Is this poem good as is, or should i add more to it?

Question

Death & Dissapear

far from where your god can hear.

pain, then silence

too long you've bathed in violence.

Answer 1

That's pretty good. I'de add like one more verse to it though. it's a little short but that's up to you

Answer 2

its too short, but so far so awesome, i luv it!!! just the way i like it!!! anger, sad, and just black!!!! super! im gonna put this on my myspace! lol

Answer 3

Does it run red ?

Or our hopes just fled

Is full of sorrow?

I hope I see the light for tomorrow,

Answer 4

I like it, a lot. But I would change the first word to die, it makes it flow a little better. Thanks.

Answer 5

I'm not entirely sure if you're trying to say "Death and Despair" or "Death and Disappear"

It ends rather abruptly, you should also edit it for spelling and grammar.

Also to be completely honest, it's very much cliched.  

Answer 6

i like it :)

it makes people curious.

Answer 7

It needs something extra. Perhaps as little as one line.

Answer 8

its a punt... punt it far

Answer 9

Wow, that was interesting. Nice work!

Your atmosphere is clear to your readers, and we are allowed to understand exactly what is going on. Good job.

It's a great poem, and the thing so intriguing about it is the mood you've set. I think you can make this poem a lot better if you didn't have to rhyme, because the mood can attract the readers' attention on its own. But it's your choice.

Great poem! Very interesting. =D

Answer 10

add two more rhyming couplets

Answer 11

boo hoo

i am so goth i bleed black.

go cry yourself to sleep

Answer 12

I would add 1 more line (that doesn't rhyme with any of the previous ones) to round it out. It's interesting.