Question:

Is this simply FWB or something more?

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So, my roommate and I have come to what's supposed to be a FWB level. It's been about 5/6 months since this has started. I help him tons taking care of his son, housework, etc......And not a day passes that he doesn't thank me repeatedly & let me know how much he appreciates me & my help.

However, he often makes it clear that since his last GF left him high & dry he doesn't want a relationship. And often tells me about cute girls he saw - or that were flirting with him, etc....

Yet, as the situation between us goes........

The 3 of us share a bed every night. He plays 'footsie' w/ me at most every moment he can. He includes me in his family events (i.e. holidays, bdays, dinner w/ his parents, or just lending a helping hand). We go out to dinner & movies a lot. He's often flirty in public. He "brushes" my hand w/ his in public & while driving...but has never acutally 'held' my hand. He just lays around & cuddles w/ me a lot. When sleeping he'll caress my arm or head...and sometimes, he'll hold my hand while we lay there and/or sleep.

He has said such things as : "We kind of have a shadow relationship"

When someone brought the "LOVE" subject up he said that: "(he's) not "in love" w/ me..that he has a "strong appreciation" for me...but that 'love' takes time to earn..or else it's just puppy love & (he's) too old for that kind of stuff"

That he doesn't want "s*x to muddle our relationship..because his heart doesn't know what it wants.......and his 'internal compass' is going crazy"

I mean, to me there are things he does that make me think he has more than just friend feelings; but can't admit them to me. Perhaps even to himself. But other times I just think - I guess this is the way FWB are supposed to be...????

I know he got hurt really bad & he's scared that it'll happen again. But also....I don't want to get hurt. I certainly don't want his son to get hurt .

I was just looking for a third party opinion of what they thought, given the few examples I listed off.

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2 ANSWERS


  1. hun i have had the FWB thing and it wasn't like that FWB is something more like you just sleep together and then don't talk till you want that to happen again this sounds to me like he does have strong feelings for you but is scared and doesn't want to get hurt again so he wont admit them to u or himself


  2. ive had a fwb and it doesnt go like that. sounds like maybe you need to give him a wake up call.show him what he'll be missing. go on a date. dont brag dont rub it in or try and make him jealous that will just throw up some red flags. if you meet another guy you think you want to have more than one date with then explane to your roomie that you met someone who isnt afraide to comit to you and you need to make a decision thats best for you.dont waste time betting on something thats not a sure thing when you mite be missing mr perfect. ma ybe your roomie will finally see that he wants you all to him self and has to make the comitment to keep you. good luck

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