Is this right for a mother????

Question

my brother is 16 and she still trys to dress him. hes 16 and and little taller than 4 feet he already has enough problems so is it right for my mom to try to dress him the things she puts him in make him look younger and is totally not his style..please if i show my mom this maybe she let loose on him.

Answer 1

If you mean like she actually physically dresses him then the only reason I can think of is that your brother is deficient in some way ,,,, If this is not the case then it's time for your brother to put his foot down to establish some kind of an independence to some degree for himself or Mommy is going to try and expect to dominate his life in ALL areas for the rest of her life and that includes his choice of girlfriends ,,,,I don't know but I'll just bet that he hasn't even looked at girls yet let alone have a girlfriend  ,,,,,

This could get worse before it gets better if he doesn't start doing something now ,,,,If your mother has been doing this with him his whole life then she's most likely going to take offense at anything you show her as to replies to your quarry ,,,,"Sorry Mom but you have to let him grow up" ,,,,

This may or may not be the case here but sometimes some mothers will try to relive their own child hood through that of their children ,,,,If this is the case it's doubtful she's going to change with out some kind of a reconning at some time ,,,, Usually she will not agree with any choice he makes where a girlfriend is concerned ,,,,No girl will be good enough for him as far as she's concerned but it's not so much the girl he chooses but what she represents ,,,, Your mother will see any girl he chooses as a threat to her dominance control and authority over him ,,,, The girl will never be good enough for him and Mom will find reasons to constantly cut her down to him ,,,,

She will use any ploy she can to maintain control even up to and including tears ,,,, Believe me if your brother doesn't  start trying to establish some kind of independence or individuality now he's going to suffer for it later on when he does try to break away ,,,, And a break away in this kind of a situation can and will get ugly ,,,,He has to be allowed to develop and establish his own individuality ,,,,  

Your post indicates that you have some concern about this so I would suggest that if you have any influence with him at all you might start talking to him about this  ,,,, At least warn him so he has time to wake up and consider this and do something about it now before it's too late ,,,,It also depends on his mind set too ,,,, If this has always been going on then he's used to Mom making his decisions for him and she's used to doing it so maybe they both need a wake up call ,,,, Your talking to him may very well be what he needs ,,,, //

Answer 2

No, this isn't right, your brother has a right to dress the way he likes. Talk to your mum about this because it is not fair. She can have her opinion, but can't really change him!

Answer 3

first find out if he wants her help.

if he doesn't ,,,,,,, there is your answer.

Answer 4

Tell your mom that he is 16yrs old, and he is a teenager. He should be able to  pick out clothing that suits him, she need to let him grow up.

Answer 5

he is old enough to decide what clothes to wear.  she needs to stop babying him.  itll be two years until hes an adult.  

Answer 6

She needs to loosen her grip on him. He's nearly an adult, and in my opinion, kids should be allowed to pick out their own clothing by age 9 (providing that it is reasonable, obviously). My brother is 9, and lives with me. I let him wear what he likes, as long as his pants are where they should be. He picks out his own outfit each day, and gets to pick what he wants at the store.

If she just sets some basic rules (ie, no pants around your ankles, etc), I'm sure things would be fine. She should've stopped dressing him at a much younger age.

Answer 7

he's old enough to buy his own clothes, as long as there are no drug symbols or something. she is making it hard for him, he's in high school let him dress himself already!

Answer 8

that is just sad

Answer 9

Well as a mother she does have the final say, but at that age he needs to be preparing for college and stuff like that. I'm pretty sure that would involve dressing himself.

Answer 10

Is your brother capable of physically dressing himself?  Maybe your mother needs a little help knowing what is "kool".