Is this wrong ? or am I crazy?

Question

My boyfriend is always slapping his 14 and 16 year old daughters butts. He also likes to see them wear revealing clothes. Is there something wrong with him. He also use to sleep in the same bed with them, up to about 6 months ago. They only see him every other weekend. The rest of the time they are with there mother. We donot live together.

Answer 1

Hi Fallon,

This is very wrong! What he's doing is sexual assault. He has no good reason or right to be slapping(touching) there butts. He's teaching his daughters that this type of disrespect is something that they should accept from men. There definitely is something wrong with him. I don't know why he would sleep in the same bed as them, but I can only imagine why he likes to see them in revealing clothing. The simple fact that you're asking this question is, to me, a clear indication that you already know the obvious answer. I feel sorry for the daughters; I hope that they'll be capable of having healthy, not abusive relationships with men. Aside for the fact that he has no right to be sexually assaulting them, this is illegal, and he's sending them very unhealthy messages about there identity as females. I wouldn't be surprised if he has sexually abused them in much more graphic ways, but even if not, what you do know about is definitely wrong. Technically, what he does would likely be considered as a misdemeanor. I don't know exactly what you should do. You can always call Child Protective Services, and they'll interview the children and try to establish a solution. You could talk to the girls. Clearly this guy is not a very good father, even if he doesn't do everything wrong, the wrong is very wrong. I hope that you'll take this seriously and do what you can to protect these girls and get them some help. Don't be one of these minimizers. If you call 800 656 HOPE, you can get more information about the laws in your area. This is a service offered by RAINN.org. When you call this hot-line, you get automatically transferred to the nearest sexual assault counseling center, to you. Your number is never stored and the calls are anonymous. The reason that the hot-line transfers you to a center in your area is because they'll know about the laws in your state and might be able to offer in person counseling. These girls might be in need of a service like this, as well ,for the sake of counseling. You can call just to get information or to get counseling for something that may have happened to you, even if over 30 years ago. These girls deserve to get treated with respect, just as you do, and they may have a lot that they need to talk to someone about. You have nothing to lose by getting more info. I wish you all of the best!

James

Answer 2

This is wrong. What father would want his daughter[s] wearing revealing clothes? I think something's wrong with him. I can see why the daughter lives with their mother. I have a dad who slaps my butt too.

Answer 3

GET HIM AWAY FROM THOSE TEENS NOW HE IS A PEDO

Answer 4

I think that this really inappropriate and disturbing.

Answer 5

yes this is VERY wrong. maybe you should do something to shift the perv-ness elsewhere.

Answer 6

You should talk this over with him...

It is definitely not something everybody does...

seeing his daughters wear revealing clothes?

hmmm??

Answer 7

I say this is inappropriate behavior!!! I personally would be leary of this guy! How do the girls react to his attention?It's not healthy for this kind of attention to be giving to his daughters.He should be discouraging them from wearing revealing clothes and having some modesty in their choice of clothing.What does the mother think about all of this? If he's doing this to his teen daughters,what does he expect from you? Please think your relationship thoroughly through,your future with him could be clouded with suspicions.(mine would).Try looking at this situation as an outsider looking in,how would you feel if it was a friends situation? In my opinion you don't think it's proper either,that's why your questioning it here.

Answer 8

I think that there is definitely something wrong there. While some fathers like to be affectionate, there is a line between affection and abuse, and there is an age at which this becomes inappropriate. If he slept in the same bed with his daughters at age 10, there would not be a problem, but the fact that he's done that with his daughters when they are sixteen is not normal. The fact that your boyfriend likes to see his mature daughters in revealing clothing and slap their butts is not only "wrong," but could be a sign of abuse.  

Answer 9

wow. that is... really strange. i don't mean to be too cavalier, but i think he needs a bit of help, or something bad may happen

Answer 10

I feel it does cross the line.  

If it makes you uncomfortable, it is not normal.  I would be very skeptical about dating this guy.  How do the girls feel about this?  Have you talked to them?  Do they know and trust you enough to find out how they are feeling when their dad slaps their butts.    I would definately discuss this matter with him because its obvious that to the eye it is not normal to you.  If he gets defensive or acts even the slightest bit off the wall, you definately need to speak to those girls.  You dont live with him you stated, I would wonder what goes on behind closed doors.  Also, I would speak to the mother of these girls to see why she is no longer in the picture.

Answer 11

There is no correct answer for this touchy subject. The only thing I can say is maybe you need to tell his ex about this behavior. But be warned it may back lash and you may lose the boy friend. If you are worried about it then maybe you should find a new boy friend as you already have concerns about his behavior. What would you do if he was doing this with your daughters? once you know the answer to this you will have the answer to this question.