Is this normal teenage behaviour?

Question

I'm worried about my daughter she's 14 and recently she seems quiet and detached. I tried to talk to her about it and she burst into tears saying that she had no friends because she was ugly and stupid and today she seemed to have completely forgotten about it. Is this normal?

Answer 1

I wouldn't call it 'normal' but teens go through all sorts of phases, emotions alike because of hormonal changes. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just reassure her that you will always be there for her.

Answer 2

I'm concerned about the suggestions that she might be cutting herself.  Nothing you said in your post suggests that she's self harming, although some teenagers do cut themselves.

Maybe she seemed better today because you talked to her and she feels better.  You did good!  Keep talking to her.  It's hard for teenagers to tell their parents how they're feeling, but at the same time they often need the support.  If she can count on you for a listening ear she'll be a bit more secure.

Good luck!

Answer 3

It may just be a mood-swing, but she could be depressed. All teenagers feel bad about themselves at some point, but if she's saying she has no friends then she may be having problems with bullying. Ask her about it, but not in a confrontational way, as that could just upset her more.

Answer 4

(She might be cutting herself which is being called "emo" or gothic). Try telling her that you love her more often; because right now that's what she needs is love. Tell her she can come to you for anything. You'll always be there and etc. She might not seem to accept it and start looking for love from other peers.(boys). Being a teenager is just so hard not to sound like oh pity us like it's some kind of show but it just can be.

Being a parent of a teen is hard too. I cant imagine it.

God Bless

HNS

Answer 5

yeah its normal. we go through stages like that but if it gets worse get her help.

Answer 6

i wouldn't say it's completely 'normal'...

but teenagers have a reputation for... well... phases ?

i'd give it a while and keep an eye on her, the probable outcome is that she'll be fine

Answer 7

Unfortunately yes.  Just stick with her, and try to do things with her.  Try to get her involved in clubs at school where she can meet people with similar interests.  Teen girls go through a roller coaster of emotions sometimes all within an hour time period.  She may start saying very mean things to you, if your her mom, don't take them personally.  Teen girls seem to know just the right thing to say to bring their mom to tears.  This is a phase like any other phase your children go to, like the terrible twos, only more verbal.  Stay Strong, this too shall pass.

Answer 8

It's not normal and probably it's a teenagers phases. It really seems weird that she has forgotten about that. talk to her if she remembers what happened yesterday. Keep an eye on her and find out if she does have any friends.

Answer 9

Yes and don't bring it up. Or she might cry again.

Answer 10

yeah teenage girls are like that :P thats perfectly normal

she is growing up now so her hormones are all over the place :)

Answer 11

It's normal. Don't bring it back up to her to keep her from getting upset again, but do tell her that if she needs to talk that she can go to you whenever she needs to.

Answer 12

It's her hormones, yes this is perfectly normal. One day they can feel down and the next feel happy. Just reassure her people care and she is not ugly, but if she is happy don't mention the previous day when she was not so.

♥ Kimmiii

Answer 13

Sometimes. She has not forgotten about it but she does not want you  to make a big deal of it. While you are out for a meal or running errands something geared toward attention to her you can express your concern about her upset and she may open up. I have boys so I do not see tears I see anger then calm and then anger so sometimes I wait and find out they feel the same way the girls do, lost unimportant, not fitting in and yes even the most popular kids feel like they do not fit. Of course this does not always work but good luck and do not back off too much- she still needs you.

Answer 14

Is anything really normal when you are teenager?  At this point in time, with all the knowledge we have of personality and behavior everything is starting to seem normal.

--

I would try talking to her again.  Since she is feeling this way, and is willing to talk about it, help her out.  You don't want her to go down the wrong path.  Do whatever you can to prevent it.  

If she says that it really isn't a big deal when you try to talk to her again accept that but keep an eye on her and try to talk to her again if her troubling behavior continues.

Answer 15

Certainly within normal limits. Not all teenagers do this but a great many do. Just keep an eye out and see how often this is happening. If it becomes fairly constant, thats a *possible* worry.

It's hormones, they cause horrific mood swings for a few years, which can cause teenagers (of both sexes) to act pretty erratically.

Answer 16

Teenagers are notorious for making each other feel bad about anything and everything. She has to come to the realization, one way or another, that none of it really matters. Remember, most everyone makes it past high school. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Answer 17

she might be cutting her self.......

Answer 18

Oh my goodness!  If I had a penny for every time my son said similar, I'd be a very rich woman by now!

Yes it's perfectly normal for teenagers to feel like that.  It's hormonal.  

Grit your teeth, stick with it and be prepared for a lot more of the same!  You have my greatest sympathy as I'm in a similar position.

Good luck.

*SL

Answer 19

I went through this. I just had to grow out of it. Its a time in your life that you are trying to find your place and figure out who you are. Just let her know how much you love and care about her.