Is this normal for Children in daycare?

Question

Ok I have two girls age 2 and 13mo. I started working for the first time since my 2 year old was 6mo in July from July until mid Aug We had our neighbors daughters watching them but they just started school again so I had to find daycare. The one I Loved didn't have an opening for my 13mo old but my second choice did. Unfortunately I waited to long to sign my 2 year old up (But we are on the waiting list for both kids but there is most likely a wait for a year) I ended up putting my children in the second choice. My 2 year old started on Tuesday and not only loves it but hasn't had one accident since (she's only been potty training for 2 weeks) My 13mo old started on Thursday. I haven''t noticed any change in my 2 year olds behavior other than a little rougher play than usual with her sister. I noticed tonight (Friday) that my 13mo old was rolling around on the floor throwing a fit (almost looked like break dancing) My 2 year old is very bright and can answer questions correctly I asked her (like i have all week about daycare) if other kid/babies did that. She nodded her head and said night night (which means nap) It kind of worries me beacues she has always just walked away from me when i've said no or won't let her have something she wants she has never thrown a fit. My kids have never been in daycare or anything along those lines Other than the month my neighbors (Which they love and I love) watched them neigher has been out of my site for more than 2 hrs. I desperately need to work (just the time off has hurt us financially) and I honestly need a break from my kids. Am i overreacting or is this picking up of behavior normal. Also Since thursday my 13mo old wants nothing to do with me and only wants her dad (she was breastfeed until Aug and has always cried within seconds of being in her fathers arms)

I know the daycare is a little short staffed right now (one person is moving and another is sick) but They have had the 1year olds and 2 year olds in the same room (i don't mind to much beacues my daughters are together) and the one's that are watching the kids seem a little hazy in the mornings and has never asked any questions about the kids.

Answer 1

to be honest my daughter is 3 and i would be a little worried i am a stay at home mom now but when she was first born i went back to work right away i had her on a friday and worked the next saturday i never sent her to a daycare she was always watched by my husbands nice who is 21 now and i think i would look into another day care if the people arn't awake and asking you questions about your kids they are at work and should act like it because if they act like that when you are there then what are they doing when you arnt there

Answer 2

Hey there...

First, I would say that you need to instigate conversation with the teachers in the mornings...and when you pick them up, too.  In the mornings, tell them things like that so and so is a little crabby this morning or the other one didn't sleep well last night, that kind of thing.  Lots of time in the morning they're trying to get their paperwork filled out, greet the kids and keep things under control...and, yeah, like us they're probably still a bit sleepy.  Ask them if they're tired, try to develop rapport with them.  I'm not saying they aren't dropping the ball but it is both of your responsibility...if they aren't going to pick up their end then you'll need to give them a little push by starting it.

At the end of the day, ask how their day was, ask for specifics like what they learned that day, did they nap, did they have a time out.  Not only will this show the teachers that they need to be on their game with you, a caring parent, and not only will it develop rapport with them...but it'll give you lots of things to talk about with your children about how their day went.  ie: SO, you learned all about the animals in the sea today...I like the sea horse, which one was your favorite animal?  That kind of thing... :)

Second, YES, it's totally normal for your little ones to pick up habits from other kids at school.  Teachers can't change the fact that some kids throw fits...that is a behavior that some parents allow...and they probably do what they can to stop those children but it won't stop yours from witnessing it.  What I do in that situation is use it as a learning experience...I ask her, as you did, if the kids at school do that and then I go on to explain that it is naughty behavior and won't be tolerated.  If she "fights back" by saying well, so and so did it...I tell her I'm not so and so's mommy, I'm HER mommy and MY rule is that it is naughty...and that she WILL get punished for that behavior.  

It would be great if our kids didn't see behavior in order to learn it that we don't like...but they are going to...either now or in 'real' school....so the only thing we can do is point it out as examples of what NOT to do...

With my daughter: We were in walmart and this boy started to throw a fit...a boy that looked about TEN YEARS old...about something he couldn't have.  He was with both parents.  My daughter saw this and said something like, "Mommy, he's throwing a fit, that's naughty!"  The mother overheard and said, "What did you say??  Say that again!"  Worried, I said, "I'm sorry, it's just that I teach her not to do that and she's just three so she doesn't mean any offense..."  The mom said, "NO...I LOVE IT..." then called her son and husband back over and told Megan, "Say that again..."  She did and then the mother said to her son, "She's what?  3?  And even SHE knows you're acting like a baby!!"  So talking about it with Megan really did help Megan to recognize bad behavior.  So maybe you can give that a try...

Hope it helps.  Good luck to you and take good care! :):)