Is this normal behavior or could it be a mental disorder?

Question

I'm trying to make sure that that I'm completely healthy mentally, as my family has a history of major depression, manic depression, ADHD, anxiety and mild OCD. (Yeah, my family is extremely difficult to deal with.)

Alright, so I'm normally very happy and optimistic. (Or at least, I try to be happy and optimistic all of the time by smiling and laughing even when I'm sad. This pretty much makes it so that I normally get happy.)

I normally like to be alone, and absolutely dread being around large crowds. (I always get paranoid around birthday parties, and I never go to school dances.)

I hate going to new places and meeting new people. If I have to go to a birthday party, dance, new place, or talk to a new person I get so anxious I can barely think about anything but that. If I have to talk in front of a bunch of people, I shake like crazy, my cheeks light up, and my heart pounds so much I can barely breathe.

If something bad (big or small) happens, I can't stop thinking about it for days, and when I do I get extremely sad. I only talk to people I know, and only around them am I remotely outgoing. Even around those people that I love and cherish, I don't really open my heart much unless it's about something that isn't too personal (like George W. Bush). My dad once described me as "the secret police".

I think about death often, but not of dying. I'm even anxious about dying. I get sad or upset really easily, but I can fake acting happy to the point that I'm really genuinly happy. If I'm having a lot fun, I completely forget about myself and usually end up doing something that embarrasses me easily later. (And then I can't stop thinking about what a fool I made myself into.)

I'm extremely self-conscience . (If I'm around people, I fiddle with my hair and clothing and worry about what people think of my appearence.)

I cry if I'm even remotely yelled or ranted at. I eat when I'm upset, but barely eat when I'm happy. (Luckily, I eat mostly health food.) When I talk to people, even close family members, I rush to get my words out to the point where some of my words get mixed up sometimes, and I get extremely embarrassed.

My life revolves around art, music, literature, being outside, and school.

Some days I hate myself, other days I love myself and wouldn't want to be anyone but me.

Please, let me know if theres something fishy going on here. I really don't know what the actual requirements are for mental disorders, so I don't know if I'm normal or not. I just always feel abnormal and inferior to others.

Thanks!

Note: Sorry about this being so incredibly long. When I write, things come out easily--but when I talk, everything is as short and too the point as can be. Sorry. =/

Answer 1

I don't know. There might be something wrong.

I mean I'm "normal" and I don't like being in big crowds. I prefer being alone also. I also get nervous when I have to meet new people and stuff.

But maybe you're overly emotional since you get sensitive easily.

At the same time it might be because of your age. I don't know how old you are but maybe you're just at that stage of life where you're still trying to figure things out so you're self conscious and sensitive.

Try going to a psycologist to see if you really are "normal" or if you have a mental disorder.

Answer 2

No one can diagnose you here, even with you providing such detailed info. However, anxiety, ODC and depressive symptoms seem to stand out to me. Our environment has much to do with how we become when we grow up. I'd advise you to have few sessions with a therapist to see what their professional opinion is and if anything needs to be worked on.

Answer 3

I don't know what to tell you, but I can relate. Unless we're both loonies, I think you're quite normal.

Oops. That was a bad thing to say, wasn't it?

I am not a psychologist, so I cannot tell you how to improve, but I can assure you that many people feel this way.

I do think you might have an anxiety disorder. You seem to be full of worry. I would suggest learning to relax, but that would be bad advice because I myself don't know how to relax.    

Answer 4

omg i could ditto everything you just said about myself....i can't wait to read the answers you get. uh oh we're both crazy insane. just laugh thats what crazy people do .... i think...or don't they? hmmmm  

Answer 5

You are an indigo child or an empath.  I know this sounds odd, but there is nothing wrong.  We all deal with c**p in our lives and eventually face it all head on, but you are also dealing with "empathy" for others.  This is incredibly special.  Everyone on this earth is an empath, but many have no idea they have empathy.  The ones who are aware have a hard time understanding why they feel this way.

This is very spiritual and I am going to send you a website to visit.

Peace to you.

http://healing.about.com/cs/empathic/a/u...

http://www.extrasensory-perceptions-guid...

Answer 6

Sounds like a social anxiety disorder, which actually is fairly common.  If it's overwhelming, talk to your doctor.

Answer 7

That sounds like some social anxiety.  Whether or not it's a disorder only a doc could say.  Since it sounds like this is limiting your life, you might want to talk with a counselor about lifting up your self-esteem and figuring out how to come out of your shell.  That's probably the source of any depression you feel.  Some of this is probably being a teenager, but maybe some of it is a little more.  Really, no one here can say for sure.  Yet, I do know that being to closed to others tends to lead to isolation when you get older.

PS - Normal is a statistical average.  It doesn't really exist.  Celebrate your differences and enjoy the differences in others.  That is part of what makes life rich.  And if it helps any, I have bipolar and nothing your described sounds like you have symptoms.

Answer 8

It sounds like you may have Social Anxiety. It can be treated and it's really not that bad. It also sounds like you're just extremely insecure. Don't worry everyone is! But when you're talking in a big crowd an you start feeling shakey  just say "In 5 minutes It will be over" it may calm you down a bit. Talk to you're doctor about Social Anxiety and he will suggest something to do about it. I hope I helped you!  

Answer 9

Slight social anxiety disorder. I'm sure you already knew that though, since you mentioned the fact that you're self conscious and don't like people like five times.

You're fine.