Is this the solution to domestic violence?

Question

Note that women initiate the most domestic violence. Sometimes the man doesn't hit back. But, when it becomes a fight she usually loses and gets hurt. Check the studies.

http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/42/15/31-a

http://www.ajph.org/cgi/content/abstract/97/5/941

If women were trained not to ever initiate DV wouldn't that prevent most DV incidents since they start most of them?

Answer 1

there aint nothin worth fightin bout if it gets physical aint no good for eithier side lifes to short to be fighten with somebody ya sa posed to love!! aint right , shouldnt go that far!! if ya cant ride down the road , missen sombody, ya just left, wishin them the best , better just move on!!

Answer 2

Makes perfect sense.  If you don't start a fight, there probably won't be one.

Answer 3

"The study also asked subjects to answer questions about romantic or sexual relationships..."

Just as I expected: self-disclosure survey.  This is the only kind of instrument that suggests domestic violence is perpetrated by women as much as men (or nearly as much).  Its not useful to rely on one instrument alone: you need to look at

- emergency room hospital reports

- police reports

- court documents

- social worker reports

- psychologist reports

I once threw a dry towel at a boyfriend in anger.  If I were honestly responding to a self-disclosure survey on the subject that would mean I had committed an act of violence.  We both know this is utterly ridiculous.

If you look at ALL data collected by a variety of instruments, the picture changes dramatically; it is found that women are much more likely to be beaten to a pulp, strangled, choked and murdered.  As your second item (an abstract) observes "...men were more likely to inflict injury than were women".  Women are likely to be victimised for longer periods of time than are male victims of DV.  

And Wendy is right in her observations.

As to your question:  the most effective way to tackle violence in ANY sphere of life?  Education and awareness.  And social supports like community mental health services.

Answer 4

Yes.  I was a member of a large Mens Divorce group for an inner city.  Most of the time it was the woman who initiated physical contact but the guy got busted (arrested.)

Answer 5

Here's lookin at you says it all. Don't start it and it ain't happening.

Answer 6

You must be an abuser yourself to try to con everyone into thinking it's not your fault.  

Answer 7

I am sorry Lady, that must have been hard for you.  I am glad you were able to get away from the abuse.  I felt bad about a lot of the other answers after I read yours.  We get so reckless in what we say sometimes.

Of course the whole question is nonsense and anyone who understands or works with domestic violence knows that.  Information taken out of context and that is all it amounts to.

Answer 8

"Women were trained"?

Therein lies the problem. You cannot train someone not to become angry. These things are ingrained in us from millions of years of evolution and they certainly serve a purpose; chiefly to remain self-interested in important matters.

Sure it shouldn't happen, but it is far cry from 'training' people not to start domestic violence. I don't think people deliberately want to engage in DV.  

Answer 9

I don't know if it's true, but I seem to recall that people with physical training- training to harm, disable and kill... (martial arts, special forces, Navy Seals and Army Rangers) if those people were antagonized and attacked, them fighting back was like bringing a gun to a knife fight. Their prowess made them dangerous and thus their use of force, though self protection, is illegal. At best they're supposed to restrain the other guy.

Which may or may not apply to women. I dunno. A thought.

Answer 10

While I understand your point, it still doesn't warrant either party being violent. I've had some pretty bad arguments and it's NEVER escalated into hitting anyone.

It really doesn't surprise me that women get pissed about something and then start yelling. But it never justifies being struck because of it.

Justifying hitting anyone is just lame. You choose whether to react or not!

Answer 11

The reason women initiate more violence vs men is they cannot control their anger as well as men, and they do not expect for a man to hit them back.

The problem is men are genetically coded to protect women, and if a woman is abusing a man the mans genetic coding is still active and he will not harm her.

So if we could over ride this genetic coding, we as men, and men being the more physically powerful s*x on average then a woman would not hit a man because she would expect to  be stricken back and if she was; she would lose the fight due to mens muscular superiority.

Answer 12

That's my impression of it, women will initiate but men become the statistic.

The fact that most male serial killers and rapists had abusive mothers also needs attention.

A large media campaign on female dv is in order, everything from passive aggression to physical violence needs to be demonised.

Answer 13

I have tried to think of some decent way to answer this but I cannot.  I was abused by a man from age 16 to 19, severely, emotionally, physically, sexually.  I feared even opening my mouth, let alone initiating abuse.  I have had guns held to my head, been pulled around by my hair, had my head stuffed in a toilet for crimes as horrible as having one cup unwashed in the sink.  

I got away, a lot of women don't.

Answer 14

I think the first step to solving the problem of domestic violence is to stop engaging in pointless and polarizing “men are the problem” versus “women are the problem” debate. ABUSE is the problem.

No matter which gender starts it more often, or who gets hurts worse, it's wrong and it hurts people.    

Answer 15

Neither of your sources actually state that women initiate DV more. They actually state that women are more often the perpetrators of non-reciprocal violence. This does NOT imply that they initiate more violence, however.

How did you get that from those sources?

Answer 16

To be honest that sounds like a sophisticated version of "she had it coming".

Yea prevention is the best but you're relying on changing women's violent predispositions as though it also changes mens. That's not the case at all. The most common DV where a women gets beaten to a pulp is when the man comes home from the pub drunk and she berates him. He reacts to her being upset in the only way he is capable of in his intoxicated state. Would you also start suggesting we also train them to never confront their husbands and partners and just let things slide to avoid getting beaten up?

note: I totally understand that DV against men is barely addressed but you're focussing on the wrong issues. The issue is we need to raise awareness of men being victims too. But the ones who really are perpetrators are utterly condemnable and none of the blame should be on the victim.

That's why I say men who actually beat their partners up

Answer 17

A woman I once knew went to see her priest because her husband was beating her, and she dreaded spending more time in hospital. The priest suggested she wear thicker clothing as 'protection'.

I think your suggestion, that women recognise it's their own fault their spouses brutalise them and 'train' to be more amenable, ranks right up there.

Are you, by any chance, a priest?

Cheers :-)