Is virginity a virtue anymore?

Question

Is virginity a virtue anymore?

Answer 1

Good question!  No.  I don't think so.  Hasn't been for a long time.  

Answer 2

not really

Answer 3

Shakespeare once said, "that nothing is good, or bad, but thinking makes it so",   he meant that we are the ones that create the notion of "goodness" or "badness" by the way we choose to think, and in many countries in the past, (our own included), it was an act of "virtue" to retain your virginity, for the true love of your life, but just how do you know who that will be, this one ?, or the next one ?

You do not, do you ?.

So, is losing this "virgo intacta" state, anything that may be said to be immoral ?, in past times it certainly was regarded as important, that the woman was virgo intacta, (to use the Latin phrase, and "vestal virgins" were important to the divination of the will of the Gods, the loss of virginity resulted in the death of any virgin foolish enough to do so, even if the loss was occasioned by rape), and for royalty, was a must, the reason being the determination of the offspring, as the males legitimate heirs, because of inheritance, of titles or wealth, it was proposed by many as the yardstick of behaviour, against which promiscuity was measured, any woman who was not so was considered as promiscuous, and not marriageable material....

This is readily understood, and becomes a "virtue" under these circumstances, but what if the situation was, where the family was isolated, and therefore likely to die out if the female(s) was/were,  unwilling to accept a mate ? under these circumstances, is incest a virtue, for survivals sake ? and virginity an evil state ?

Such a state existed in much of this world, before the invention of the bicycle, by Kirkpatrick MacMillan, in Scotland, and incest was readily noticable in isolated communities around Great Britain, prior to this mobility allowing the increased range of choice, in sexual relationships amongst this island population ?

And it was also common among many nations worldwide, because it was needed for survival in  small communities, everywhere, no offspring, ? no pension in old age ? no children for the care of the elderly, or to work the land, or fields for a families income, ....hence virginity was at the time not a virtue, but a risk factor in survival ....

If it ever was a virtue,  the roots of it as a virtue are inherently practical, and are enforced as behaviour, by the act of disapproval, by society, at differing stages of history, it means different things, at different times !!!.

So to answer your question directly, is impossible, other than to say that it never really was a virtue, except for the benefit of the mostly male offspring...

For women, it was seen as an advantage in the marriage game, but this does not apply when the male suitor was uninterested in offspring or inheritance...i.e. he already had offspring or was in love irrespective of the status of his intended mate, or had no worldly goods to endow...

In the Far East, their is still a value placed on this, and in  some traditional Malay marriages, it was the Brides father, who deflowered the Bride, digitally, later presenting the Groom, with the "bloody cloth" to signify the "pure" status of the Bride....;

In the Middle eEst it was common practise to have the Bride deflowered, and the inside of the v***a, was coated in tannic acid, ( yes, the same acid used to tan leather !), so that the groom would not cause her pain on her wedding night, the deflowering was carried out, by the women of a tribe, and the Bride was fed narcotics, prior to the wedding taking place, to prevent the pain of losing her virginity, from being attributed to the husband, on their weding night, and hence prevent the Bride, from associating s*x and pain, as a result of lying with her husband....

There are many such forms of "sacrificial deflowerings", around the globe, some of which are seen to be as a result of preventing the marital bed being a source of pain to the woman, but it is not safe to assume that the manner in which we valued, as  a society, the virginal state of a Bride, as being the only, or even the virtuous one...

It all, depends on our society, as well as others, as to whether this status was virtuous...then, or even now....or even if it will ever be again....virginity is only a physical state of never having had s*x, and a mental state, only  when societies values intrude, or are placed upon an individual, but this mental state varies with the society being looked at, there is no "universal"; value placed on this state by humanity, although much ritual behaviour, is attached to it, often by the society in which an individual is living, and not just to the women in question, as many men, are ritually treated to adult cicumcision, prior to being allowed to take a mate, or as a sign of manhood, that permits them to participate in sexual behaviour, only after, this is sometimes publicly done, ( without tears, on a mans part, while a rusty spear is often the tool used to remove the skin), failure to withold the tears is significant in some tribes, and results in a warrior being disowned, by family or prospective females, resulting in ostracism, and a lonely life thereafter !!!

The classic example, that leads me to question its "virtue" is Princess Diana, certainly a virgin at marriage, and confirmed by herself, as one, she later was patently promiscuous, so is there any way that her virginity was a "virtue" ?, or could she have been described as virtuous as a result of retaining it ? answer that one yourself...but for me, the answer is a clear, and resounding, NO !................

Answer 4

Depends.

What people find hard to realize is that much of what we are taught about the world is actually false. This isn't just because the person doesn't know (which is very possible) but because they have been told something that allowed them to live their life without having to deal with a truth that could be beyond their ability to handle at the moment (s*x education in kindergarten, anyone? Nevermind, just call in the storks.)

Social mores are kinda like those training wheel truths. The society (adults, sometimes, and I use that term loosely) thinks that knowing the truth will create more problems than a lie or a construct, and so society creates 'play pens' that will hopefully keep most of the accidents from happening. The whole virginity/virtue concept came about twofold: making people (women, mostly) remain virginal until marriage made sure that they weren't stepping lightly into the commitment. The more you bounce in and out of relationships, especially when s*x is involved, the less likely you will see the need for a relationship in your life. If you have to get married to get the s*x from someone, and you really want them, then it forces you to make that choice.

Of course, virginity has just as many drawbacks as it does pluses. It was pretty much a double standard, which meant that women were taught to be virtuous while men werent, which is kinda like telling someone to dig a hole while telling someone else to fill it: running in circles. Also, the rigidity of applying virtue to virginity is that it places so much pressure on s*x that it can basically cripple a relationship. A relationship is alot  more than about s*x, but if all you're concentrated on is the s*x, you can easily ignore other aspects that you should be working on, which means the virtue you are saving yourself for (the marriage, in this case) is rotten from the beginning. s*x is a major indicator of a couple's happiness, but if no one is having s*x or waiting until its too late to back out before finding out, what do you expect the result to be but a ton of divorce and alot of complaining and fingerpointing.

What the virtue of virginity was supposed to be about wasn't the physical virginity but the emotional/personal one. Why are you holding back and not giving yourself to everyone you fancy, is there a deeper meaning behind it? Is it because, when you find someone special, what you want to give them is proof that you do think that they are special, that it was worth waiting for. If marriage is about bringing the best of yourself as a gift to the person you think is the best in the world, then denying your ability to be happy and sexual and satisfied with others can be considered a sacrifice, one made willingly and thus out of love.

But that kind of virginity can happen no matter how many times you've had s*x. Giving the best, the most intimate, the most personal, and the biggest issue of trust within oneself is never cheapened when shared with that special someone, no matter how many times previous you've might have done it. The virtue in virginity, whether real or emotional, is not in holding it back but in knowing when to let it go, knowing when the receiver is worthy of the gift. Its not whether you've slept with 99 or more people, its what you do when you've met that 100th person, whether or not you are aware enough to know that this person deserves more from you than the other 99. That is the gift, and that is the virtue.

Answer 5

It really depends on ur own perception. If u think it is then it is. Me personaly think it is. Cause it all about keeping ur most precious treasure that had been given by God (if u believe in God) and must be according by God's rule that u cant give it away before u're married eventhough its for one classic reason, which is in the name of LOVE?? (once u lost it, u cant get it back, and thats how precious it must be). The fact is, i realized it just now.

Answer 6

If the thoughtful intent of the person who has kept their virginity was to do so, then it speaks well of that person's character and I think it is a virtue.

My opinion is that if someone chooses their sexual behaviour in a thoughtful and caring manner to their own needs, they are being virtuous to themselves... regardless of their choice.

Peace

Answer 7

This is going to sound a little weird, but I don't think there IS such a thing as virginity.

Think about it - is there some kind of test you can do to tell if someone is a virgin or not? Certainly not for men. And if you know much about female anatomy, you'll realize that not every woman keeps an intact hymen through her youth (it can tear from physical activity) and not every women loses it from s*x (some even need it to be surgically cut away). Nor does there exist a sexually transmitted disease that might not be transmitted in a non-sexual way (though many of those ways aren't exactly desirable either).  So there is really no way to tell if someone is a virgin or not.

And then you get into the whole vaguarities of the issue. Does a person who loses their memory of ever having s*x re-gain their virginity? What about a person who gains new sexual organs that have never had s*x? If 'virginity' cannot be isolated in the mind or in the body, where is it?

I submit that it is nowhere. Because there is no such thing.

It is not hard to find groups of people who have a vested interest in causing people to believe that the quality of virginity exists. With this concept, they can control people's behaviour - make them feel guilty, or righteous, or obligated, or increase their participation in various rites and activities. They have woven together this myth (like that of the unicorn) and strengthened it to the point where few doubt its existence (unlike the unicorn).

What is virginity?  A type of control, at best.  Why would being a victim be a virtue to anyone but a slavedriver?

Answer 8

It is to me....My virginity is very important to me and I will be a virgin till my wedding night...my boyfriend is comfortable with my decision and has never pressured me....We will be getting married so for those young ladies that think its impossible and you have to sleep with them to make the relationship work your wrong...By sleeping with them your giving them nothing to look forward to

Answer 9

It isnt in a society that's focused so much on materialism, high standard of living, pursuit of fame and wealth, etc. So liberal is a First world society that more than 50 per cent of females are non-virgins by the time they marry. Still you can bet there are quite a fair amount of strong-willed and virtuous families and daughters who pride on virginity, numbering in millions.



A travelling or working stint in other Second and Third world countries will give surprising revelations of how other peoples value virginity. This is possible only with very close family unity, simplicity of living and non-influence of media. Virginity ensures safety from life-threatening sexual diseases and longevity. Many virtuous western males travel to the east to find a virgin mate, and at the same time benefit in the learning of another language and culture.

Answer 10

Probably not, but it certainly is an oddity.

Answer 11

If you see virginity as a sign of purity and the loss of it an indication of becoming damaged goods then no it hasn't.  To want to lose your virginity just to be the same as your friends is to show yourself a lack of self respect.  Value it neither too little nor too much.

Answer 12

WITH OUT A DOUBT.  

Answer 13

Yes Morpheus it always has been and it always will be despite what the current trends are.

It is a virtue that once thrown away can never be regained. It's best to keep it for the one who you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

However ... raging teenage hormones are quite contrary to that now aren't they?

Answer 14

No.  And it never was (morally).  Well, societally I suppose it used to be a virtue...for a long time, it was seen as a good quality for people to not have s*x until marriage in many societies.  So it depends: do you mean, societally, is it a virtue?  Or do you mean morally?  

Answer 15

I'd say it is.  Think of it as a rare quality.  So many people these days decide to do it when they're young.  It's like being unique by being a virgin.  I still am.

Answer 16

I don't think it should be.  There are so many more worthy characteristics for us to pursue.  Why is not doing it so great?  What about honesty, compassion, empathy, loyalty, and respect?  To me, those traits are even more rare and worthy of admiration than just suppressing one's sexual desires.