Is this normal - for my Dad to send me an email like this?

Question

"I'm afraid your personality type is described therein as submissive, doubting your abilities, excessively afraid to take a stand, run from challenges, rely on others to fight for them, submit too readily to the will of others and deny themselves the opportunity to experience success and develop their own way out of this situation."

Surely if he thinks I'm that unconfident (which I am a bit, but not that much?), the best thing would be to say some nice things???????? I'm not that much of a loser that I think I deserve this????????

Has anyone else ever had something similar from their parents?

Answer 1

That is just plain rude especially from your dad.  He's one of the people that should be encouraging you not bashing you.  Ask him why he sent this to you.

Answer 2

Ouch. That is pretty harsh coming from a Dad.

If you do, indeed, have some confidence issues, then your father certainly shouldn't be so negative about them. Although, it is quite the possibility that it is due to comments like this that you have a low confidence level. I would suggest responding to his email by asking him to please refrain from putting what could be a positive attribute into such a negative light. Some of the most intelligent, creative, and kind-hearted people in this world are some of the most introverted and appear to lack confidence. You might want to point out to him that it could be thanks to him that you doubt your abilities and rely on others too readily. Remind him that as a father, one of his duties is to help raise up your self-image, not point out what he views as flaws.

And to answer your question, I had some similar problems with my father when I was younger. But after I stood up to him a few times, we had a better understanding of one another and he became much more understanding and helpful.

Answer 3

Which one of these questions above would you honestly answer yes to? If you do answer yes to them, don't get offended...work on the issues.

Sounds as if he is a) a shrink b) very controlling person who is in  a high position at work and with your personality you are not meeting to his standards to walk in his shoes one day C) Cares for you and worried about your future. I don't believe number C, because this would not have come in an email, he would have sat you down in person and asked you what he could do to help you with your confidence.

Most young people who don't have self confidence can be traced by to the parenting, which I see in this situation may be the case. This has nothing to do with his love for you, but everything do with his control issues....

Answer 4

This sounds like one of those lame surveys you take online.

Answer 5

Maybe he was doing a "write a letter about something troubling you but dont send it" maybe he acciedently sent it...

Answer 6

How old are you? Perhaps you are very immature for your age.

Answer 7

you can think whatever you want but please stop f* someone you have such a opinion about. and you wonder why I dont love you. I appear all that, yes, for people like you to get the f' away from me so i can find a person soft and sweet as me in this life without wasting my time on losers like you.  

Answer 8

I have an acquaintance in his 50s who is fighting with his daughter and publishes their emails in his MySpace blog.  I think it's disgusting.  It makes him look like a total ******.  His writing style is not at all unlike what you have posted.  I wonder if it's the same guy.

I have yet another friend in his 60s who fights with his daughter via email.  I think it's deplorable.

People!  Once you hit SEND you can't take it back!

Let's not be ***** to one another via email!

Answer 9

He's just disappointed that you arent confident.  He's trying to point out the weaknesses you need to work on to be a confident adult.  He loves you!

Answer 10

Well, it may not be normal. But, I also don't consider it as bashing you, or him trying to belittle you. It sounds like maybe he's trying to tell you where you're going wrong, what you need to do to change the things that you do that aren't healthy.

Dad wouldn't happen to be a therapist would he? If so it isn't uncommon for them to analyze their children/spouses or other family members.

Answer 11

Every parent wants their child to be perfect. heck i get that from my mom everyday, and that's not even on e-mail, she says it face to face except its about how she thinks I'm too messy and dirty. Do you think your a bit

unconfident yourself? Try to be confident at least in front of him. It'll make him proud.