Is this reasonable behaviour?

Question

Recently, my mum and dad were trying to relate a story to me, from my childhood, and they were giving out separate details, at a time, then started arguing with each other about when events had taken place, exactly. I was trying to clarify with my mum, exactly what had happened, but she quickly became frustrated with me, saying "she had already told me," but she doesn't realise that the context of the situation, wasn't totally clear. She often does this, when we have conversations, it's like you're totally frustrating to her, even if she hasn't told you all the details.

Answer 1

I just find it's best to shut up and wait for them to notice you're quietly disturbed by their incessant arguing. What's the point of their argument? Nothing. They're in a bad habit. Don't join in.

Answer 2

Perhaps she told you in a different way than say the

mode that your question later asked her !

I'm not sure if you follow, sometimes grown ups say things

in a way they expect everyone to get !  So a little later along

in the story, you go and ask what she already said ! You see

she gets frustrated, then thinking she has already gone past

this point ..... but actually , your frustrated because to you

you never got that point explained .

Either way it is a no win situation, and yes Adults do this all

the time, you are both at different stages of your lives, you

need to sometimes just let things go.  If it is very important

and you want to get noticed, then stamp your feet or whatever

it takes to get attention, and let your parent know you are old

enough to be respected to be given a clear answer.

Answer 3

Normal? Yes. This is a little something that my parents are good for too.

Reasonable? You're probably not being unreasonable yourself wanting your Mum to be more reasonable.

BUT- the last people we can ever give advice to are, guess who? Those closest to us. All you can do is to use the 'timing is critical' principle. You will know from knowing your Mum exactly when her times for communication are. For my Mum they were never during Desperate Housewives, or when humming. :-/

She was most communicative whenever she was sewing. :-\

The things we know about people!

Anyway, when you sense a time is right to bring it up, then you should try saying exactly what you have said here. You will also know instinctively the right tone, right word choice and what position you should take (standing or sitting) when wanting to show her you need to have a serious heart 2 heart.

Thus, use what you know to be gently assertive, because your feelings do matter.

And I'm inspired to try this with my Dad, now, too. So thank you for the inspiration.

Answer 4

This is an excellent example of the case " there are 2 sides to every story" Listen to both points of view and make your mind which one is the most probable.

Answer 5

Honey this is common among parents, my Inlaws tend to do it all the time, it is very frustrating, and my husband just ends up walking away, and saying "have to go, bye", where as I could sit there and say "why don't you two just get your facts rights and stop all of this bull ****"?

But then, it is not my family, but their stories conflict each others, then they say "I didn't say this, or didn't say that". Uggggg!!!

It is so bloody frustrating.

And I thought it was just my husbands family, that did this.

You poor thing, at least when you get older and have kiddies, always be open to them, and don't be like your own.

Good Luck

Minny :-)

Answer 6

2

Answer 7

She shouldn't freak out like that, thats for sure, but i think that maybe if she decides she wants to argue then maybe when she does that you should just get up and leave, or ignore and be interested in somehting else. Its really a somewhat dumb thing to get "frustrated and mad" over....

best of luck. :)