Is this unfair or am I exaggerating?

Question

I have a younger brother who is 13, he is blond with curly hair and blue eyes and such an angel to everyone.

I am the oldest of 3 (I have a younger sister who is 15)

My brother gets me in trouble with my parents all the time. Our father totally spoils him and he gets away with things I would never get away with (not even when I was his age)

He never hits him either while I get hit pretty much all the time. I get punished for everything and on top of that I get in trouble for him.

I bet this has something to do with the way we look. I have olive skin and dark hair and eyes and I don't look all that angelic.

My sister agrees with me. She doesn't get hit either because she is dad's little princess, but she is actually on my side so I don't have a problem with her. Sometimes I feel like she is the only one who actually loves me for real.

I don't know what to do with my brother. I tried different things, like beating him up (man, did that get me a beating from dad), talking to him nicely, begging him to just give me a break...

He is like a n**i soldier for dad, always tells on me even if i haven't done anything wrong, he just enjoys seeing me get in trouble. (and dad never questions him)

I even talked to mom and dad about it, but they are like I am the oldest and I have to set an example for my younger siblings and what doesn't kill me it will only make me stronger, blah, blah...

I am kind of used to being hit and ''spanked'' (it isn't really spanking anymore, but beating) - but I do hate being the only one who gets it. I am not about to start whining about this - but I do feel my parents don't love me as much as they love my brother and sister.

Is that even possible?

(I am 16)

Answer 1

I think that you should seriously consider talking to your school's counselor for two reasons. They could give you insight into how you can get along better with your siblings. It also sounds like you're getting punished too harshly by your parents.

Being oldest is no picnic. Your parents haven't been through this "raising a teenager" thing before. I am 2nd oldest of 4 and I can tell you that my parents got a lot less strict with my younger siblings than with me and my older brother. They learned from the two of us what didn't work and what did.

Some siblings do the "tattle-tale" thing because that's how they get the attention that they crave from their parents. They also get negative attention from you. But attention is all they want no matter what kind it is. You could try doing something unexpectedly nice for them every once in awhile and you may help to create a better relationship with your siblings. You are emotionally more mature than your younger siblings. They may not be as able to empathize with you as you can with them because of their age, but this will change as they get older.

I am sure that your parents love you just as much as your siblings. They expect you to be more responsible though. My brother and sister (when they became about 20 years old) each told me thank you for being a good big sister and for being there for them when they needed me. Hopefully your siblings will do the same thing when they're old enough to realize how much you sacrificed for them when they were growing up.

Answer 2

hey..

i am a 3rd child (15) of 4. i have 2 older sisters and 1 younger brother (10). and yes, my brother also gets away with things. but hey, that's what they do. there's really nothing you can do about it. they are what they are. and about  your parents, speak up! stand up to them and explain everything, every tiny detail about how you feel (TELL THEM TO GIVE A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR YOUR BROTHER, NOT ONLY YOU) i mean, when ure brother see  your parents beating you up he'll start to think its ok to do that to people.

so tell your parents to give your brother an example as well

Remember: YOUR NOT A PUPPET!

Good Luck!

Answer 3

YES. IT'S UNFAIR. however try to talk to your parents. if you're the only one in your family getting such treatment it's kinda unfair. so don't be afraid to speak up. cheers.

Answer 4

You need to talk to another adult who can actually do something.  Perhaps a priest, rabbi, minister, aunt, uncle, grandparent.  If what you're saying is true, then what your father is doing is illegal and you can legitimately call 911 for police assistance.  It may take this kind of action to get your father to realize his actions

Answer 5

Call child services. And beat the **** out of your brother so bad he won't be able to rat on you.

Answer 6

Ahhh yes,takes me back,but rest assured you will not live like this for the rest of your life,and there will come a time when you are old enough to leave home and branch out on your own. There is many a song written about what life throws at us and how much stronger having to deal with these issues it makes us. Your father has no right to "beat" you,and this I would certainly talk to an outside party about and perhaps they can intervene on your behalf. I wish you well.

Answer 7

You're a typical teenager. Just wait a year or 2 and you'll get over it

Sorry, i know you probably hate people telling you that, but its true

x

Answer 8

Wow! What a dipsh*t. He sounds five. I'm 13 and I really see no point in doing what he does.

And hold on! Your 16 and still getting spanked? That should stop when you 10! next time he tries, tell him your sorry, and you didn't mean what you did or said. Ask him if he would stop hitting you. You need to have respect for your parents to give you extra credit for your feelings.

I also think it's quite rare for your parents not too love you lol.  I think that perhaps, you might not see that some things you do need to be altered. For example, if your brother is being annoying- don't yell, just walk. OR tell him calmy if he could go away (not p**s off). If he doesn't resort to your parents help. If he is annoying you when you're doing homeowrk, you have more of a right to make him go away. Start respecting your parents, and ignore your brother as much as possible. Try techniques to calm yourself before you pulverise him into crust, so you don't lol.

Make your parent's see that you're a responsible duaghter that needs to be given extra credit with.

It won't be long till you're 18. No more than 2 years. I have almost 4 years (i'm almost 14)!

Good luck and the key words are respect, ignorance (too your brother) and favour to your parents.