Is this just part of the terrible twos?

Question

Out of nowhere, my son will not go to bed. He turned two this past March. He will toss and turn and scream in bed. He will stand in his doorway and throw a huge fit (there is a tall baby gate to keep him inside at night, as he is a sleepwalker). He will whine and cry until I come in there and then he will throw something at his little brother and wake him up. Then he will scream even more. Is this just part of the terrible twos? What can I do to help him? I give him his favorite blanket, plush animal, I've even resorted to letting him go to bed with a sippy cup, which I finally recently broke him of having a bottle in bed. Could this just be part of the bottle breaking cycle? I finally just cut all the nipples and threw all the bottles, rings, etc. in the trash, and he usually went to bed with a bottle. I now only let him bring a sippy cup of water once in a while. Suggestions greatly appreciated. The only thing I am not willing to do is stick him in our bedroom.

Answer 1

My oldest son did this (5 years) however my second son never did (4 years). I am waiting to see how it will be with our daughter (20 months- we are keeping her in her crib). This was a real problem in our house as the two boys had to share a bedroom. My husband and I each found a way to make it work for ourselves depending in who is putting the kids to bed. Despite who's turn it is to put them to bed, we each have a strict routine that we follow. My husband has a longer routine which every night involves saying good night to mom, changing into pajamas, saying our prayers, putting our daughter in her crib, laying the boys down in mom and dad's "big bed" and reading books. Dad spends almost 45 minutes reading books with our boys. They usually fall asleep and then he transfers them into their beds. As for me, my routine has to be a bit different as I am not carrying my sleeping 5 year old to bed, he's huge. Also 45 minutes of book reading may sound great but there is no way I am going to spend more then 15-20 minutes at that time reading books with those kids...I have to get their laundry washed before I can go to bed. I tell them all to tell dad good night, we go up stairs, get into pajamas, we all read one book, I put my daughter in her crib, I say prayers with the boys, turn on the night light, tuck the boys in and out the door I go...however, I grab something (I usually keep it right outside the kids bedroom door in the hall closet for easy access and no fussing) like a book I am meaning to read or a basket of clean laundry to fold and go across the hall to my room where I can hear any noise or movement from their room. When ever I hear any sounds I stop the book or the laundry and tell them, "Go to bed, close your eyes and face the wall". When I first started this it literally took an hour (sometimes two!) for them to go to sleep and I often had to walk into their room and (without looking at them in the eyes or saying anything beyond "go to bed, face the wall"...sometimes they would just lay in bed and look at me as I walked out) place them back into their beds. I stayed consistent....now they go to sleep for me in 15 minutes flat where my husband still chooses to do the longer bedtime routine. There are days my oldest goes to sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. The key is making a routine and sticking to it or they will never grow out of it.

*Edit* They were also not allowed a sippy cup in bed, I chose to "cold turkey" them from the bottle and that was it.

Answer 2

If you ever watched the Nanny she opposes doing anything "special" for the little tot that won't go to bed.  After you read him a story and tuck him in he needs to sleep.  If he gets up you need to firmly take him by the hand, don't turn on the light, and place him back in bed.  Keep doing this until he is exhausted and stays.  You will be exhausted too but you will win out.  Do not, I repeat Do not put him in your bed because then he will have won and you will be eternally sorry.  Stick with it, parents win, don't give in.  Don't reward bad behavior.

Answer 3

my daughter is about 2 1/2, she turned 2 this past march as well. she is the same way. it's not the bottle breaking cycle. my daughter was on a sippy cup at one and she is now drinking out of regular cups. so it's not that. you could try a night light, try a nightly routine. try and read him a favorite book, but tell him you will only read him a story one time a night, if he stays in bed. try putting him to bed before his little brother. i found what works, is if i give her, her blanket, a sippy cup with just a small amount of water, her teddy, read her a short story and shut ALL of the lights out, shut the door and just ignore her crying, because she eventually learns that she is going to have to go to sleep on her own, or cry herself to sleep. I do believe it may have a LITTLE something to do with the terrible two's, but now my daughter uses the "i have to potty" excuse. she is potty trained now. lol. it's to the point where they are getting older and they want to stay up too. and i've heard it only gets worse when they are three. if so, than it looks like you and i are in for about another rough road for a year and a half. haha. hope it helps :)

Answer 4

It sounds like he might be having problems with his LITTLE brother. He might be missing some of the attention that was given to him and it is now going to his sibling. Continue to comfort and support and manage as well as you can. He is two and someday he will be 15 and you will miss these days. I know now its hard but the joy of seeing your kids grow is fun. Spend even more special time with him. You sound like a wonderful Parent and you also sound like you are in control and you just need support for yourself. It will be okay. Hang in there. I will be saying a Special Pray for you. Be Blessed.

Answer 5

my son is the same way... and he is not 2. I did how ever cut him from the bottle long ago and he has NEVER taken anything to drink into his bed. he is not allowed to take anything. he sleeps in a toddler bed in the living room. (*we have a large area we sectioned off and made his room... we only have one room apartment and no one comes over so we dont need all the space all the time*) he has all his toys in there and he cant get out less we take him out, so he is either in his bed or playing toys. I would take him out of the room with brother... or maybe take brother out and leave him in there. You might need to close the door at night till you are sure he is sleeping and then open it. Maybe putting something he cant see over... under or around might help him stop coming to the door. Is he in a toddler bed? Take the sippy cup out of the nightly routine also... this only cause teeth issues. I know it is only water... soon enough this wont work and he will scream for more then water. this is prolly the terrible two. but it is also... I can make mommy come out and get me and wake up brother and make a fuss and nothing anyone can do about it. he is controlling the situation when you get up.

*(** i really think that he needs his own area. or his own room some how so he cant bother brother by throwin or screaming.

Good luck... I hope it passes soon!

Answer 6

I totally understand you not wanting to spank your son and it is awesome that timeout works for you. but spanking is in no way violence. Beating or hitting a child with a closed fist or hitting them other than their butt is violence but not spanking.

  Unfortunately yes it is a part of being two and you taking away the bottle. also at this stage if you ended up giving in once then he is going to try even harder to get you to do it again because he thinks you will.  do not give in. Be consistent and if he needs to cry it out for 2 nights until he realizes that mommy is not going to give in then so be it. No one may get much sleep but in the long run you will make up for it because he will go to bed without the scream fit.

Answer 7

Talk to other Moms in your area...

www.mamasource.com

I am not a mother, but I don't think that a spanking would work. He may not understand what is going on, he just knows that he feels a certain way and he can't explain it except for the only way he knows how.

God Bless you and your family and I pray the the right answer comes along for you!

Answer 8

Just needs a spanking it will do wonders.

Spanking is not violence, it is correction. That's whats wrong with these kids nowdays.

Answer 9

Tell him if he screams like that again he will get a spanking! Then when he does give him a swift and powerful swat on the butt.