Is this normal for a 4 year old??

Question

My 4 1/2 year old daughter about 3 weeks ago nearly drowned and was in the hospital for about a week. But she does not remember anything about the day of her accident. She does remember being in the hospital, and knows the reasoning behind it. It just does not seem to phase her, and I just want to know if this is normal for a 4 year old as she doesn't remember so doesn't really mean anything to her??

I got thinking this as I am putting her and her twin sister in swim lessons, they start in a few weeks. And I told them yesterday, and my daughter that witnessed everything was just quiet and did not comment on the lessons. Which I understand as she has been very shaken up by this. But my other daughter told she did not need them, that she knew how to swim. Well I explained to her why she needed to them, and the even the Olympic swimmers have trainers, as we have been watching a lot of the Olympics. Well she was very excited by this and can't wait to go to her lessons. And I mean I am scared to death for their first lesson, but it needs to be done.

But because she doesn't remember, but knows what happen, be why she isn't phased by getting back into the water??

Thanks!

Answer 1

Because she's only 4 and a half! Kids don't remember everything...some do, some don't. My little sister doesn't remember falling off the chair and biting through her bottom lip at all.

You also have to remember that when you drown, your body isn't getting enough oxygen. More importantly, your brain isn't. Since she's young, she probably passed out after she started to drown, and thus can't remember. So long as she came out OK, then it's fine. Some people don't remember falling and hitting their head, but as long as they receive medical attention and aren't concussed, it really doesn't matter. Kids are more apt to remember things like dog bites because they generally don't pass out. Your other little girl is scared because she remembers (since she saw everything, and obviously didn't black out) and she's probably afraid that it could happen to her.

Just reassure the one that IS scared that someone will be with her and she's in no danger. Meanwhile, be grateful the other one isn't traumatized rather than wondering if she's 'normal' or not because she isn't afraid of the water.

Answer 2

She's probably forgotten for now. It's called Repression.  It'll pop up later in life or sometimes when she's near a body of water or pool. Whichever she drowned in. Or she may be afraid of water now...

Answer 3

small kids forget more easily some times, and the bi effect of things may have hurt her memory, instead of worrying so you may pass it on to her, be happy she havent goten a phobia

Answer 4

Well, it's really probably better that she doesn't remember. Any kind of traumatic event like that could leave her with serious psychological issues if she did remember it. I would just remind her that she did get hurt because she was not being safe around the water and that she always needs an adult with her, especially if she insists that she can swim just fine...but I'm sure you won't be leaving her at the pool any time soon anyways.

I'm so happy to hear that she is ok. As hard as it's going to be for you, it's a great idea to put them in lessons. Just make sure it doesn't make them overconfident... remind them often of the danger of swimming without an adult. Good luck to all of you and God bless!

Answer 5

She is young and maybe GOD is protecting her from the bad experience by totally filtering out the incident.  Maybe swimming is a big piece of her puzzle, not quite sure.

But my recommendation would be to not panic and invoke any trauma towards her mind, it's kinda like if a child falls really hard (no injury tho) and you kinda pause to see if the child will cry and they don't because you don't react.  Same here, don't react too hysterically and it will be ok.  I know you will still have that worry but she is brave, very brave and you gotta live life.  

Glad she made it ok.  

Answer 6

Because of the age of the indecent, and the trauma suffered, it has been repressed subconsciously and she will need a psychiatrist later on.  

Answer 7

It is for a 4 year old because it was so shocking to her that she's trying to forget about it by not thinking of it

Answer 8

Well how did she almost drown? Maybe she hit her head and got knocked out and sometimes when you get knocked out, everything becomes fuzzy and hard to remember. Tell me the reason for drowning then i can help you more. 4 year olds are very clumbsy and its probably just her falling or something. She might just be brave for going back in the water. You should congradulate her but next time watch her swimming to see if shes swimming well to see if she needs a instructer.

Answer 9

well i got stitches like 6 times when i was a small kid and i dont remember why i spose its just a little kid thing :\

Answer 10

Although I can't compare myself to a 4 year old I also had a near death experience.  I too had very little memory of the incident.  Pieces would come back to me as the weeks and months past.  I wasn't scared of what happened, more curious and began asking lots of questions to those close to me.  I personally feel that it may be the bodies way of protecting itself.  Letting it come back slowly was not traumatic at all.  I'm more concerned by your daughter that witnessed the event.  Since she has the memory she may have a fear of seeing her sister enter the pool.  As long as you will be watching the lesson you may want to try the What's Mommy's job? line.  I tell this one to my 5 year old when ever she is nervous or anxious about anything.  Mommy's job is first to protect you, then to take care of you and always to love you.  It seems to make my daughter feel secure and gives her some confidence.  I wish you the best of luck with the lessons and I thank God that your little girl is OK.

Answer 11

Its underneath. When she see the water she may react. If not thats great for her!!! Your other daughter that witnessed it needs couseling and slow understanding of it. She needs told over that its not water it that she could not swim. So if you learn to swim the water can be fun. Good luck and remember the kids may later seem to be over it. But even in years the one might not like water as an adult. Alls you can do is keep working with it. No matter how hard do not quit taking them. Other people may watch and wonder why. just explain it!!! Good luck!!!!

Answer 12

I want to start by saying God Bless your baby! I know that must have been traumatic for you!

I think maybe it's some kind of coping mechanism, I've heard sometimes kids cope with things by blocking them out, which is probably better than her being scarred for life and petrified of the water!

Also I want to add that's a wonderful idea putting them in swimming lessons, I've been wanting to do that with my daughter and now I think I will!!

Good Luck!

Answer 13

Hi!

Did your daughter go into coma for a short while?Because if she was in coma then she wouldn't remember.Actually I don't think a four year old would remember what happened.Maybe she was scared or just traumatized by what happened. Ask your family doctor why she didn't remember her almost drowning.The doctor could have the answer to that.Maybe it would help if you took her to a councilor. For a four year old it is very likely that she wouldn't remember. It is very good that you are putting her into swimming lessons especially if you have a pool because she can just right out and open the door and fall into the pool this is everyday life we are talking about.

Answer 14

Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal to her. Children are extremely resilient.

Answer 15

she must have blocked it out and may have amnesia.  What does her doctor say about this?  That is good that she is gun-ho about swimming lessons.  She may start remember things little by little.  I wouldn't worry about it .  Her sister would be the one i would be concerned about, it may take her a while to be comfortable going in the water,  Most kids will get hurt doing something and be right back at it 10 min. later.  

Answer 16

That's some ordeal to go through! Usually at that age, children begin to remember about their past lives before the World teaches them otherwise. Keep them kids safe around that water!!!

Answer 17

I think I would be worried about the sister who witnessed it. She is most likely the traumatised one. Don't be suprised if it is her that freaks out  

Answer 18

I don't have kids, but I would make sure that her memory is in fact up to where a 41/2 year olds should be. She could be saying she remembered certain things just because she does not know how to respond to anything like that. I say if she does in fact pass the test that other kids would at her age I would let it pass and not bring it up. It is good that she can keep moving on with her life. It is a blessing that she is still alive. Just make sure that you give all the attention to your other child that is bothered about what happened maybe she needs to seek further help to cope with this. I also believe that it needs to be dealt with teach them the safety while they are in water and try not to bring up the past anymore. While they are kids it will be easier for them to forget and move on.

Answer 19

I took a psychology class and apparently at age 4 the brain is just starting to develop the memory section so that may have something to do with it. I have anemia and when i black out or faint, i usually wake up on the floor wondering how i got there and I'm 18.  

Answer 20

She's only 4 how can she remember that...I bet if it was me I would forget it in one day!!! Hope she is okay

<3

Answer 21

Well because shes so young it didnt really scare her because she doesnt actually remember what happened because she's so small. Don't worry its normal for them to not really understand what happened at that age even if they know it did  

Answer 22

The not remembering could be simply her choosing to not remember. Many adults with phobias do not even know what has initially caused their fears, it's human nature to block negative memories.  (Even rape victims often do not come out bc subconsciously they've  blocked the experience from their minds)