Is this too severe?

Question

Ok when it comes to spanking me and my husband have always used our hands to do it. The other day my husband used a paddle other than his hand to spank our daughter. She is eight and stole a pair of sunglasses from wal mart. We thought she was too old to have to take her pants down, and spanking over jeans with your hands does not do much. So, she got five hard swats with a paddle that we have had forever. It didn't hurt her that bad, she cried a lot, but I think she was just sorry for what she had done. My sister said this was too severe, but yet she uses a hickory (switch). I was wondering what your opinions was?

Answer 1

Anything besides a hand can be constituted as abuse.

Answer 2

Too severe? Um no - do you know the kind of things that she'll face in prison?!?

I think at this age she may be too old to respond to a spanking though --- to really drive it home she should have to return them to the manager of the store and stand at the check out with a sign around her neck that says - this is what happens when you shoplift.

Embarrassment at her age is way more effective

Answer 3

ABUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Answer 4

Considering it is illegal and childabuse yes it was way to severe. The only spanking not illegal is with clothes over the bottom and being hit with on the palm of a hand.  If you hit bare bottom and/or with anything other than the palm of your hand and/or if it leaves a mark then it is illegal and considered childabuse.

Answer 5

Stealing a pair of sunglasses at age 8 is pretty full on!

My kids would definitely get a good smack if they did this!

You acknowledged that you did not want to humiliate her by making her drop her pants, and therefore that tells me that you are loving, caring parents.

No, I wouldn't say this is too severe.

If you do feel uncomfortable about this, then perhaps if it happens again (which hopefully it won't) then a less physical punishment could be taking her back to the store and making her give them back the sunglasses and tell them she took them.  This will teach her to take responsibility for her actions, and will probably give her quite a fright - which can be a good thing, especially with shoplifting.

No, you're not bad or abusive parents, and I'm sure she'll think twice about stealing again.

Answer 6

For me, using any instrument for spanking, I don't like. But, however in your case, I think it was necessary to use a paddle. Paddle is ok, and it gets the message acrossed, and if your husband was careful not to use his full strength, then it should be fine.

I was abused when I was a child. I had a belt buckle that left welts and bruises all over my backside from my father. My father and step mother also used a "Switch" that I had to take off the tree myself and peel, and then they would use it on me. Both of these were extreme because they used their full strength on me with these objects. This was abuse.

What you did hon, was not abuse and I think it was necessary. Steeling once, even as a child, can lead to future trouble with the law. So getting the message acrossed with a good swat on the keester is exactly what she needed in order to get her attention.

I would also suggest taking her to the police station and asking one of the officers if they would "scare her straight", and let them know what happened at the WalMart. They would be happy to. And if she hasn't returned the glasses yet, another huge lesson would be to have her return them and to talk with the manager. That will also get her attention.

To answer you question with a more simple answer..."no" I don't believe it was severe.  :-)

Answer 7

I think you did the right thing.  But to help reinforce it you should make her take them back and talk to someone in customer service and make her tell them how sorry she is.

Answer 8

i dont belive in using weapons on your children. so IMO yes it's too severe. if spanking doesnt work then obviously you need to do other things than spank

According toa  socail worker i know- spanking is ONLY legal with the palm of your hand with clothes on and you CAN't\T leave a mark

Answer 9

I dont think that's any different from a switch. If anything, it probably hurt less. The little switches always hurt so bad because they were so tiny and whipped through the air. At least a paddle can't gain as much momentum when spanking with it. That's what I think, anyway. My son is only 1 so, we haven't spanked at all, but if I do, I think I will stick to hands only just because I would feel too guilty to use anything else.

Answer 10

No, I don't think it was too severe at all. I was spanked with a hand whenever I was misbehaved when I was her age, and I think a paddle would have been more affective. I think a hickory switch is too severe, most times.

I think it's rediculously how people call it abuse these days! There are plenty of people who have turned out well and were spanked as kids- including you and myself! We aren't scarred for life. Whether it's spanking or paddling, as long as it's not done in rage, the child isn't really physically hurt, and they know why you did it, it's alright.

Answer 11

hickory hurts much more!!

I think spanking is kind of pointless though.

Taking away something she LOVES hurts much much more/works much much better.

TO ADD:  The punishment needs to fit the kid.  I know I would have much rather gotten a good hit and been able to go to the mall with my friends again that night than not be able to see my friends for a week.  Parents hit because they are lazy in so many situations.. dont want to enforce a real punishment because it takes too much effort and time on your part.  Im not saying this is true in your case but simply stating an opinion about MOST cases where spanking is a punishment.  It's illegal because people get carried away and hit out of anger and cause real damage to their children.  I say accompany what you have already done with a good grounding from TV, computer and friends and that will definately have more of an effect on her AND it's perfectly legal.

Answer 12

No, and to be honest, after the spanking I would have taken her BACK to Wal -Mart, and made her return the glasses to the store manager and apologize for it, then grounded her for a month.

Tell your sister to quit being a hypocrite.

Answer 13

I would have made her go back to Wal-mart and return the glasses AND apologize to the manager.

Answer 14

I would not have used a paddle. Open hand, clothed bottom gets the point across. Myself, I would have taken my son back to walmart, and made him tell a security guard/manager what he had done.

Quick poll for anyone that checks back on this answer - please add if you are a parent or not. I am - I have a (almost) 2 year old son.

Answer 15

Poor way of discipline.

She could had gotten punished another way.

Answer 16

I know you don't think this is considered abuse, but it technically is considered abuse. What your kid did was stupid, but maybe you shouldn't rely on spanking to teach your kid right from wrong.  Maybe you should consider taking a parenting class, because it doesn't sound like you really know what you're doing.

Answer 17

No. i got paddled when i was little and it worked. we cry alot because we think that our parents dont love us anymore. but she needed to know that stealing was not okay.

Answer 18

Loving discipline is what this generation of kids is Sadly Lacking...your daughter did something worthy of this kind of discipline...guiding your child and steering her back onto the right path when she wanders off of it is a parents job. She will be fine and I'll bet she won't steal again.