Is this just a newlywed thing?

Question

We have been married for about a month now and wanted to share something. This past Sunday, my wife and I briefly talked about seeing the new Batman movie. A few hours later, she said "so you just wanna skip the movie and do it another time?" I said "sure" while under the impression that she wanted to bag the idea too. Well she got real moody and I asked what the matter was and she insisted that there was nothing wrong. About 10 minutes later, she grabs her purse and starts walking out the door. Well turns out she was going to go see the movie by herself..I felt tricked here..Like she wanted to go by herself but never told me she wanted to go when I said we could go another time. So she left and at this point i'm really pissy. Well she calls me asking if she should get a ticket so I said ok and when I got there, she acted like nothing happened (which is what she does from time to time in circumstances like that) Should I have not gone and let her be? This conflict still just confuses me. We did talk about it but she does not like to talk about things when I confront her about it. So it was basically dropped. Just wanted to share and see if anyone has any input.

Answer 1

This isn't a newlywed thing.  This is an immature woman thing.  Get her the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlesinger.  She will probably be offended, but she might actually get something out of it.  You can also get "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" for both of you to read.  Life's too short to play such childish games.  Good luck!

Answer 2

That woman is actually your wife? If this is the 1st month...I can only imagine what the rest of your life is going to be like...have fun man. Glad its you, and not me.

Answer 3

Not a newlywed thing. A you married a crazy, game playing girl who won't communicate with you thing.  

Answer 4

Dude, she's a psycho.  Dump her now while you can still get an annulment.  I've seen something like this once before and it didn't end pretty.  The only conceivable reason for keeping her is if she will do disgusting things for you in the bedroom.

Answer 5

This reminds me of when I was a newlywed; my wife was mad at me when I got home from work, really mad.  I asked her what was wrong and she simply said, "Well!!!! If you don't know I'm certainly not going to tell you!!!".  Welcome to married life and interrelating with those of the opposite s*x.  Even if you win you will be wrong so just drop it and move on.  There is a reason why women never forget and men never remember; it doesn't do us any good to remember as whatever we remember will be wrong and we will catch absolute h**l for it at some time.  Better to be a deaf, dumb mute.  

Answer 6

She needs your attention trust me im a woman.

Answer 7

She sounds rather young.  I bet she was hoping that you said no I want to go to the movies but instead you said the opposite.  You cannot read her mind and if she is young she probably thinks you should lol.  Maybe she wants you to be more confrontational.  That is just weird.

Answer 8

Mike, you said or did something that gave her the impression you didn't want to go.  That's missing from this question, but it's likely the missing "link".

Answer 9

She wanted you to want to go with her. You have to have some drive to spend time with her and not make her always come up with the ideas on how you are going to do it.  

Answer 10

Sounds like a mind game to me....Grrrrrrrrr!!  Wish people could say what the mean...and mean what they say...and not expect people to read their mind and do what they want them to do...without communicating their wants and desires....suggest that she learn the art of communication....

Answer 11

she seems so immature!!!  if she's gonna act like a brat, i dunno how you'll be able to handle a few years down the road...

gotta hand it to you though... you got patience!

and by the way, walking out on your partner on every little conflict is not a good sign...

Answer 12

You have encountered a typical communication issue; trying to translate her "code".

This is indicative of a spoiled brat, or, PMS, or, some kind of warped attempt at setting control limits in a new marriage. Is she going to always get her way by taking off alone pretending she is miffed, and knowing that you don't want to upset her?

There's room for some counseling here.

Answer 13

It does sound like a trick question and also seems maybe she had something else in mind or took that time and called someone.  Later then you joined her?  It's not a newlywed thing.  I have no idea what to make of it  

Answer 14

Oh man, you married a control freak mind game playing nutcase. Sorry to have to tell you that.

A responsible adult, when presenting another person with an option of not doing something, shouldn't be at all surprised when the person they are asking takes the question to mean what the asker wants to do themselves. The way she ran that game on you sounds a LOT like someone testing you to see how far she can push and manipulate you, and to see if you can read her mind in a way that she seems to insist that you be able to do, which is insane.

You need to have a real serious talk with her, and explain to her that if she does want to go out, she needs to ask you that in ways that clearly tell you that thats what she wants to do. Expecting you to not only read her mind, but to guess her intent, when it goes opposite to her statements is insane and control freaky.

She may well need marriage counseling to acquaint her with both the notion of clear communication, and to show her that mind game playing tends to have one result: divorce.  

Answer 15

You and your wife have a lot to talk about, And if you don't talk seriously about what she does, this will happen again and again. Why she did this I haven't a clue. Good Luck.

Answer 16

This is the weirdest thing I've by far heard on this answer forum.....considering the other things.......

I'm just confused, and my answer would have been to leave her alone-she obviously is not thinking before she speaks. This will be a big problem.

Answer 17

It is not just a newlywed thing. It is marriage in general. You will learn that us woman have mood swings out of nowhere! It sounds that maybe she just wanted a little space. Adjusting to marriage is a little challenging especially if you are used to having "alone time" whenever you please.  

Answer 18

When she briefly suggests something, it's her way of saying that's what she wants to do.

Answer 19

P.M.S or she is seeing someone on the side.

Answer 20

You know, communication is key to any relationship and the fact that she does not want to talk about something when confronted is selfish and plain rude. Why did you wait a few hours later to talk about seeing the movie? Obviously you two wanted to see the movie so why not go out at that time and go see it? Talking about things is important and its sad when someone just does not want to do it. Good luck.

Answer 21

Better get used to it if this is what she does from time to time in circumstances like that,

I guess you'll have to ask "what do YOU want to do?" every time