Is this how a cousin should act?

Question

I'm 17, female...a few years ago I moved to a larger city where my Aunt and cousin live. I'd visited my cousin on lots of trips before when I was younger, but we hadn't had any contact since then, apart from the occasional e-mail. I was really looking forward to becoming close with her, she's 19 and in University....but since I've moved here, I always find myself suggesting that we meet up and do something. She usually replies to my texts with 'sure! sounds great.' and she sounds enthusiastic...but when we meet up, I feel like she's a bit distant. Even though she's friendly, she doesn't act like a cousin "should". I feel like I'm making all the effort to see her, and she's not really interested.

Is this normal? I don't try and see her all the time...it's only a couple times a month or so that I summon the courage to actually ask her if she wants to hang out. Should I just forget about it? I feel that because we're living in the same city, and we're cousins, we should hang out every now and again. I like her, but I feel like I'm making a fool out of myself by contacting her?

Answer 1

You are not doing anything wring by contacting her, and I'm sure she is not trying to brush you off. Even though you are close in age, she is at a different point in her life right now. If she is going to college, she is very busy. I know she cares about you and wants to spend time with you, but she is probably thinking about a lot of other things when you get together, but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and not spend any time with you at all. Maybe it would be a good idea to kind of let things "go with the flow" over the next year or so, until you are both at the same point in your lives....I'm sorry you seem to have gotten your feelings hurt. I wouldn't take it personally though; your cousin just has a lot on her plate right now. Maybe try to keep in touch with regular emails for awhile....hope it all works out for you...hang in there

Answer 2

Since you had e-mail contacts and ur cousin is not responding to the way which you are expecting and now that you are in the same city, it is high time you put it straight to her.  Maybe there is some misunderstanding, little bit of ego problem.  But everything can be sorted out when you people talk openly.  Fix up an appointment at a hangout  she like and talk it out with her.  The mist will be moved and you will have a good time. Wish you all the best.

Regards

Suresh