Is this poem pretty good?

Question

i sit here waiting.

to find where you are

i've searched forever

i've looked near and far

i see your face when i wake up

and smell your scent through the day

i hear you voice at night

when im crying and i'm not okay.

i can feel you near me

even though theres no one there

i can feel you hold me

even though theres no one to care

i smile at your face

i cry when your memory fades

i laugh when i hear you joke

though i hide my emotions behind the shades

i cannot sleep

without you here

i cannot live

without you to care

even though i've been without you

and it seems like i can't go on

i'll just put on that fake smile

and remember theres darkness before the dawn.

Answer 1

first the bad and then the good.

everything up until the last line has been said before in a poem or a song.

the good, Everything on this earth has been done before, felt before, or experienced before..... therefore the emotions that brought forth these words can search deeper to find the feelings and describe them in another way whether by metaphor or just true gritty expression. i believe you can dig deeper to express this message and turn out an excellent poem

Answer 2

This poem reads with a soft voice, like a child's whisper, but the emotions are blunt, straight forward, deep, and crimson with despair.

You took the over-used, cliche, of longing for the lover who momentary leaves and brought a new-glory and originality to it.

Stanza 5 line 4 should be,

"with out your care." Sounds better.

And where is the punctation, miss?

I give this poem a

9/10

Answer 3

Beautiul and obviously heartfelt. What does not kill you makes you stronger. Peace!

Answer 4

nah its like this poem i wrote back in 6th grade, almost i dentical, anyways its very amature. sleezy, but keep trying

Answer 5

I really really like it. I think the presentation is really good. Isn't much I would say to make it better. I think it is just beautiful the way it is! = )

Would you mind checking out a few of mine? Please?

http://www.authspot.com/Poetry/Youll-Nev...

http://www.authspot.com/Poetry/Just-Brea...