Is this "writing" good?

Question

its not a poem but i dont know what it is i just started writing...is it...ok?

The Darkness

As she looked into the shadows

The darkness loomed around her

She felt the walls closing in

The cold metal stung against her arm

She dropped the knife

For she knew it wasn’t the solution

Tears flooded her eyes

She gasped for air, but got nothing

The walls slowly fading,

The floor started to fall

She tried to run, scream for help

But instead sat there motionless

Her body unable to move

Sobs echoed through the empty room

She wanted to hurt someone

Even kill, but no one was there

She reached for the knife in a desperate attempt

But just fell to the floor, numb

The tears pouring down her face

She wished for someone to hear her cries

To come to her, embrace her in their arms

Whisper words of comfort in her ear

But she knew no one would come

No one could hear her cries through the darkness

And the plea for help echoed on in a dark and lifeless world

Answer 1

Whoa. I'm impressed. I actually felt really bad for her. There was so much emotion in that, and I know anyone who reads it will feel it too, so good job. You should write more. Good writing talent is hard to come by these days.

And I liked how you wrote. Something about your writing was honest and true. That's very rare nowadays.

Answer 2

It looks like verse prose to me (like the book I Heart You, You Haunt Me by Lisa Schroeder, I think that's her name).  It's really good, though if you were aiming for slightly disturbing, you definitely got it.

Answer 3

it's really good.

it sounds like the poems that don't rhyme but have plenty of emotion.it's insanely good and can apply to anyone who has ever felt alone.