Is your husband helpful with your new baby

Question

My hubby is not as helpful as I thought he would be. He works full time and I am stay at home..this is our first baby and before she was born he would always say..."I just want to come home from work and spend time with my baby"..well that is not the case it is so hard to even get him to hold he while I eat..she is a fussy baby...but that should not matter. He thinks it is soo easy to stay at home and take care of a baby alone..I barley get to eat or go pee. Does anyone have this issue??

Answer 1

Aah, yes!   The helpful husband!!  Mine didn't help a lot or it didn't seem like it to me.  But I think husbands feel very inadequate around babies and don't want to admit it.  When the babies are older they tend to help more.  Believe me, I got SO tired of my husband acting like I had it made staying home with our fussy baby while he had to work!! Some days I would've gladly traded if I could have!  Hang in there!

Answer 2

If men had to be the Mama, there would be no children!  Yes, I definitely have had the same problem.  After discussing it many, many, many times with my husband I am now allowed to take a nap once a month if he happens to be home!  (Our baby is 9 months old.)

Pointedly ask him when you need help, hopefully he'll give it.

I think that most men are truly just lost with babies, but better with children.  I also think that most men are kind of lazy when it comes to helping out like that, they just feel that it's our job because we are Mom.

I could probably go on for pages about trying to get my not normally lazy hubby to help with the baby.  So if it helps, you aren't the only one, as I'm sure you'll find out.

Try talking to your husband about it.  It's very important that you take care of you too!

Answer 3

my boyfriend said all the same things, and while he is a great dad, there is always room for improvement. My man is physically unalble to wake at night to the baby crying, he just sleeps through it, and if i ask him to get up with her in the morning just 30 min earlier than usual, he gets mildly upset. at first he changed every other diaper, for like a week maybe, now its been months. sometimes he compleatly ignores her crying while i am busy, or says, "the babys crying". he also sometimes says he is jealous that i get to "stay home on the couch, watching tv and playing all day". i could slap him when he says that, because i do everything as a stay at home mom, and im sure you do also. i have heard that the dads get more involved as the children get older, and able to talk and use the potty, but im sure thats different in many cases.

Answer 4

Oh yes! I think A LOT of women have this issue with their husbands! My husband was the same way when our daughter was a newborn. I think he felt like there wasn't a whole lot to do since she just basically laid there. Now that she's 11 months and moves all over the place and is starting to talk, he LOVES coming home to play with her while I get stuff done. Some dad's are better when the babies are real young, and some are better when the kids get older. I am also a stay at home mom and my husband also thought I had the easiest job in the world...until i took a saturday to go shopping all day with my mom. He was in charge of the cooking, cleaning ,taking care of our daughter. He's never said another word about me having an easy job.  

Answer 5

My ex barely even acknowledge the babies and he agreed to have them.  He would ***** any time they made a noise and after a while he didn't even come home until after they were in bed for some time.  Good luck.

Answer 6

I feel your pain!!!  Mine is the same way!  My little one is now 4 1/2 months old and I can probably count on one hand the number of times that my husband actually got up with her at night.  I have to hand her to him so that I can do something.  He NEVER volunteers!!!  Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful father and our daughter loves him, but he could help much more.

Answer 7

I know exactly how you feel! My husband is always at work while I take care of our six week old baby and all I hear is how he wants to come hold her and take care of her, but when he gets home he just plays video games and stuff and I'm still left with her trying to get stuff done while I take care of her. He's not a bad guy or dad by any means, he does help on his days off and changes diapers when I tell him to, but it's still not as much as he says he wants to help.  

Answer 8

Well i think i know whats harder between going to work all day and earning money or sitting at home playing with the baby.

Answer 9

well were not married (yet-0 but he is off and hasn't been as helpful as I'd like...he also says that when he goes back 2 work it'll almost be all on me bc he'll be so tired and he says that staying home with a baby is a piece of cake...I guess it's easier than it looks.

Answer 10

I'm sure many women can relate to what you're dealing with which is just not right! My daughter is 3 months old and my fiance is just starting to come around. When she was first born, he made me feel like just because he worked full time- I should be taking care of our daughter, doing laundry, cleaning and cooking...all with a smile on my face. We spend many nights apart because I felt like he was being completely selfish. As time went on, and as Ava got bigger he began to really bond with her. He now helps me A LOT more and we are beginning to have the relationship we had before the baby. I spoke to my Mother in law about this and she said a lot of men feel like they can't do as good of a job as the mother. I'm sure as your baby grows u- he will come along.

Another thing that may help- which helped me- was I left for an entire Saturday and he was alone with Ava. When I came back- he finally admitted "I can't believe you can actually have time to do things around the house AND take care of a baby." You have to PHYSICALLY put him in your shoes.

Good luck! Smarten him up!  

Answer 11

guys just don't know what to do with little babies. leave him by himself with the baby for a whole day while you shop and tell him you need laundry done, the baby needs a bath, the house needs vacuuming and the beds gotta be made...etc.  Make sure he has no help for the day and let him see how hard it is.  it's sink or swim, make him do it.

Answer 12

He was very helpful when she was a newborn.  One of us was always doing something because we were both working.  One did not sit and relax until the other one was able too.  When Emma was six months old I got to start staying home.  Of course he does not do as much now and we agree if she has a restless night, I get up b/c I can take a nap.  If I want a bath or something he will of course watch her.  He also knows he will have to start doing more once this baby arrives.  At least until I get into the swing of things.

Answer 13

I had this problem with my husband after I had my baby. So I got dressed one day and went out to shop for a while without the baby and left it with my husband.  When I got back he had put on one of my shirts and was holding the baby. He said he couldn't get him to quit crying until he wore my shirt! LOL! Sometimes husbands think all they have to do is go to work and bring in the money.. especially when we are a stay at home mom.  Let him see how hard it is to take care of things at home!!