Is this too serious to be humorous or to funny to be real?

Question

Psychology of a Siren

My life is a worthy tangent

I wish someone would join along

as I glide in watered homeland

people stops to hear my song

After they have listened closely

all they want to do is run

For the drama of a Siren

I guess they think is not so fun

I need a therapist

one who wears a snorkel mask!

This was meant to be serious but with a little fun added in… what do you think? Do you like it? What do you like about it and what could be made better?

Blessed Be, Siren

Answer 1

Siren it was amazing i love poems i can read be serius and enjoy also plain silly ones. it reminds me of a couple things. i think its too seruis in the beging

Answer 2

its very nice and sad.

good look finding a therapist with a snorkel mask lol jk

Answer 3

This is an interesting idea, and `worthy tangent' is a worthy line.  The gap from siren to humour is challenging, but perhaps some kind of pun on mask in the first quatrain might be able to unify the whole?  That is just an idea.  I also noticed that the first two quatrains are metrically quite distinct: the first is anapestic with liberal iambic substitutions (-`--`-`-/ --`--`-` /--`-`-`- /--`-`-`), while the second is actually trochaic, with the last line inverted into iambic (`-`-`-`-/ `-`-`-`/ `-`-`-`-/ -`-`-`-`).  I think this change does reflect the freedom longed for in the first quatrain, versus the sense of enthrallment, and running away, of the second.  I don't know if it is totally advisable, but I would consider making the break between the quatrains more explicit to make each a more unified whole in a three part poem.  Just an idea--

Answer 4

I think it is a nice balance! I laughed, I cried, it moved me...

Answer 5

To be completely honest with you, it's a little bit of both. The life of a Siren is causing the death of others, your in depth studies of mythology will have taught you that. So perhaps you are feeling a little bit of that psychology right now, feeling like you cause the death of  everything around you. However, within the earth and the sea there are powerful reversal magix. Try singing your song backwards...it will give life, I promise.

Answer 6

There are quite serious thoughts offered with a touch of humor that, I believe, only serves to make the seriousness of the poem more poignant, like a brave smile on a teary-eyed child.  The honesty in the poem lies somewhat obscured, I think, but can be inferred by thinking of the poem this way. I do like this poem, very much.  Thank you.