Is this self pity ?

Question

I found out one of my married gf is expecting. At their wedding last year I sat by myself at an empty table with their housekeeper. I was single then and my life has not changed since.

It seems like everyone is moving on and my life is going nowhere.

Am I comparing myself unfairly to my married friends ? Am I being envious ? How can I stop pitying myself ? I've been gloomy the whole week. I went from feeling ok about my life to feeling desperate and totally alone !!!

Am I taking things the wrong way ?

Answer 1

Yes I believe your comparing yourself waaay to much to your married friends. I don't think your envious I just think that you want change. So I suggest you start being more productive, go out and do things you like.

I can only wish you luck from this point on.

Answer 2

Yes and yes. One should not compare their lives to those of other people. It is an exercise in frustration. You obviously have a desire to settle down and have kids, which is perfectly normal. So is being a little envious. It becomes a problem when it gets you depressed because you don't yet have what someone else has.

   Maybe what you need is a little patience. Things will eventually come along. Sometimes the best things come along when you least expect them.

   It sounds like your friends are getting the things that you want, but you are in such a rush to keep up, you are losing sight of the good things that are going on in your life.

   Try to stay positive and the good things in life will come along!

Answer 3

I used to feel the same way. I am recently engaged to be married and I am finally happy and don't feel that way. Just keep on going, because when you least expect it, you will meet someone. But I will give you advice with guys. Don't pressure them at all to be married. Matter of fact, the more you act like you kinda don't want to, and that your happy, then the more they will want to marry you. Just keep living your life and live for today. It will happen eventually. ANd then you will be at your own wedding one day, and one of your friends will be sitting alone by herself at a table. And most likely, it will be one of your friends that got divorced. Just wait.  

Answer 4

it took me a long time to but I've learned, comparing yourself to others isn't a good thing. I have a boyfriend but i'm very insecure about making friends. just be yourself and do what you want to do but dont do it to impress anyone else

good luck think about yourself and listen to your heart

Answer 5

I've felt the same way.  I have a friend who is always a step ahead of me and I was so envious.  She had a BF and I didn't, then I had a BF, but she got married.  Then I got married, and she announced at my rehearsal dinner that she was pregnant.  It was frustrating.

Now, I still have no children and she's having her second, but I see how hard it is for her.  So I'm no longer envious, her whole life is consumed by children and diapers, and I'm still just going to work and on vacations.  

Lots of people who are married want to be single, and many who are single want to be married....if you don't have kids you want them, and there are times when you do have kids that you want a little break.  The grass is always greener, but I look back at my single days and I miss the freedom sometimes.  Live it up and let HER be envious of all the fun you're having. :)