Is this right? Can you check my grammar and make sure it makes sense?

Question

I have a Korean oral tomorrow from my Korean 2 class. I just wanted to make sure this is good without any errors:

안녕하세요. 제 이름이 자클린 입니다. 먼틴비유 에서 살아요. 먼틴비유 고등학교 다니 하고 삼학녕 이에요. 미국 사람이에요. 제 할머니는 스웨덴에서왔어요. 그리고 조상 영국 하고 프랑스 하고 독일에서 있어요.

동양학 전공 할 거예요. 한국어 참 려워요. 그렇지만 한국어 좋아해요.

학교가 팔월 십팔일에 시작해요. 다음 주 동안 친구가 시간을 보내는하 고 잠자 고 올림픽 볼 거예요.

What I'm trying to say:

Hello. My name is Jaclyn. I live in Mountain view. I attend Mountain view High school and I'm a junior. I'm American. My grandmother came from Sweden. And my ancestors are from England, France, and Germany.

I'm planning on majoring in Asian studies. Korean is very difficult. But I enjoy it.

School starts on August 18. During next week I'm going to spend time with friends, sleep, and watch the olympics.

Answer 1

I think that you should use more commas and less periods,like 'I am ____.I learn in ____.I know___.

Try going "I am Jaclyn,I live in Mountain View where I attend Mountain View High school and I'm a junior"

Answer 2

Great start!  I have a few suggestions for you, which I have pasted below:

Hello. My name is Jaclyn and I live in Mountain View. I attend Mountain View High School where I am a junior. I'm an American, but my grandmother came from Sweden. I also have other ancestors from England, France, and Germany.

School starts on August 18; I am planning on majoring in Asian studies. Korean is very difficult, but I enjoy it.

Next week I'm going to spend time with friends, sleep, and watch the Olympics.

Good luck! Eat some Kim Chee for me!