Is this script offensive?

Question

I am making a movie for school, which I will be showing to about 80 students. There is a part of the script which I am not sure about. Please help.

Scene: Wal-Mart cheese aisle

Bob is leaning against the door

BOB: Milk... yougurt... NO CHEESE!

HENRY: I wonder if they have Trix yogurt...

BOB: Who cares about yogurt!?

Bob grabs Henry and starts shaking him.

BOB: I CAN’T MAKE CHEESCAKE IF I DON’T HAVE CHEESE!

HENRY: Do you have a cheese addiction or dependancy or something?

BOB: ...

HENRY: Well?

BOB: It all started when I was ten...

Scene: Bob’s kitchen (flashback)

BOB: I like cheese!

Bob eats cheese.

Scene: Wal-Mart cheese aisle

HENRY: That was very insightful. Thank you.

BOB: Hey, hey, I’m not done yet! MY flashbacks, unlike yours, actually have more than one line in them.

HENRY: Cheap.

Scene: Bob’s living room (flashback)

Bob is sitting on the sofa.

BOB (NARRATOR): It was the last day of fourth grade.

BOB’S MOM: Your report card came today.

BOB: Oh boy oh boy!

Answer 1

You should take this part off.

Answer 2

The looking for pills in the bathroom part is a little offensive.  The script in general is not funny.

(I was an A student in high school.  If he can't figure out he is not doing so well in his classes, he deserves his F's.  Straight A's mean you know how to do math.  Doesn't mean he should down a bottle of pills and kill himself though.)

Answer 3

If you are in High School this movie is inappropriate.

Answer 4

lol. I thought it was funny. You might offend people who are sensitive about drug abuse though. The part where he's searching for pills in the cabinet is a bit harsh

Answer 5

not the least bit offensive. I actually find it pretty funny.

Answer 6

I'm offended by the cheesecake statement.  Cheesecake does not use cheese.  It's not like you stick a brick of cheddar in cheesecake.  There's no asiago, parmasian, mozza, havarti, edam or gouda in cheesecake.  Cheesecake is made with cream cheese, sugar and whatever flavorings you want.  

I would really change that.  You can't make cheese fondue, nachos & cheese, mac & cheese, cheese dip, grilled cheese or cheese soup without cheese...but you can certainly make cheesecake without cheese.

Otherwise, it sounds good.  Props on appropriate comma usage!

Answer 7

lil bit.

Answer 8

That was not offensive.

That was really good actually. You seem to have a real talent for writing.