Is this rude? Would you be upset?

Question

Sometimes I get upset with my husband for nothing, so I'm wondering.

We're moving my parents into their new house today after their house burned down a couple months ago. I told them I'd be there around noon, but I have to be there around 1:00 to help them. My husband and I are both going, but we had to work for a couple hours this morning before going. We got to work really early and he said he'd be done by 9:30 (it's a 2.5 hour drive with no traffic), but it's almost 10:00 now. I called him at 9:45 and he said the longer he talked, the longer it was gonna take and that he wasn't done yet. I have no idea when he'll be here. He'll get mad at me for being upset with him, so I just need to make sure that I'm not getting overly upset before approaching him.

Answer 1

let it go

Answer 2

He doesn't control his work load or time. Be thankful he's going to help instead of staying at work all day.

You're right...you're getting upset over nothing.

Answer 3

you're just frustrated but you shouldn't take it out on him. I'm sure he's doing his best to get out asap to help you out.

just cool yourself off. Take this time to make some phone calls and cathch up w/ some ppl. or talk to ur parents, or go to starbucks and buy a Frappuchino.  YUMM.

BUt in a relationship you have to choose ur battles. U can't just fight for any single little thing. Think of ur husband as your best friend. Would a friend still like you after you yell and get mad at him every day for stupid things?? No, then why should you put the person you love the most through it?

Answer 4

Very volatile situation here. Both of you are under stress. Don't add to the stress.  Say anything now, and you can cause a fire storm with things said and possibly done that both of you will regret. Give it a rest for a couple of days and then bring it up by casually asking what was going on at work.

Consider the facts, he had to work later than planned, if he wants to keep the job, he has to do the work. He knows you and your parents are depending on him.  He is between the hard spot and the rock. The pressure is on. Add to that pressure and you may exceed the explosion point.

One of the secrets to a long marriage is: When both of you are under stress, do whatever is necessary to relieve some of that stress. Anything you say and feel now, can be said and felt in a couple of days when the pressure is off.

Another secret to a long marriage is: Anything said in the heat of an argument can't be taken back later, even if you didn't mean it, and no matter how much you apologize. Once said, it is out there forever. So don't talk about it while under stress.

Answer 5

You are getting upset with him over nothing. If he's not done at work, he's not done. I understand he wants to finish his work before the weekend, especially if he's leaving early today. If he were being late because he's playing wii, then yes, you would have a case. But so far you got nothing.

You could save some time by taking a cab home, preparing suitcases, getting the dog and locking up so when he's home all he's gotta do is wait for you to hop in the car...

Just an idea........

Answer 6

How is he being rude? You should be thankful he's even going. If it takes him a long time like 2.5 hours then obviously there might be traffic or something. d**n girl you need to take a chill pill.

Answer 7

This isn't rude at all. He's working, it's not like he's out drinking or partying. Chill out. You did prove yourself right when you said "Sometimes I get upset with my husband for nothing..." You just need to be more patient sometimes.

Answer 8

Yes, he was supposed to be done by 9:30, but things come up.  He is trying and obviously he is trying not to waste time explaining it on the phone.  So you will be a little late.  Who cares?  You are still going to be there and still going to help.  And you don't have to be there till one, but you said an hour early.  Call your parents and tell them that he is running a little late at work, that he got caught up with something and has to finish before he can leave, and you will be there as soon as you can.   Dont be mad.  You really need to evaluate the reasons you get angry at him and see if there is another underlying cause to your "easily angered" problem with him.  If you have to ask, "am I over-reacting?" You most likely are.  

Answer 9

I'd be distressed, but I don't think it's rude, no, and I don't think it ought to be a big problem in the end.

First, if I remember correctly, you're both grad students doing labwork, which more often than not takes longer than you expect. I may not remember correctly.

Second, you could always go without him.

Third, it would not be a disaster if you got there an hour late.

I would not make a big deal out of this, personally.

Answer 10

Yeah I know when Im busy at work trying to get things done so I can leave, having someone stop me to ask.. when are you leaving? when are you going to be done? etc.  Not only annoys the h**l out of me.. but it gets me out of my rhythm and in turn just takes me longer to get done.  

He knows his obligation.. he's doing his best. Let him finish, leave him alone and he'll be there when he can.

Answer 11

Been there.  Yes, I would be upset, but sometimes there are things that need to be done at work that cannot wait.  Yelling at him will just make the day miserable.  

Answer 12

Why be angry over something you can't control?  Just go with the flow and get where you're going a soon a possible.  (But don't take your frustrations out on him.  Its not his fault.)

Answer 13

Sometimes it is not that easy to leave work at a "certain" time. Do you know what he is having to finish up? I understand you are frustrated but the guy is not out playing basketball, he is working. Call your parents and let them know you will be running a little late because your husband had to finish something up at work.

Answer 14

Yes I would be upset.  He needs to follow along with his decision.  Why not get a ride home to get packed and the dog locked up.  If he still does not arrive, rent a car and go by yourself.

Answer 15

I don't get it. He's working.  Work ran a little late.  What are you going to do when you find out he's been sleeping with the babysitter? Wound up a little tight, ain't ya?