Is this normal for the bride to decide? ?

Question

My sister's son is getting married this December. The bride to be wants both mothers to wear navy blue dresses and has chosen the ones she wants.

The mother of the bride is actually a step mother, so that may make things different

Both mothers (my sister and stepmom) hate the dresses and have told the bride this. She says that it is her wedding and things will be her way or no way.

Isn't there a way for the bride to at least agree to letting them chose their own dresses? The color is not an issue as much as it is the the style of the dress they dislike.

These women are older (in their late 50's) and are not trying to upstage the bride.

I know bridesmaids are usually stuck with what the bride wants, but are thoughts and opinions of others never considered?

Answer 1

She should not be telling the moms what to wear.That is just rude.

Answer 2

usually she picks or has a say in the color....  but I've never heard of the bride forcing the moms to wear certain dresses. Sounds to me like she has gone overboard on this one.  I don't really know what you could do in this situation, but maybe the mothers can try and sit her down and have a talk with her and suggest the same color but different dresses and offer to let her approve them before they order them?  That way she'll still feel in control and they wont have to wear the ugly dresses...

Answer 3

BRIDEZILLA for sure. She is very selfish. It's not just her wedding but her grooms as well. Let the mom's choose their own dresses. They can agree on the color. If she wants to throw a hissy fit if it isn't her way. She will risk spoiling her entire wedding day. Maybe the mom's should boycott. :)

Answer 4

I have never heard of this, and I am not planning on doing this, but the way I see it the mothers have had their weddings already, let her have her day.  If she wants them to wear ugly dresses it's her pictures that they will be in, and after all, it's only one day they have to wear them.  Things will probably go a lot easier with this bride, from the sound of it, if they just let her have her day.

Answer 5

I have never heard of required dresses for the mothers of the bride and groom before.  I understand if she wants a specific color since they will be in photos and all, but I do not think it is right to require a specific dress.  

Perhaps they can go to the store they have the one she wants and look at the others from the same line and see if there is something more appropriate for them that they can compromise with??

Answer 6

This bride is being a tad selfish and self-centered.  Normally she wants it to be a certain color, and that's fine because it's often picked to match the wedding colors.  However since the step-mother of bride and mother of the groom would be wearing matronly clothes anyways, the bride should deal and let them modify it.

Answer 7

I think that's ridiculous.  When I got married in May, all I asked of my mom and my mother-in-law was that the dresses they wore not be white, ivory, or black.  I think the mothers should be able to wear a dress in a style AND color they find flattering.

Answer 8

tell the bride to take a chill pill

and let the moms wear a navy colored

dress to their liking

Gee, it's like she's the 1st bride

or something

Answer 9

Generally the color is suggested, so it matches either the wedding colors or at least simply compliments the colors. But I've never really heard of the bride picking out the dress. Of course, sometimes it is purchased with the bridesmaid dresses, so the bride has input, and perhaps even the styles work well together, but for her to randomly pick something out and demand it seems a tad harsh. They should sit down and talk to her, and perhaps the groom as well, if they have issues with it. Otherwise, they'll need to stick it out for her. . . .  

Answer 10

This is one of those Bridezilla brides and she scares me!  I've never been to a wedding where the Moms' all wore the same dress.  I thought it was to tell them what color you wanted then let them go purchase their dress on their own.  

I guess if the bride purchases the dress for them, it would be a different story.  Make comment that she needs to check "tradition" with her Bride Magazines, other married couples, and the opinion of her friends..with honesty.  Either that or you two Mom's can conspire on the side and pick comfortable dresses in the navy color.  

Good Luck, you'll definitely need it with this one!  

Answer 11

The mothers can wear whatever they want. The bride can't tell grown women, especially her mother and mother-in-law, what to wear, even on her wedding day. What is she going to do, refuse to let them into the church?

They should tell the bride, "Sweetheart, we love you. But these dresses are awful and we're not wearing them. We will pick out something tasteful in navy blue or another neutral color on our own. You have enough to worry about."

And then should proceed to wear whatever they want.

Answer 12

That's a bit overdoing it I would think!  I know brides suggest colors so that the colors in the photos wont clash but one color and the actually dresses are crazy.  

they need to tell her that the dresses dont work for them and letting them choose with her help may work better and make everyone happy!  

Answer 13

  its a little selfish.  like, for real, i wouldnt dream of telling my mother or future mother in law what they had to wear.  i might specify color if i had some sort of color scheme in mind, but i would NEVER go as far as to pick it out for them.  

  both women involved should just talk to her son about it and see if there is any way you can pick out your own. besides, im assuming there are going to be guests that havent met these ladies before, how is anyone gonna be able tell them apart if they are both wearing the same outfit?

  and yeah, watch bridezillas. its on the WE channel alll the time and is great for a wedding related laugh

Answer 14

I think that dictating which dress the mothers wear is waaay too controlling.  Definitely a bridezilla thing.

Since color is not an issue, the mothers can agree to wear navy blue, but only in a dress of their choosing.  If the bride throws a fit, oh well, she'll get over it.

Answer 15

Grown women get to choose their own attire. If your sister wants to be charitable, she could choose a few outfits and tell her daughter to choose her favourite. But, it's certainly not required or expected. As long as she isn't wearing white and isn't too flashy, it should be fine.

Answer 16

Sounds like a classic case of BRIDEZILLA!! Have you ever watched that show?  I think the bride has a say so in the color scheme, but should allow the M.O.B and the M.O.G to pick out their own dresses.  There should be some sort of compromise.  However, you can't make someone be reasonable.. so the best route to take in this situation is the high road.

Answer 17

Wow. She sounds a bit young, immature, and selfish...the bride that is. I told my mom if she wanted to match wedding colors, she could, but she has had a hard time finding a dress, so I told her just to find something she likes and feels beautiful in!

Answer 18

I have never heard of THAT before! It's kind of odd usually. Most mother's of the bride or groom go with something that will complement the service. Like wearing a shade of her colors, or going with a neutral color. I have never heard of a bride PICKING out their dresses, unless SHE is buying them, she should have little say on what they buy. What a pickle! I think this could go either way, they can go along with it to keep the peace or just be honest and tell her that while they appreciate what she is trying to do they prefer to make their own selection, and will do so with her wishes in mind. If they don't take a stand with this kind of stuff now, what will the bulldoze them with in the future!?!