Is this right ? (woman please)?

Question

If you're on here enough alot, you'll see I've posted like 15 questions in the last few days regarding some issues that jumped out at me and change my life around. If your interested you can click my profile and see what the whole scenario is?

Well, here it goes....My Ex and I finally decided to stop the talking and resolve things. Our resolution is walk away from each other. We spoke for a little while, explained our selves and choose this as the best path. And we can not see each other, because it sends mixed signals, and false hope. I need to get on with my life, as well as she. She was living with me, and now she bounces from hotel to hotel, not knowing where she's going to sleep or where she's going to eat, and so on. My situation is very stable, financially that is. I'm not rich, but I'm comfortable. Here's my dilemma, yes I'm hurt that we separated, but worrying about her is my number one feeling right now. Wondering if shes alright, if she ate, so on. I know, if I want to deal with getting over her, I need distance to heal, but is it wrong or selfish not to try and help a woman I supported for the last 4 years? She was really my best friend for the longest time. I've been in relationships in the past, but never really worried about someone after there gone.

Answer 1

You still love her.  You could help her out if she asked you, but think of it like this.  If she is not worried about herself then why should you?  If she is worried that is another matter.  You could offer assistance, but if you do chances are you will be back together in some sort of way.  And yes I remember your other questions.  

Answer 2

she needs to grow up, get her life together, and not rely on a man to support her. if she keeps relying on you for everything, she is never going to be able to help herself. you should (if you really care about her) help her find a job and an apartment. you guys aren't together anymore. it's time for her to be an adult and support herself.  

Answer 3

There is a really easy answer here...do the right thing. Only you know whether this situaition for her was created solely by you or if it's a result of her own choices to not take responsibility for herself. If she is a decent person you don't kick her to the curb. You give her a chance to get a job and find a place to sleep. And if she needs some help to get started..you help her. If you were married you'd be paying spousal support. But if this is an example of someone who just isn't getting her act together, and is choosing to not work or settle down, it's no longer your problem. In that case it's called tough love and you need to heal yourself by breaking away and moving on. Do the right thing.

Answer 4

I understand that you guys have to not see each other in order to move on.  But it isn't fair that she is literally kicked to the curb.  I think you should at least have her stay with you and sleep on the couch but let her know that she has a month to move out.  

Good luck.

Answer 5

If you guys mutually decided to separate, then she's on her own, and it's the right thing for both of you. She is a big girl, she will figure it out. Try to take care of yourself right now.

Answer 6

Well that's strange that she is bouncing from hotel to hotel.  Because yesterday you live together right.  So you think she will be, but you don't know.  She might be moving in with the babies daddy.  

You have decided to move on that's good, but you need to do just that.  She is a big girl and can take care of herself.  Did she not say yesterday she wanted to work thing out with the babies daddy?  I am certain this will be hard for you, but also I feel this is the best for what I've read and understand.  YOu need to occupy your time to keep your mind busy.  Best of Luck to you

Answer 7

U chose to leave so now choose not to care. Ya sounds dumb but from experience it does work.  need to change ur attitude when it comes to her and when u get a thought in ur head about something to do w/ caring for her just lose it. Don't act on it and soon enough it will go away! I never believed people when they said loving someone was a choice, it is! Yes, it is a feeling as well but ur choosing to ave that feeling for them. She doesn't care if ur hungry or whatever so why do u wanna waste time an energy on hr? U don't! Gotta find a hobby or even a friend to shoot the sh*t w/ and they will keep ur mind off her. I have helped quite a few people w/ this. When u have someone u can contct whenever u want it makes it easier to forget those who have hurt u!

Answer 8

You obviously still have feelings for her and that's going to make you worry...Other than that I don't know what to say.. I feel for you...Good Luck..

Answer 9

I honestly commend you for your kind feelings.  It makes me wonder why you broke up but you did.  If you really love her perhaps there is still hope but if there is no hope for reconciliation and you both agree that this is indeed the end, then I am sorry to say that your kindness is only going to prolong your pain and continue the very uncertain situation you say neither of you wants.  If you are to let go of her , you must let go.  Do not think of her and try to change the subject when you catch your thoughts going in her direction.  If she is in such dire straights when she could have had stability then she must have considered this when you both agreed to end this.  If she initiated the break up then you must honor her wishes and back off.  Her mistakes and misfortunes are hers to go through and she has chosen not to go through them with you.  I am sorry for you and think she might have made a mistake but if it is the end, let it be the end or else you have not accomplished anything.