Is this punishment too harsh for my teenage daughter?

Question

My daughter is 17 and last night she asked me to go to the movies with one of her friends (whose mother allowed her to go) at 12. After I directly told her no, she ignored me and sneaked out anyway. For punishment I didn't take away any of her things but I am not going to buy her any new clothes for back to school (she will be a senior next year). She is a good girl (no previous behavior problems), does well in school, and we usually get along but last night she totally shattered my trust. Do you think an alternative punishment might be better?

Planet 416's answer:

hey... you were never 17? instead of punishing her, sit down and talk to her about trust and responsibility and why you worry. then go buy her the clothes. back to school is a big deal and yes, that would be too harsh. instead, make her stay home for X days, or make her do some chores. children SHOULD be encouraged to rebel. they should also be taught that you get screwed if you get caught! parenting isn't all about you or about winning or losing. it's about teaching and preparing for life. you should secretly be proud that your daughter has the courage to go for what she wants rather than submitting blindly to authority, even if it is yours. don't let your ego bruise harm your child's natural development.

Answer 1

i think it"s wrong of to punish her like this, do you want her to go to school like a scruff ? do you want her to be teased about her clothes, so she might want to quite school ? i think not. yes she has betrayed you trust and MUST BE PUNISHED but this is not the way, as she is 17 she is almost an adult so why not punish her like a adult lock her up for a saturday or weekend no tv no phone no computer, just boredom , explain to her why shes being punished then escort her to her room lock her in and tell her she stays their for the rest of the day.get her to wright an essay on trust while shes locked up good luck.