Is this poem ok, be honest?

Question

I see the air bubbling around me

The mirror images drift by and by

Blurriness is all I see

I am floating up, up towards the sky

Everything looks better from far away

At last I can finally fly

My wings outstretch as I look ahead

The freedom is outstanding

But then it dawns on me, I am dead

Answer 1

its ok

Answer 2

It's a rather abrupt finish and the rhythm is jerky, but it's an amusing idea.

Answer 3

i absolutely love it becasue its full of depth and emotion and its making us see that death isnt ll that bad, a dream a fantasy... being lifted up by the angels entering a white fantasy... its also lovely becasue its divided into three litlle stazas consitsting of 3 lines each. also you have rymed lines 1 and 3 and it is full of feeling and i love the language and descriptiveness...  

Answer 4

the first and third stanza suck

you need to work on them more

Answer 5

i like it , it dosnt suck, it was what you were feeling at the time, dont change it for no critic!!! write some more