Is this reason enough for a divorce?

Question

I (we) am saving up to buy a house. I (we) put $10,000 in a CD account about 6 months ago. Four months ago my wife went to the bank and took out the money (paying the penalty), behind my back without telling me. When I went to withdraw the money, there was no money in there.

I asked my wife about it. She said that she withdrew it for private personal reasons. She would not tell me what. As far as I know, she has no drug or booze habits. Otherwise our relationship is normal.

Is this a strong enough reason to divorce her? Or should I forget and forgive and live normally?

Of course, I will make my final decision. But your opinion will be valuable

thanks

Answer 1

If she doesn't tell you the complete truth, yes.  Marriage is built on trust and if you can't trust her, best that you know now, before she causes more damage to you, financially or emotionally, or worse, to any kids.

Answer 2

You gotta find out what her reason was for taking the money.Is she into gambling?Only then can you decide what your going to do.It depends on how much you love her,will you be able to maybe not forget but forgive what she did & why?Like you said,it's your decision & your the one who's going to have to live with it.

Answer 3

Marriage is about respect and trust. She needs to respect your boundaries and you need to return the respect. Both of you should be open and forth comming with financial decisions.  Try couseling, fiancial and couples.

Answer 4

What the heck! She took mutual money for her own personal reasons...that just ain't gonna fly. You are entitled to know why she took the money and you need to know why before you make any decision.  

Answer 5

Oh h**l to the no she would have to tell me something dude you can't trust that she may do it again and again no way.

Answer 6

   It is something I would tell her about. If you can't trust your wife, who can you trust?

   Make the point to her how she would feel if you had done that. If she doesn't come clean, I would ask her to leave.

Answer 7

That is a lot of money for "private personal reasons".

I would demand to know what the reason was. If she fails to tell you then you are in big trouble. She stole money from the household and did not even allow you the courtesy of telling you about it until you went to the bank to withdraw the cash.

This seems to be only the tip of the iceberg.

  

Answer 8

First off if she needed money she should talk to you first about it especially if she was going to dip in the account. It shouldn't be for private reasons; how much private can it be? Maybe there is something she isn't telling you and you need to find out if you want work this out. If she doesnt  work she was probably afraid to ask you for some money because she probably thought you would say no.This just shows you, you can't trust her right now concerning money, you should forgive regardless, sit down and talk to her. If she playing around and not tell you get firm and let her know you didnt appreciate at all of what she did and you NEED to know what she did with the money that YOU saved to buy a house.

Good luck

Answer 9

I would want a darn good explanation for this one!!  I think she has quite a problem and yes it is  a strong enough reason to divorce her.  What she did would make me feel betrayed and so hurt.  How dare her!!!

Answer 10

I think you should at least find out why she got the money before you divorce her. The fact that she did it behind your back was wrong. Maybe she got the money out to buy a surprise for you. I would at least find out what it was for then make your decision. Good luck!  

Answer 11

Your wife does owe you an explanation. this is a major violation of trust and you have every reason to be concerned regarding her character and your future risks.

Your wife may have a Nobel reason for using the money but she owes you an accounting of where the money went.  By law, in your marriage you are responsible and accountable for your wife's behavior.

If you are looking for a reason for divorce, this is serious symptom of lack of trust, respect and future risk.  If she does not trust you with her explanation and you do not trust her secretive behavior there isn't much value in your marriage.

Good Luck To You

Answer 12

First of all, the issue at hand is the fact that your wife went behind your back and had no regards for you our the marriage you both share.  What she did was totally wrong, without a doubt - she should had talked to you about it, explain the situation and you as a couple should have made the decision of taking the money out of that account.

This is in essence only the tip of the iceberg - it looks like you don't communicate and when that is the case, it is very difficult to make a marriage work.  I would talk to her, give her a chance to come clean and if she refuses to tell you how she used that communal asset, then it will be up to you to make the next move.  I would try counseling first though, see if things improve, but quite honestly, I'm sure that now you have serious doubts (justifiably so) about her love and commitment to you and your marriage; she has broken that trust that is essential to make a marriage work and things will be a lot more difficult from now on.

That doesn't necessarily mean that you can't make work, however, please keep in mind that without her full disclosure on this situation and her willingness to work on this issue - your marriage doesn't stand a chance.  Just remember, it takes two to make a marriage work.  Good luck!  

Answer 13

Well, it depends on if you want to spend your life with someone who is deceptive and secretive??

A marriage is a partnership. She took it upon herslef to withdrawl money that belonged to the BOTH of you and now she offers no explanation....??

I would be demanding answers and - if you feel this is marriage is worth saving, get into counseling.

I wish you luck....Never settle for less that you deserve.

Answer 14

I wouldn't say jump to divorce right away, but it sounds like a reason to at least get counciling for yourselves. She may not have a booze or drug habit, but could she have used it for gambling? I mean $10,000 is a hard thing to spend just for personal reasons.  

Answer 15

I don't know if that is reason enough for divorce but I'd be pretty mad - especially since she won't tell you why.  But if it was half her money then I guess she was entitled to half.  Sounds like a great lack of communication and trust on her part not to come to you in the first place and discuss her issue.  

Answer 16

The money in th bank was supposed to be for a house not personal reasons, so she really didn't have a right to take it out without talking it over with you first!! What personal reason would have cost $10,000??? and then you said you were going to take the money out!! Was it for personal reasons also?? or was it for the house?? It dosen't sound like it's reason enough to Divorce her, but you two really need to sit down and talk about your joint accounts and make rules that you should both go by when taking the money out. She owes you an explanation about where the money went, just as well as you would have owed her an explanation about why you were taking the money out. Why were you going to take the money out???? It seems to me that you were going to withdraw the money without telling her?? Maybe she knew or sensed that you were going to do this, that's why she beat you to it!!!! It's not grounds enough for a Divorce, but she could have felt the same way if you would have beat her in taking the money out. You both need to have a good long talk about this money, and then next time you both decide to save for a house, it might be best to each have your own savings account, so this won't happen again. Forget about it, forgive and live normally, and also change the way you both save money for a house. Dosen't sound like your going to be getting this house soon, now all the money is gone. I just hope it was worth it!!! Best of Luck to You!!!

Answer 17

i would be very pissed if my husband took that much money and did not tell me. you should make her tell you why she took it  

Answer 18

You need to know why she took the money. She  is accountable. i would be raging and for me it would be an excuse for a flaming row- is she totally mental? spoilt? princess?    gimme my money back or get the h**l out....

Answer 19

sounds to me like she went and got an abortion without you knowing, maybe it was yours, maybe not.  She either tells you or ask her if she can spell D I V O R C E!!!