Is this normal behavior for a 7 year old only child?

Question

My neighbors have a 7 year old only child that loves to play with my (almost) 3 year old son. However, when she is at our house, she is constantly tattling on him (when he is doing things that are okay in our home), telling him no and basically "mothering" him. He doesn't really seem to mind, but I do! Also, she'll ignore him and try to talk with me instead of playing during playdates. Her mother doesn't seem concerned, but I really don't want them to play with eachother anymore, I think maybe the age difference is getting to be too much. What do you think? How can I handle this?

Answer 1

I think that the 7 yr old is trying to act like an adult. She's not quite a teen yet but she wants to act grown up. The mothering is also part of this. She doesn't want to be treated like a child anymore, therefore she talks to you instead of playing with the 3 yr old.

I think what you should do is have them play "house" so that she can feel like a grown up but it's all pretend. If the mothering is a problem for you then tell her that he doesn't like when she does that. As for the ignoring him part, just tell her you're busy and to go play with him.

Answer 2

7 year olds are like this, they think they know everything and just want to act grown up. If she keeps bossing your son around, boss her around. Dont be mean but just tell her that you don't want her to tell your son what to do because its not her son to do so.

Also just talk to the girls parents about this and work something out.

Answer 3

It's totally normal.   If he does not mind..leave it be.

Answer 4

I think the problem is the age difference. I sort of had the same problem but opposite of you. My son just turned 8 last weekend and our neighbors little boy is 3 and he loves to play with my son. My son has a learning disability and is a little immature for his age so he gets along okay with the 3 yr old and they mostly play with cars and stuff but the problem for me was my son would come home acting like a 3 yr old LOL He would come home and throw a tantrum which henever did before. The neighbor does it a lot and well basically the age difference was causing issues there so I limited the amount of time my son goes over next door to play. It's not so bad when all the kids (my 4 and the  neighbors 2) are together playing outside but when my son goes over and has one on one with their son that is when it would happen. I didn't say anything to the mom because her son's behavior is normal for a 3 yr old and I didn't want it to seem as though I was putting him down. I just simply started limiting the time he went over and if she called to ask for him over I would say he was busy or had a lot of homework or whatever came to mind. He only goes once in a while now.

Answer 5

I think the "mothering" is natural for a lot of girls and so is the bossiness LOL. I have 2 girls and they love it when I watch a toddler. But they do not tattle on him, and if she is just coming over to talk with you I would put an end to the play dates. She is actually acting a lot like and older sibling would. And if and when it bugs your son he will let her know. But that is a big age difference so just tell the parent she is too old for play dates with him.

I work as a substitute EA and one of our favorite lines is "you worry about you"  and I will worry about _______ what ever the child's name is they are tattling on. You can also just tell the girl, I appreciate you coming over to play, but if all you are going to do is tattle and not play with him, then maybe it would be better if you went home. It will probably hurt her feelings but there is really no way not to in this situation, and the mother should tell her daughter to quit tattling/bossing your son.

Answer 6

Around the age of 6, children are suddenly aware of people outside of themselves, and at about 7 are obsessed with sorting out "right" from "wrong" and they see everything as "black" or "white"... no in-between.  Since they are so interested  in it, they revel in watching others and getting excited over anything that strays from their perception of "right."  It's a natural age for this behavior.  With my children, I found it helpful to very sweetly inform them that, unless the younger child was hurting himself or someone else, or making a giant mess, that I should not be informed.  They are simply trying to be helpful and so should not be scolded, but simply reminded (about a million times, in some cases, heh heh).  They are not hoping that the "mis-behaving" child will get punished; they are worried that there is behavior that is "wrong" and needs to be corrected.  They actually are trying to help. I would probably say something to the older child, like, "You're so wonderful, trying to help out with Johnny. Thank you for playing so nice with him.  It will help me a lot if you can remember to ONLY tell me what Johnny's doing when you can see he's hurting someone or hurting himself."  Then, remind her each time she slips up, but always with a smile.  It does, indeed, take a whole village to raise a child.  Remember, your little one will soon be 7 and be just as annoying to someone else's mother. lol

The age difference between the girl and your child is large enough that, for the girl, she's really sort of babysitting, at least that's probably how she sort of views it. (Girls love to play house and be the mommy) Also, she must  look up to you as a very kind person, to want to spend time talking to you. If you don't wish to have her over,  just explain to the other mom that Johnny's not available for a playdate "today" and if the other mom ever asks you about why he can hardly ever play, it's fine to explain how things are when her daughter is playing with your child, and that, since you don't want to hurt her daughter's feelings by being annoyed with her, it's best to limit their playtime. It's probably best that the little girl is never the wiser.  Good luck.

Answer 7

I think she is just doing that to get attetion I'm 15 years old and did the exact same thing when I was her age because I wanted attetion and I knew it got on people's nerves so you should probaly just ignore her and don't show her your getting irrated wth her and see if she stops after a while and if she doesn't stop after about a two or three days then you shouldn't let them play together anymore