at points, it is trite. The first four lines are trite, and there is a typo in the second line (you're). I am also confused at why there is a question mark after boy. I also think the swares are a little redundant as well. But take my word. I am a writer, but not of poetry.