Question:

Is this poem good or bad?

by  |  earlier

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It's my first non-rhyming poem

Title either "Stupid young girl" or "Sunburn"

Stupid young girl

forgot to wear sunscreen.

Mind blurred and uncontrolled

as she stumbes around.

Blazing hot sun

shines his rays on her skin.

Her young, innocent body

becoming burned with his tricks.

Burning the exterior

attempting to get inside.

Taking advantage of her stupidity,

no sunscreen, faint mindedness.

"Get away!" she screams.

But her words are slurred.

He hears, but won't listen;

moves in on his prey.

Skin turning red,

becoming pain with his burn.

Radar flashing

screaming "Get out of the sun!"

Hiding away in the shade,

awaiting it to set.

Mind clearing, words becoming clear.

Dark burn still stinging.

Stupid naive girl

let the sun take her pale.

No longer pure and untouched,

but used and corrupt.

Stupid young girl

forgot to wear sunscreen.

Skin burning with sin,

from the insensetive sun.

Never got inside,

burn slowly fading.

Sooting dark all around,

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3 ANSWERS


  1. wierd.....


  2. I think it has very good, but sad meaning. It sounds very good but it makes me sad. VERY VERY GOOD THOUGH

  3. this is a good poem and its pretty funny

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