Is this guy just looking to hook up?

Question

We have always had a very flirty relationship, but nothing more. But last night we talked for 6 hours, and it was great. As usual we were both being flirty but still talked about interesting things.

I told him about a guy that tried to use me to hook up. He sort of hesitated and I asked him if thats what he is trying to do. He said "well, honestly, I guess so". He doesn't have a reputation for using girls or anything though.

But he also said that anything I'm uncomfortable with I don't have to do and it is up to me completely. He also said that he would never ever hurt me and if I just want to be friends, thats OK too. Either way he said he still wants to hang out this Friday, and as he saw it, just as friends.

But I don't want to be just friends, but I also don't want to just hook up and forget about him either. He said he liked me too. So what's the deal here?

Answer 1

He answered the question you are asking.

ALL guys talk like this. All young guys want to hook up, they are not looking to get into a serious relationship yet.

Answer 2

You asked him and he said "yes" -- who are we to second-guess him?  At least he came out and told you the truth, straight up.  Now you can decide what you want to do with it.  

HINT:  Don't get all delusional and think that, if he hangs out with you long enough, you are going to change his mind and turn him into a boyfriend.   He flat out told you -- "if you're unconfortable with anything, we won't do it" -- he's hoping that he can get you going and you won't want to stop, or else you'll fool youself into thinking that it's something that it isn't and "hook up".  

Be smart.

Answer 3

you should telll him that you want a serious relationshipp.

alot of my guy friends are like that, hes "looking" for a hookup, but is he willing to be in a relationship ? maybe he just wants a hookup now becasue its summer, ask him if he wants one later tooo.

i would hangout with him friday thenn the next time you talk/hangout telll him that. when you guys hangout if you decide to hookup, let him do some stuff, but know where to draw the line when your uncomfortablee.

i hopee everything workss outt !

Answer 4

I think You both need to talk about what your definitions of "hook-up" means...

I think he means long term and you think it means, in your own words "and forget about him".

If he said all that stuff, he meant he hopes you want more than friends, as in the next step, as in bf &gf.

Just talk, and good luck.

Answer 5

He straight up told you that he was using you for a hook up, I don't see how it could be anymore clear...

Answer 6

He is buttering you up and get ready to use you... It doesn't seem like he wants a relationship.... talk to him about it more... GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

He sort of hesitated and I asked him if thats what he is trying to do. He said "well, honestly, I guess so".

uhhm idk about everyone else on here but i think that'd be a yes.....

he straight up told you he was trying to hook up with you.

Answer 8

So what do you want? How old are and how old is he? You told us that you spent 6 hours talking and you were flirity.  I'm lost on using girls, what the h**l does that mean? If couples have a few dates nothing serious and then move on is that considered using? Are you looking for a serious relationship?

Answer 9

My best bet is that the guy is into you but is one of those who can't exactly say what they are thinking. He is looking for your input as much as he would like to come out in the open.

Most guys like this tend to be afraid of rejection. And if he is a particularly good looking one, it would be because the rejection would hurt his ego more than it would pain the heart. Being where you are right now, having both admitted that you "liked" each other means that it makes things easier on his part. If it were me, i'd have a serious talk with him about the relationship and find out where he would like to be headed. Mind you, i'm not  sure how long you have known the guy even though it is encouraging to know that he is not known for a womanizer. I'd also take things one step at a time, don't take anything off for him just yet. Wait until you are sure he's the one before letting him "write on your book". You will be doing the right thing plus it will earn you points as he won't think of you as a push over.

Having a talk always helps. Cut out the flirting for a bit and seriously sit down and talk.