Is this normal? Please help me!

Question

Im a mother of three girls [8, 6 & 3yrs old]

Whenever me and hubby go out, and i get them a babysitter who isnt a relative i worry. Really bad.

I know she is eight! & three isnt that young.. But i just worry and have to come home.

I cant stand it.

This isnt normal is it?

i dont know what i am worried about; how can i get over this?

Answer 1

It's called being a good mom.  You are going to worry, no matter what the situation is.  Just try to keep your worries to a minimum and enjoy yourself.

Answer 2

You are over protective !  since you know most of your baby

sitters, your problem is you are using all these kids and deep

down you know the few dollars aren't worth the Precious beings

that which are your children !!!

You seriously need to find somebody, semi mature that is

great with kids and don't mind a bit of company (by babysitting

them) and pay her fairly ! ........ Believe me your conscious will

be taking a big holiday and of course always use the same

person, it becomes familiar with the children too and everyone

will be a lot happier.

You have just been making it a little harder on yourself because

there isn't an established definite pattern there and your tuning

in that it is not quite right !  that's fine ... think about what i said

find an Aunt out there not married, and go for it .

Don't put yourself down for listening to your feelings as a parent

that is the most important line of defense for our families.

Answer 3

well, realistically it is worrying if you leave your children with someone you don't know !

the best thing to do is, whenever you go out you should get someone you trust to babysit them . whether its a friend or a relative !  

Answer 4

because you are a mum, because u love them.

it is totally normal....

give your self sometime, everything will be allright!

Answer 5

I also have 3 girls, 9,7 and 2.....and yes I worry also, I never leave them.  I dont know what it is, but I have the same problem, you see some women leave their children constantly with other people, I dont know how, I just cant live with myself when I do.

Answer 6

Well, if you don't use a sitter often then it's normal to feel this way.

But if you have used them often and nothing has happened to your children thus far, I think you need to trust the sitter a little bit more, give him/her some credit for goodness sake for doing a good job so far.

Otherwise, why are you coming home?  Why don't you just call them, every 30 minutes if it makes you feel better?  You deserve a night out once in a while.

Answer 7

Any mother is going to worry when they leave their children in the care of others.

I think you just need to force yourself from coming home early and perhaps make a phone call to check up on them.

Overtime you will feel better about this situation and wont be needing to rush home everytime.

Goodluck!

Answer 8

Don't worry your babysitting is probably taking care of your kid. Also get over it by not think negitave and think positive

Answer 9

I use to feel the same way. But I just did it anyway (with someone I trusted of course). The more I did it the easier it became. I still do not do it that often only a few times a year actually, but I finally am ok with it and can enjoy my time out. You just have to let go of the guilt and have faith in the person you have left them with. Maybe leave them with an adult instead of a teenager if that is who you are using. But the best thing you can do is to fight the urge and finish your evening.

Answer 10

If we turn on the TV or look in the paper, we see lots of bad news. No-one would bother buying papers or listening to news that said, "Judy went out tonight and left her kids with a babysitter and they were all happy when she got home," but if this is what we kept seeing and hearing, we wouldn't be so worried.    Most times people leave their kids with neighbours etc. they are OK, but we read or hear about the times kids are not OK and so we worry.  We read about this because it is bad news.  We can't help worrying because we keep being told that something could go wrong.  You said that you worry when the people are not from your family.  Does this mean that you could leave them with parents, brothers, sisters, cousins etc.?  If you can,why not do this; if not, make sure that you leave them with someone who is a parent who you trust.  Younger people may be great, but they don't have that experience, so you may be right to worry.  I was in a babysitting club with community members who I knew and that was good.  If I couldn't use that for some reason, I made sure that I used someone with children.  That made me feel better.

Answer 11

Maybe you suffer of anxiety attacks? I was the same way..I used to only trust my mom or dad...but I even freaked out with my dad..lol now I can laugh but before I was worried alot. Im ok now. Do you work? I really cant recommend anything because it took time for me.

Answer 12

Of course. It's your maternal instincts telling you that you should be there.

Anything can go wrong anytime. Though they may love your kids, non-relatives most likely won't love them as their own.

Nothing wrong with a night out, but you should find someone you are more comfortable with to sit.

Answer 13

this is normal. if you are really worried buy a teddy cam or set up a cam in the house to check out what's going on while your gone. you may be pleasantly surprise that everything is going as planned.

good luck!

Answer 14

I feel the same, 3 boys, aged 8 & 7 (twins), i'm not sure how or if you ever get over it. I think its a natural part of being a parent.

Answer 15

Your a good mom,  worrying  never stops, but you have plenty of time before they go off to college, graduate and head off to a forgein  country, then all you need is faith --- that you raised good kids with a solid back ground --and know that all  your hard work was noticed and will be protected as they fly.

god bless