Is this selfish of me???????

Question

Im 18 right now, ive decided that when im 21 (the legal aged) I'd like to consider becoming a foster parent. Id like to do it because i think that id like to help out, there were loads of times where i couldve used and "extra parent" or something to help out, you know? Id like to help these kids and there families and just be there for them with whatever they needed. Id carry on with my job but just be there to offer them, a bed all their food and obviously all the love care and suppor that they require.

Some people that ive told have said that im being really selfish for deciding this, Obviously its 3 years till im 21 and nothings set in stone, but its just something that id like to know more about and perhaps do. I dont understand how im being selfish? Selfish to me would be to go out now and get pregnant because i want a child, thats not what i want to do.

I understand this is a little confusing and a lot of writing but, do you think im being selfish? If so can you tell me why?

Answer 1

selfish would be doing it just for the extra money in your pocket. why people do that when you dont get much money from the state to begin with, i dont know. but i think you have a really good plan. good luck!

Answer 2

I think it's great, and I have a suggestion.  If you are going to work part-time through school, do it in a daycare, where you can get some hands on skills at things like diapers, and, I'd go ahead with the training involved, so you'll know more about what you're getting into.  Good luck!  Some kids will be very lucky to have you, I hope!

Answer 3

Its not selfish at all, I think your idea is amazing, and although you never know what you will and up doing in the future, to be thinking of giving so much of yourself to help these children is anything but selfish.  I say good luck to you in achieving your dreams, and sod off to anyone who criticises you for that!!

Answer 4

I can't see how it is being selfish, unless they are concerned that it may scare off potential husbands.  But if that is the case then they were not worth having as a husband anyway, right?

Listen, if you want to do this then go ahead.  I wish you all the luck, love and support in the world.  There is a desperate need for good foster parents and any child would be lucky to have you in their life.  

My wife and I are foster parents right now.  We are in a special program in our area where we foster first and then once the court work is done (these are for children who will not be going back to their birth families) we are going to adopt this little 2 month old girl.  

Fostering is not easy.  Often times these children come to you with a whole host of issues that need to be dealt with and considered.  You will no doubt have your hands full but at the same time you have the opportunity to have your heart filled as well.

Follow your heart.  Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

I was adopted by my foster mom, so believe me it is definitely not selfish.  But it may be harder than you realize yet.  I am so grateful to my mom....don't give up....it's wonderful what you are considering.  Only warning: YOU WILL BE TEMPTED TO ADOPT THE CUTE LITTLE ONES!!!

Answer 6

awhh that is soo nice its perfect!! good luck!

Answer 7

that is not at all selfish..i too would like to help some kids out to foster and also adopt ,im now 24 and wheni was 18 i said the same as u..at the end of the day if u can give needy kids a good home and all the love in the world i say go for it..right now i would love to but they wont let me becos i have lost 2 kids and they say the time is not right for me..if there were more kind ppl like u in this world ,it certainly would make it a better place..u go for it xx

Answer 8

your not selfish.its a great thing to help others especially children.but since you are so young,ehy dont you consider nursing as a career or social work? then you get to help and still do the stuff you might want to do while young-travel,date ,go on holidays etc.

Answer 9

I don't see any selfishness in your plans at all.  At 18, you still have a lot to learn about life, and kids, and so forth.  But, it's a wonderful goal.  If you want to really help these kids (and you are right--there are a lot of kids who need extra parents), then spend the next few years learning about foster children.  What are your plans after high school?  What are your career goals?  

If you want to be a good adoptive parent, find out all you can about these children, and the challenges they face.  Read things written by real foster children, adoptees, foster parents, and first parents.  Learn from those who really know what it's like.  Setting a goal to help people is not selfish.  It's a good way to put focus in your life.

Answer 10

Sounds to me like the person or people who are saying you're selfish don't understand what you're talking about.  Maybe they don't know that there are hundreds of thousands of kids in foster care that need homes.  Maybe they don't understand that you're not doing this for money (like anyone could survive on the meager pay you get from taking care of foster kids anyway).  There must be something they're not "getting" about this.  Becoming a foster parent isn't selfish.  That doesn't even make any sense.

Answer 11

that is not self fish at all ur reaching out to people and helping them and caring for them and not just think about ur self

Answer 12

uhmm thats not selfish thats actually really cute lol. the world would be a lot better if they had more people like you.

Answer 13

I don't think it's selfish in the least bit.  What I don't understand is how you're going to support yourself and another human being at the age of 21. Shouldn't you be working on a college degree instead, and THEN fostering children or having one of your own?

Answer 14

your normal

Answer 15

im 22 and a mum to a 8month baby boy.

i did want to do the same, but i had my baby with my partner of8years.

i think its very unslfish to want to foster.  a child would be grateful for any secure home they are given. i think the people who told you that are selfish, as they seem to think about themselves rather then the children.

if you can offer what achild needs why not do it?

and even if you have children of your own you can still foster, so hope for me yet.

Answer 16

No, I don't think your selfish at all - fostering a child is a really great thing to do - perhaps you're a little young to have decided this, but hey, why not - if you're really serious about it then a good place to start looking is the local government website - they'll probably have details about it on there.

Good luck!

Answer 17

Gurl that is not selfish at all... I wanted too do that as well.. Here i am 21 with 3 kids of my own.. Well goin on three... I would do that cause u kno how many kids out there need familys... Other people dont care... I would consider doin something like that when my kids get alittle older... I love kids and i love helping people out!  Some people think about themselfs before they think of others.. I hate people like that.. THey dont understand that the world dont revolve around them... But gurl follow ur heart... God sent all of us here for a reason!

Answer 18

it takes a wonderful and remarkable person to be a foster parent some of these kids have nobody try being a big sister or volunteer at you local hospital childrens ward it is one of the most rewarding things in life good luck and god bless you

Answer 19

Im a little confused as to why you are being selfish also.... If you are in a stable position financially and mentally then go for it! I'm sure the child/or children will be very grateful that you want to make them happy and give them a good start to life, and theres nothing selfish about that !

Goodluck with it all and I hope you decide to go through with it and not listen to others.

Answer 20

I personally think its great that you want to do this and people around you should be more supportive of your thoughts.

I agree in 3 years things may change and it could be something that you decide to do later on in life but it shows that your a very caring and unselfish person.

If you contact your local council they can give you advise for when you do turn 21 the only thing i would say is that children who require fostering usually come from a very sad family background and require a great deal of help and support, i dont mean to put you off but be ware it can be an extremly emotional time for you as well as the children you care for its not an easy thing to do but i wish you all the luck in the world and that you succeed to do what you want, its totally unselfish :)