Is this immature?

Question

(this is Zippo's sister, i have a question)

So im 13, and there are these REALLY cute necessity tote bags from classic equine. they have cool colors but the cutest one is the polka dot one. however im tempted not to get it because a 16 year old at my barn who is friends with pretty much all the girls at my barn. well three of them anyway. She said that she'd be mad if i got the polka dot one because she has the matching bell boots.

I want the polka dot one however my barn is you make a mistake, everyone hates you. I like the turquoise one but the light colors will make it dirty. She said she'd hate me if i got that one...

I want the polka dot one - what should i say to her to stand up? Im sick of everyone thinking they can walk all over me. she said on friday "i need your hackamore tuesday" she didnt even ask. she gets stuff out of my grooming kit and now some of my things are missing.

what should i say? I board at a different barn than my parents at the moment. because...

Answer 1

FIRST OF ALL, put a lock on your tack box! That'll fix her stealing stuff from you.

Second, she's walking on you because you're allowing it to happen. If you lock your stuff and do what you want (like get that polka dot tote) this will show her that you DON'T CARE what she thinks as you have your own life and can make your own decisions. She'll get angry at first, but just ignore her. You know that you're a good person and if people discount you for buying a duplicate tote, do you really care what they think of you anyway? Do your own thing, you will be a stronger person for it and soon people will want to be like you.

;)    Good luck girly.

Answer 2

o the teenage drama. buy the bag. SO WAT IF EVRY1 HATES U 4 BUYING A BAG?!?! thats stupid and immature, and if they do they were nevr really ur friends. (god i really shouldnt b calling other ppl immature im really the 1 2 talk lol :)) after awile theyll 4get about it anyway

Answer 3

Oh to be 13 again,... or maybe not.

Hun, listen.  Ignore her.  There is always a spoiled brat in a barn.  32 years ago when I was your age.. there was one then too. Who got the pushbutton pony.  Thought he deserved everything for being better then everyone ect..

Just realize she is a brat even at 16 and ignore her

Also.. Get your folks to take to to walmart.   Get a BRIGHT permanent marker and mark all your stuff clearly.  Also have them get you a plastic tub that can be LOCKED.  they sell them in the automotive section.  Lock your stuff up and tell her to stay out of your things, Stealing is wrong no matter who she thinks she is.  When she comes and demands things say NO.  and tell her that some things have gone missing and you cant afford to supply the whole barn.

Good luck, and dont sweat the opinions of the " in crowd"  usually they are the ones lacking the self esteame to stand up alone.

Answer 4

Tell her to Shut the h**l up and stop ruling my life

call her a drama queen bahaha

anyways good luck

Answer 5

That is very immature of her. In your email, stand up to her. Tell her everything that has been bothering you about her, and that your getting that polk-a-dot tote bag.

Its your decision, not hers. She has no control over what you do. So just stand up to her, and she should stop. If that doesn't work, tell an adult about your problem.

Best of luck! I hope everything goes well!

Answer 6

Hi, Frist of all good luck!!

I would buy it if you want to you are never going to get any where in life not standing up for your self and letting people treat you like c**p Sometimes it better to make your self happy other them tip toe around everyone and make them happy . my mum has always been like you she trys to please everyone . I get upset with her and tell her se needs to do what's best for her . So Next Time she goes to take something say I have had some grooming stuff stolen and I am sick of people taking my gear and not returning it so I and baning everyone from taking anything from now on .. and You do not even have to tell her about you buying the pock adot  one because it up to you which one you buy she is not the Boss of you so if you want to use it in front of her do so don't worry if she get angry at you she is the one being bossy and she the one being a rude person by telling you what you can and can't by. Use it in front of her if you want to . Good luck cheers

ALSO: DONT WORRY ABOUT E-MAILING HER IT IS NONE OF HER IDEA WHAT YOU BUY AND DONT BUY =]

Answer 7

u can say that it was a present & whoever gave it 2 u thought that was the cutest 1... or u could say that it wasnt ur first choice & it would be rude 2 ask the person who gave u the tote 2 get a different 1... as far as her taking ur stuff: u should lock ur locker (if u hav 1) or if u dont hav a locker u can get a tackbox with a lock... dont give ur combo 2 ne1 or else she probably will find out what it is... if this continues u can talk 2 her personally or you can send her an email/ letter telling her that u dont mean 2 hurt her feelings & still want 2 b her friend but set the rules down... say u dont appreciate her taking ur stuff that u paid good money for & tell her that she needs 2 start asking u 2 borrow ur stuff & if u dont want her 2 just say dont take this in a bad way but i dont want 2 waste it or i need 2 preserve it...

good luck solving ur problem... if it gets worse tell ur trainer or ur parents that shes stepping all ovr u & ur sick of it

Answer 8

Get the bag anyway! She is not the boss of you. She needs to know that you aren't going to listen her and she can't tell you what to do.

You might want to put a lock on you box, I have a lock on my box and it keeps the girls from taking anything.

On your e-mail, tell her she is not going to tell you what to do and to stop taking your stuff, you don't want to go out buy new stuff because someone else used the old one. Also tell your parents, they can talk to your trainer and maybe they can do something. Also try to speak to her parents, They might be able to stop her from taking your stuff. Oh, and if she has her own horse, she should be able to afford her own stuff. Let her know that you are done with her messing around with you.

P.S. I am 13 too and hate it when people take charge of what I do. Don't let her get to you. If you show her you aren't going to let her win, she has to stop sometime.

Answer 9

write your name on all your groom kit with permanent markers.

Just walk straight up to her next time you see her and say 'look I just bought those boots that you also liked - I love them.' and walk away before she can respond.

Tell the others girls that you quite like so and so for x reasons, then admit that she is almost bullying you though and ask if they will support you a little, suggest they could tell her not to be so rude to you.

Best of luck, I wouldn't email her, that can just get nasty. Can you ask you coach to have some fun days/rallies, where you all play games. This may take the competitive  force out of the group and allow you all to become friends again.

Answer 10

i think you should stand up to her face to face and leet everone know that you are not a little ol weeble thing.... if you want something, then get it!

you should talk about this with the owner of the barn if it is not your trainer.

tell her: "if you think i'm so stupid and incompetent, then why must you always rely on me for you and your horse's well being? if you think that me and my stuff is cheap, then why use it on your horse? you might get cooties from it! buy it yourself if you want it so badly!" when she says that she's gonna use your stuff say "that's nice to know, congratulations, but i don't really care that you want to use it." and walk off. if at your barn everyone has their separate tack rooms/ cabinents/ things to keep your tack in then keep it locked. if you can't do that, than i know it's a hassle, but take it home or leave it somewhere where she can't get access to it. if she starts complaining, tell her that she needs to stop being rude and reliable on someone she hates (i assume she hates/ dislikes you.)

when you have the chance/s, use her stuff too. shen she asks you what the heck you are doing just say "it must be alright if you borrow my stuff too, cuz that's what friends do- they share each other's stuff!" then she'll probably say that you're not friends, and then you should say "well then, i guess then that you stop using my stuff, and i'll stop using yours. then we're both happy!" and get on with what you're doing, after you toss whatever you're using back to her!

when she asks you to give her your stuff or if she's trying to control you, stare her in the eyes and say "last time i checked, you're not my mother" and calmly walk away.

try not to really diss her and shoot demeaning remarks at her because that will make you just as bad as she is.

if she and her "friends" already hate you, then don't worry about them hating you more because you bought a tote that matches her bell boots.

if you need any more help/ advice, you are free to email me at [e-mail]

Answer 11

Rubbermaid makes a large tack trunk that you can lock.

Get one an a padlock and put all your grooming supplys in it.

Your problems of others using your stuff is solved.

That is what we did when I boarded at a large barn.

If you did not lock up your stuff everyone would use it and then when you needed something it was gone.

As for you getting the bag pick the one you like best and get it.

Why should you care what she says or does. I know it can be hard but in the grand scheme of things hse does not make any difference and what she thinks in not important.

Do what makes you happy as long as you are not hurting others and let everyone think what ever they want. The ones who are your friends will be and the ones who are listening to her well who cares what they think.

I am so glad I have lived through being a teenager. It can be a miserable time in life but things really do get better.

Be the best person you can be and do right by yourself and let everyone else worry about how they act.

Hang in there things weill get better. Horse people can be a snotty bunch at times.

Answer 12

I find that my mom and I have been through the same problem as you. Get what ever you want, hun! This is your life not hers! Just stick up to her! Say "This is my tack, my stuff, my wants and needs, and there is nothing you can do or say to make me change it. I know you stole my stuff and I want it back!" And if you are worried about her combacks, think of things she could possibly say, and think of another good comback to that! The number one thing to do right now is get a good, thick, heavy lock. Pay the extra money so that she can't open it or try and guess your password. Garunteed, she will get so mad she can't open your lock to use your stuff she will stop asking you. And if you see her after that, avoid her and ignore her.

Another thing you can say is if she says she is using your stuff just say "Ok then your saddle will be used Tuesday" Come back right at her. Give her a taste of her own medicine. She won't know what to say back she will just have to leave.

Good luck with this and number one thing is to buy a lock and a secure container. Don't be afraid to stand up to her and be assertive. If you need any more help please send me a message.

-HJB

Answer 13

Get what you want for your horse. Those girls at the barn are not going to use it, you are.  Its for your horse not theirs.  Stand up for yourself and she will get off your back.

Answer 14

YES this is immature, she needs to get her head out of her a** and stop being a b****. This is the stupidest thing, dont let her boss you around. If you really want it, then go for it get it. SHOW HER WHO'S BOSS! stick up for your self. if you have other friends at the stable then who cares. She knows that people will listen to her and do what she says(as she is popular??) but you need to show her that it is your grooming supplies, and you can get anything you like EVEN if she has it or doesnt want you to get it. Good luck, sorry but it annoyes me when people do that. hope i have helped abit lol xoxo good luck once again.

Answer 15

Your best bet is to ignore her, and get the bag anyway.

You like it, and it shouldn't matter what she says about it-get it. Who cares. If she can't handle it, then she can just go buy her pony new bell boots! I agree it is immature of her.

Answer 16

You know I find too many young people in the equine world are so much like this and I cant STAND it!!! (From my UK experience anyway)

Unfortunately the majority are teenage girls and yes, its revolved around jealousy, big headedness, others thinking they are better than you etc.

If this girl is like this towards you, then there must be others at the same barn too feeling this way about her. She is a bully.

Have you got any close friends at the same barn too who have felt this way about her aswell? If so, join up and form a complaint to the barn owner. Any barn owner would never want this kind of behaviour at their own barn. I know I wouldnt.

As for the girl, you have to be assertive when it comes to your personal belongings. Lock them somewhere where they cant be accessed if possible. Tell the barn owner you have stuff missing. The more people you get together to form this complaint the better.

Good Luck.

In the meantime, be normal to this girl, dont lower yourself to her level!