Is this wrong or am I crazy?

Question

My boyfriend is always slapping his 14 and 16 year old daughters butts. He also likes to see them wear revealing clothes. Is there something wrong with him. He also use to sleep in the same bed with them, up to about 6 months ago. They only see him every other weekend. The rest of the time they are with there mother. We donot live together

Answer 1

oh god..how can you even ask that..i'm 16 years old..and if my father ever behaved that way to me i would get very derpressed..and scared..

Answer 2

I noticed that you posted this question 3 times. Sounds to me like something inside of you is telling you that what he's doing is very wrong, and you're becoming very worried. You already know the answer and are just here to get reassurance of the truth. Here's a re-post of my earlier post, for this question:

Hi Fallon,

This is very wrong! What he's doing is sexual assault. He has no good reason or right to be slapping(touching) there butts. He's teaching his daughters that this type of disrespect is something that they should accept from men. There definitely is something wrong with him. I don't know why he would sleep in the same bed as them, but I can only imagine why he likes to see them in revealing clothing. The simple fact that you're asking this question is, to me, a clear indication that you already know the obvious answer. I feel sorry for the daughters; I hope that they'll be capable of having healthy, not abusive relationships with men. Aside for the fact that he has no right to be sexually assaulting them, this is illegal, and he's sending them very unhealthy messages about there identity as females. I wouldn't be surprised if he has sexually abused them in much more graphic ways, but even if not, what you do know about is definitely wrong. Technically, what he does would likely be considered as a misdemeanor. I don't know exactly what you should do. You can always call Child Protective Services, and they'll interview the children and try to establish a solution. You could talk to the girls. Clearly this guy is not a very good father, even if he doesn't do everything wrong, the wrong is very wrong. I hope that you'll take this seriously and do what you can to protect these girls and get them some help. Don't be one of these minimizers. If you call 800 656 HOPE, you can get more information about the laws in your area. This is a service offered by RAINN.org. When you call this hot-line, you get automatically transferred to the nearest sexual assault counseling center, to you. Your number is never stored and the calls are anonymous. The reason that the hot-line transfers you to a center in your area is because they'll know about the laws in your state and might be able to offer in person counseling. These girls might be in need of a service like this, as well ,for the sake of counseling. You can call just to get information or to get counseling for something that may have happened to you, even if over 30 years ago. These girls deserve to get treated with respect, just as you do, and they may have a lot that they need to talk to someone about. You have nothing to lose by getting more info. I wish you all of the best!

James

Answer 3

Weird--mostly the part about him liking them to wear revealing clothes.  I don't think he'd be my boyfriend for much longer.

Answer 4

Eeeek! That is creepy!!! I would be careful to let him around your children if you have any...

Answer 5

It could be one of two things.  Either he doesn't realize that they are too old for the child play or to be sharing the same bed.  You should ask why he wants them to wear revealing clothing.  Perhaps he is convinced they will attract a man that will take care of them.  Some fathers seem to think if they get their daughters married off than they don't have to take care of them anymore, even if they are very young.  But they way you described it sounds like he is acting sexually towards them.  It will very difficult to have a conversation with him about this.  I would attempt some alone time with the daughters and explain to them that if ANYBODY(including relatives), ever makes them feel uncomfortable that they should speak with their mother.  Other than that unless you witness something bad enough to contact the police there is little that you can do.

Answer 6

Whoa! Of course you're not crazy. That's definite sexual harassment and molestation. That guy you're dating should not be allowed to be alone with those girls! You can make an anonymous phone call to child protective services, since the girls are minors. Call: 1-800-4-A-CHILD

Also, have you checked your state's s*x offender registry? What if your BF is on it? Protect yourself and those girls.

Answer 7

I don't think your crazy but I think his actions are questionable, do you talk to the girls mother, maybe you should try, ask her if this has happened in her presence, I seriously think something is not right