Is this proposal I made good??? It is to create a high school club concerning animals????

Question

Animal Allies

Although ____ High School has created many successful clubs that appeal to students, there lacks a club that involves aiding animals. Animals face devastating overpopulation and the student body should be informed of how to help bring it to an end. With animals being such a big part of people’s lives, it is time to give back to animals and help find caring homes for them. This club can also fundraise and then provide money and supplies to local animals shelters. Animal Allies would be a club that teaches students how to care for animals and educate them on issues dealing with animals such as animal cruelty and fighting fur.

Purpose:

-Assist homeless animals find loving homes.

-Support a local animal organization that helps homeless pets such as directly volunteering at the shelter or adoption shows, organizing a supply collection, or holding a fund-raiser.

-Create awareness to stop overpopulation of cats and dogs, animal cruelty, and fur production.

Answer 1

It's a great cause and a smart one because high school students should be able to help a great deal by more than giving money.

That said, I have some suggestions for your proposal.

1. Get someone to proofread your piece for errors and stylistic problems.

2. You say that overpopulation is the major problem but barely address that in your purpose.

3. "Give back" is a cliche and doesn't really fit here.

4. Under your purposes, the first and second are too much alike.

5. Since the homeless animals aren't looking on their own, you aren't assisting them to find homes. You're assisting them BY finding homes.

Answer 2

Is there an agriculture place in the High School?

You would have to have a place and permission that the Principal

and other officials would approve. Or maybe they could

use a section in the high school that is appropiate?

Your idea is a great one but the officials in the high school

will make the final decision if it is practical for your

High School.

Ruth B