Is this normal at 1 years old?

Question

My daughter tells me no all the time....it's her favorite word. But now the no is accompanied with hitting and she even tried to bite me today!! She just turned one 2 weeks ago! Isn't this a little young to be displaying this type of behavior? I'm so frustrated. And when I'm stern and tell her no or stop or even tap her hand she just laughs at me!

Answer 1

She has to be learning it from somewhere, perhaps someone she looks up to. It's very hard to tell a 1 yr old what's not nice to say. Just say "That's not nice, you don't tell Mommy no!" If she laughs at you, put her in the corner. Say "Mommy put you in the corner because you were not being nice. You need to stop telling me no." If she gets up, you need to keep putting her back. You WILL win if you be consistent. Good luck :) I know it's not easy - I have a 3 year old with a whole lot of attitude :)

Answer 2

Well I too think it is normal I have a 2 year old she has never bitten but she has and still does hit and say no if you tell her no she has gotten that word from you and at 1 I don't think she truly understands the words meaning I try not to use the no word because it's my daughters favorite word I try to remove her from the situation and turn her attention on something else and in a few months if nothing changes then start timeouts and I too now that my daughter is 2 will smack her back so she knows how it feels just be patient she is trying you right now to see what she can get away with Good luck to you on your way to the terrible two's

Answer 3

My son just turned 1 on 7-8, and his favorite (and only!) word is "no"  - also accompanied with a swoosh of his hand like he's going to hit something.

My husband and I play a game with him that gets him giggling - everytime he says NO, we say YES with the same amount of passion (sometimes it goes on for a couple of minutes)

He eventually gets out of the cycle and on to something else.

Answer 4

well it is normal for no and the biting is to get your attention but u must teach her not to even if it mean u must tap her hand or bum but not hard just to tell her everytime u bite mummy is not talking to u. then she will learn biting is not working to get your attention. well if she has already started being a little horror i feel sorry for u because my 18 month old is tottally out of hand and trying to calm her down she is just tooo hiper my little one hope this has helped and hope i haven't affended u

Answer 5

It is totally normal my son was like that about 11 months and he is nearly 2 and he is still hard work welcome to toddler hood. I have tried everything to dicipline him and to do as he is told but nothing works i have tried

slapping

shouting

talking to him about

naughty spot/step

ignoring him

getting dad to tell him

taking toys from him or not letting him do something

placing him in his playpen when being naughty

these might work for you.

Answer 6

I recommend not tapping her hand because that is not teaching her that hitting is wrong, just teaching her that if someone hits you to hit them back, even if it is just a tap its all the same to a baby

When she does this try to ignore her and not look shocked or shout at her then she will stop since the biting is atention seeking. Distract her to something positive

Answer 7

My kids have done it and i thought about the smacking the butt and the slapping the hand but real ly what are we teaching are children right there that it is okay to hit...Well then you askwhat to do i tried the time out method it works for some and yes it is hard with young ones but at least they don't think it is okay to hit put her in her room and let her sit there for a couple of minutes orsit her on the couch displining a baby is hard but i belive you can do it best of luck keep on it and it will!

Answer 8

With your daughter being so young, she has picked up this behavior from somewhere(daycare,home siblings,ect.).the next time she does this, get down to her level and have her look at you in your eyes and in a stern tone tell her that her behavior is in appropriate and put her in the naughty chair for 2 min. It may take several times of doing it, but don't give in. This independence age will soon pass. Just stick to your guns you will be fine.

Answer 9

Yes its normal because (I found) the age between a year and 18mths is quite frustrating for them and is when they need to learn their boundaries (ie hitting not ok). My daughter is nearly two and is pretty good - I'm waiting for these 'terrible twos' you hear about - but in all honestly I think she had them at your daughters age! lol

Ignoring is the best punishment. They love attention so much, even if its you angry or firm, so the best thing to do when you say NO is to then turn your back, don't look at her and ignore her for a minute. (A minute per year of age)

Not quite at 12mths, but a bit later, I have had to do time out a handful of times and was shocked that it actually worked! I'ds yell 'SIT DOWN THERE' and although my D cried she did as she was told (the first time was because she'd upended my whole dinner on the floor! I was mad I can tell you! And I put her in time out mainly so I could clean up without her treading it all in)

Answer 10

well it is normal, for sure they lean to want what they want...she will out grow it or you can make sure she takes you seriously by thumping her hand and being sure she sees your serious you don't have to be mean just stern and if she laughs...which most one year olds don't do...just show her again that it is not funny

yes the biting is normal too they learn that really fast when they are around other children but can also just like using their new teeth...it is all normal toddler behavior...however unpleasant

Answer 11

Yeah, it's pretty normal.  When she hits/bites you, hold that hand (not roughly) and firmly say "No Thank-you".  Then, put her in time out, preferably one spot in the house (We have a "chair of better choices") so she knows where to go.  Set a timer, for something like 2 minutes.  If she cries or throws a tantrum, she should sit there and the timer starts when she is quiet.  She needs to sit quietly for the full 2 minutes before she can get up.  After her time out, you should sit down with her and talk to her to show her that you understand why she is upset.

You need to be consistent with everyone in the house as well as your friends and family or she will learn that while it's not OK with you, she can do it to anyone else.

Eventually, the phase will pass, but for now, you'll just have to do your best.  Good Luck =)

Answer 12

This problem is perfectly normal at this age.  I too went through the exact same thing when my daughter was one.  I firmly believe that you should not slap/tap a child to teach that slapping is not ok.  Time out works wonders at this age!  I have read that you should give a minute of timeout for the age they are.  In your case, it would be one minute every time they hit or bite.  She will not laugh in time out, mine never did (I did have to constantly put her back in for a while, until she got used to the idea of what time out actually was)!

Answer 13

No, not to young at all.. Infact she is right on schedule. My daughter is about to turn 2, and she still hits and bites. The biting is a sign of extreme frustration, so i try and get her to calm down and tell her to be nice, while holding her hands to her side. To be honest with you though, I think the hitting is a way of getting attention. If I had it to do all over again. I would have ignored the bad behavior, and acted all happy and excited over good behavior, that way she chooses to be good over bad! Hope this helps, good luck girl! :)

Answer 14

Yes, it's normal. She's testing boundaries. If she bites, bite her back. Not hard, just enough to show her what it feels like since she doesn't know yet. If you let her continue this particular behavior what happens in the future? When she raises her hand to hit, grab it and tell her NO. Don't release until she's stopped struggling to hit. If she does hit, then put her into a crib or playpen and tell her that she can't come out unless she stops hitting. Continue doing this until she's learned it's unacceptable! And a pat on the diaper padded bottom might not hurt either. Just enough of a pat with your bare hand on her padded bottom to let her know you mean business. It might startle her and she may cry, but know that it's probably from surprise and not pain. I have read a lot that if you use your bare hand and not an object like a stick or belt, you will experience the "pat" as well so you know how much force you're using. One pat on the behind does not constitute abuse according to what I've read. Just don't take it overboard by using more force than necessary to get your point across. She has to realize somehow that you mean business and will not tolerate her behavior and that may be the only way to do it.

NOW is the time to set the boundaries. Trust me, it will NOT be easy. Just be consistent and in time she will learn. Best of luck to you!!

Answer 15

"No" is the favorite word of alot of toddlers. She is testing you to see how far she can go before you get mad.

If she wants to play physically, then try the hitting game:

When your child misbehaves, tell them you want to play the hitting game. Hit them on their arm. Ask if they want to keep playing. If they say no, don't hit. If they say yes, hit them a little harder and keep asking until they don't want to play anymore.

Answer 16

It's very normal.  I call it the No-no phase. My son went thru it for a couple of months.  Please know that kids at this age are too young to understand discipline.  My son was always hitting and biting.  I tried to give him a little swat too and it did no good.  I found that if I ignored him it made more of a impact.  For example: He would hit me and I would tell him sternly do not hit, it hurts and we don't hit.  then I would set him on the floor and ignore him for a few minutes.  It's a modified time out.  She's hitting and biting you to test her boundaries and plus she gets attention from you when she does it and that's what she wants.  When you ignore her she'll learn fast that this is not the reaction that she was hoping for.  Don't worry, she'll grow out of it in a couple of months.

Answer 17

It is a phase.  She has just discovered her independence and the best way to express that is to reject everything you say so No is her favorite word.  Babies are little savages because they do not have the venere of civilization that we have.  They have aggression but they have not learned to supress or properly displya that or any other feeling they might have.

You need to step up the discipline  I do not mean to beat the child but you stern voice could be more stern. Do not laugh or play around when you are intending to discipline her.  It is time to show her that you mean business.  Consistancy and patience are the game you must play.  Patience so that you can get through it and consistancy so that she can learn and realise that Mommy means it when she says do not do such and such.  If it is any consolation they say that is an indication of a bright child.

Answer 18

No, it's not too young, it seems to be right on schedule. She's doing to 1. test the boundaries and 2. to get attention. I have tried several things and it depends on the child for which one worked. I ignored completely (which only works on one of mine) I did the spanking of the hand, or I did time out. 2 year olds are old enough to understand time outs and boundaries. It may take a few times, but once you establish a pattern with a discipline method, the child will learn rather quickly. Just stay consistent. Oh, I've also tried reasoning, which only worked on one of the kids to saying "that hurts mommy when you do that, with a sad face" I'd get an I'm sorry and a hug. Hope this helps

Answer 19

DO NOT SMACK HER FOR HITTING!! Its kind of a catch22 right? She thinks it is a game that is why she is laughing!!Tell her hands are not for hitting, hitting hurts! Then put her in a very short time-out (preferably in a different room) and completely ignore her. Unless shes going to really hurt herself. Holding her breath or just falling down isn't really hurting herself she will breathe before she dies and she won't deliberately hurt herself.  I used to do that to my daughter and she would stay and cry for a little while and then get up and play as she got older and understood more I made her stay in timeout.  As for the biting have something handy that you can put in her mouth to bite BEFORE she bites someone!! That is the easiest way to stop a biter, before they bite!

Answer 20

my nephew went through that same stage. she is just doing terrible 2's early.

when my nephew started hitting we told him "if you hit me again you are going to sit in time out corner."

If he did hit again we placed him in a corner and in a very firm voice said "you hit _____ and that is bad now you sit and don't you move. leave for 30 second then come and get him.

If he got up we picked him up and placed him back in time out corner and say in firm voice "i told you to sit." then wait 30 sec. and say you can get up now but no more (name what did wrong) or you will sit again in time out corner.

Answer 21

My daughter does the same thing and she's 17 months almost 18. But sometimes if like somone says in a stern voice she'll stop. I'm sure that they will grow out of it! Nothing to worry about! Sometimes it helps if you tap her hand and say no really sternly. Other times it don't. Try doing the things to her that she does to you. Maybe she'll stop for the moment or maybe it could get worse.. like a game... not sure. It works for my daughter sometimes. Sometimes she'll give me a hug and kiss me and other times she'll laugh. Good luck

Answer 22

I have a 15 month old, and don't see that behavior.  I think the reason is that I try to say "no" to him as little as possible.  Instead, I redirect and distract (for example, if he's banging the screen door, rather than say "no," I'd say--"look at your truck" and roll it to him, or say "come here" and reward him if he comes by some gentle rough-housing.)  I reserve "no" for immediate health and safety issues (if something is dirty or could break) where I may not be able to get to him fast enough.  I would never try tapping his hand as discipline.  You don't want to teach them to hit, and that sounds like what you've done.  If you stop tapping her, maybe you will have better luck in getting her to stop hitting you.  If my son hits me, I say "no hitting, hitting hurts" and grab his hand so he can't keep doing it.  But it's extremely rare.

Answer 23

My son is trying me the same way and he is will be 2 in a couple weeks. Now when he tells me no and hits me I hold his hand, and look him in the eyes and tell him "no hit mommy" He understands when im not screaming and really upset. Your daughter is just one so I would not start disciplining just yet. But she has to know when you are playing and when you are serious. Don't let her start hitting you and you just let it go or this will continue up until you stop it.... At least that's what my father told me.

Answer 24

Very often a baby's first word is no. 1. because they hear it often, and 2. It's an easy one for their mouths to form. The biting and hitting is normal also, but you may want to change your reaction to it. First, telling her no just gets her to say it more. And tapping her hand gets her to imitate you by hitting. She laughs because she thinks you're imitating her actions and babies think it's funny when we imitate them. If she hits or bites gently take her hand in yours and say, It hurts when you bite me, or it hurts when you hit me. And whatever you do don't bite or hit her back. If she tries to grab something out of the garbage, say, that's not for baby.It's yucky. And pull her away from it. Same for grabbing anything else that's dangerous. Say, that's not for baby. Let's go play with your toy. You see? Avoid the no word for now because she imitates it too much. She won't understand what you are saying at first but she'll get the message by your tone of voice. You're doing fine. Just chage these few things and you'll be doing even better.

Answer 25

She says "no" because she hears you say it, i'm sure... my kids did the same thing.

And at two years old, she is asserting herself, and discovering she's an individual, quite separate from you now.

If she bites, tell her to stop because it hurts... and if she continues, give her a three minute time out.  Be consistent.

If she laughs when you discipline her, let her know laughing won't change your rules.  If she mocks you, give her another time out.

You can probably find a lot of good books at the library on toddler behavior and how to cope.  She doesn't sound abnormal, but more like a toddler discovering her independence...

It will work out.. i hope you get good answers here.

Answer 26

Wow, this sounds so much like my daughter!  She started right around that age- first hair pulling before 1 yr old, then biting, scratching, pinching, and now swatting.

She's testing you and starting to show her independence.  We have successfully beat each stage, with the following treatment:

I get down to her level, say very sternly "you do not bite mommy!"  She, too, laughs at me... until I tell her she's going into time out.  About 45 seconds into her 1 minute time-out (which is done in her crib), her crying has subsided and I take the Nanny-911 approach (follow up by getting to her eye level and explaining that she needs to use her words to explain what she wants).  Sure, she's only a year old... but you're putting a framework down that will help as she develops over the next year.

The bottom line- let her know this is not okay, but keep your composure.  If you choose the path of spanking or hitting her hand, make sure she can see it is a calculated punishment, not a quick action out of anger.  

Good luck!

Answer 27

yes, it's normal. she is still at an age where everything will go in her mouth. It is time consuming, but this behavior can be broken.

For some reason, kid's hate the "aihhhnnnn" sound. It's a good deterent. As for time out, it is recommended to only do as many minutes as the child is old (ex., 2 years=2 min).

As long as you're consistent with punishment, she will outgrow this stage. I had to constantly make that noise and point my finger.....it broke my little one's heart. But he quit after about 4-6 months.

She's basically frustrated, she can't communicate with you and she's getting mad. This is just the only way she can show it.

Pick your battles right now. Work more on the behavior than the "no". And, you may need to spank her hand harder. She's getting older where the "tap" won't work. Make it hurt (don't abuse the child, just make it sting). Especially if it's the hand that's doing the "bad" thing. Seriously though, that noise will get her attention and she should stop.

Ask your pediatrician for any other things you can do to help with this behavior. Don't laugh when she says "no". That's probably why she laughs at you.....somebody laughed at her when she said it to begin with. It's just a joke to her.

Answer 28

Yes, this is normal.  Now that she's verbalizing, she's mimicking mommy.  She is testing her limits too.  This is a very frustrating time in child rearing, especially when she mocks you.  Try the good ole time out - the one minute for her age.  Tell her "no", and when she displays that behavior, put her on a stool away from all the excitement, and when she gets up (which she will try to do), just say no, and put her back on the stool.  Don't say anything else, just pick her up, and put her down.  It's gonna take a while, but she'll learn.  Good luck

Answer 29

yes that is normal not all children do it but some do, when she bites give her a teething ring to chew on, when she tells you know do not make a big deal of it or it becomes a game to her. kinda like a teenager they like to fight.  and everytime she hits its a time out for one min.  dont slap her hand or anything like that you want to break the thought of hitting, im not one of those parents that calls CPS when i see a child get spanked, but your trying to discourage the hitting and that shows her its ok.  good luck

Answer 30

You just need to let her know that it's not ok to bite or hit.  I am not sure what type of reaction you give her, but say something like "that is not ok". (don't say 'no' back to her)  Be stern but not mean.   If you are playing with her (toys, etc) then stop playing for a minute to let her know that what she did was not ok. Then go back to playing.  If she does it again, give her the same reaction.  Be consistent, she'll eventually realize there is a consequence.  I don't think she is purposely trying to hurt you.  She is little and just needs to learn that it's not okay to do that.

Answer 31

Put her in timeout. Most importantly be consistent. If you don't react and correct the first sign of the behavior it will just progress. Don't accept her saying no, tell her 'eh-eh', and if she says it again or tries to hit or bite put her in her play pen or in a corner and ignore her for a few minutes. By reacting I mean a very serious harsh tone, not a 'no no, don't do that'.

I also will not take my niece out (11 months) until she is calm. She can cry, scream or do whatever but I won't speak to her or acknowledge her until she is calm.