Is this normal after having a baby??

Question

ever since my husband and i had our son 4 1/2 months ago i feel like i just dont want anything to do with my husband. i dont want to feel this way but i do. its so hard to explain. i dont want to be intimate with him, i dont care if we spend time with each other or not, i dont miss him when he's gone all day anymore, and i feel like im not even in love with him anymore. but the thing is i want t be in love with him still and want all those feelings back. people have told me that its post pardom depression. has anyone felt like this after they have had a baby?? and do you ever feel the same about your husband again?? my whole pregnancy i was so in love, now its just so weird... any advise??

please no sarcastic remarks, if you're going to be an *** hole because im asking for advise on how im feeling then get a life!

Answer 1

i feel the exact same way rite now with my bf. he wants to be all intimate and i dont feel comfortable with it. knowing that a living person came out of there.. its really wierd. i mean i want to but its just wierd. as for the missing him part, i do miss him when hes not home, cuz when he isnt i have a h**l of a time with my daughter by myself i have so much to do but she just wants to be constantly held, or be on the nipple, and i cant be doing that. so when he comes home its easier.

but its just post-partum, maybe things will change, be a lil different.

i hope things go easier for you, good luck

Answer 2

They are right, it's post-depression. Hang in there, you will get those feelings back. Little things help, when he holds your two's son watch how good he is and how much you two wanted your baby and look what you made. Talk with your doctor, I am sure you don't wanna be on any medication but, it could help, be open to anything the "could" work. Take a date night to get to know each other again, it is amazing how much someone can change after a baby. Good luck and hang in there.  

Answer 3

Your relationship with your husband has drastically changed and that's okay.  You may not have that 'head over heels' feeling for him right now, but that doesn't mean that you don't love him or aren't 'in love' with him.  Having a new baby changes your whole life.  If you think you *might* be depressed go speak with your doctor about it.  They'll ask you questions to determine if it really is postpartum depression.  And they can give you medication/counseling to help if necessary.  

Mother of a 10-month-old and married for 10 years.

Answer 4

That could be from sleep deprivation (from having a new baby) and your hormones getting back to normal ..

I wouldn't necessarily say it's 'postpartum depression' but it's also not normal ..

I know I was SO sleep deprived when my son was born, my husband and I weren't nearly as intimate as we were before his birth. BUT things did get back to normal (in that area) within a month or two. Having a baby is a HUGE life changing experience!

You're probably putting so much time and effort into this baby that it's taking all your time and you don't have as much time for your husband. If you feel that you 'don't love' your husband anymore, then that very well could be postpartum depression.

I think you should talk to your Doctor about this. I know I was soo sleep deprived after having my son, but I never 'lost feelings' for my husband.

Good luck! And congrats on the new addition ..

Answer 5

Sounds normal to me!  It wasn't that I didn't love my husband, it was just that our lives got shaken up!  I was tired, I was emotional (I had PPD bad) and I felt numb.

I got treated for the depression which helped.  Plus, you gotta think, your body right now is all about taking care of baby.  Feeding, nurturing, etc.. it's no wonder we don't want to share our bodies with anyone else.

My son is 19 months now, and my husband and I are like we used to be before we had the baby- happy in love!  But, it took over 6 months after the baby was born to START to get back to normal.  

Don't feel like you're the only one who feels this way.... I think we all do, you're def not alone!  But, don't give up on your marriage.  Just keep in mind it takes time to get a good routine down.

Answer 6

i had that, i felt like i didnt know my partner and i didnt feel the same feelings for him it only lsted a few daysthough not months i love him to bits agaun. Have u spoken to a doctor?

I hope everything works out

x*x

Answer 7

This is normal and as much as you think this feeling is never gonna go away in time it will.. Don't worrie it's all the crazy hormones  

Answer 8

It's not uncommon as people may think it to be. and it's not necessarily a sign of PPD either, unless you have other signs of PPD (no appetite, not wanting to take care of house chores, or baby etc.)

It's called (in my terms) focusing on yourself and adjusting to the new you, and caring for your baby. baby and your needs are just so overwhelming that that's all you have time to think of. Not everyone heals in 6 weeks time from labor and delivery, and especially if you are very active, your body needs to heal more than the average woman does.

So relax and don't be to anxious, because that'll just postpone the intimacy feelings longer, and soon enough everything will return to you. In the meanwhile, once in a while, amuse your husband with his desires for intimacy, as that is part of getting back the desire for it on your own accord.