Isn't it time we got rid of the line "love, honor and obey" in weddings?

Question

or at least have the guy be the one that says it.

Answer 1

Yes

Answer 2

Already happened... even traditional wedding ceremonies use "love, honour and cherish" now. I'd like to write my own wedding vows anyway, because it seems more personal. You can say anything you like. :)

Answer 3

Or weddings entirely? They're such a farce.

Answer 4

It's not a very good vow to say "obey".  That sounds like dog obedience school.  True covenants of love are about cherishing and mutual respect for each other as humans, not about master/slave or owner/pet type animal husbandry "arrangements".  Maybe some people should just get a dog.

Answer 5

I don't think you should get so hyped up about a simple 4 letter word, nor society in general.  Sounds like a bunch of lemmings if you ask.  One lemming plummets into the deep blue they all do; think variety, think not like anyone else and who cares?

Answer 6

I can't remember the last wedding I was at that they used

obey in. That is so outdated it is a joke!!

Answer 7

Tracey is right you can put whatever you want in your vows and leave out what you don't want... My husband and I both decided (yes both) that we did not like the obey thing... So we left it out. We would rather discuss issues and come to an agreement or a compromise then have one obey the other.

Answer 8

Some people do opt for the traditional vows - especially in very conservative churches.  Or maybe they lack the imagination and/or desire to write their own.

Answer 9

Ya know no matter what kind of marriage you have the legal part is still done at the court house....and right before the ceremony bride and groom sign the papers(at that point legally they are married).

the "vows" can be anything you want from the traditional thing to...a duet of I got you...legally it doesn't matter.

Answer 10

Couples can write their own vows. If you get married, nobody has to say "obey."

Answer 11

We already have.

Answer 12

In my humble opinion it's time we took Ephesians and Corinthians seriously again.  We've decided that the Bible is outdated.  It'll be interesting to see how disregarding a plan Spirit inspired truth lays out as God's plan will work out for us.  Is God outdated now?  Have we outsmarted him, and found a better plan for society--a new world order?  Some definitely argue so.  We'll see how it plays out.

Answer 13

People can put whatever they want into their vows. It's not a legal part of the ceremony. You can vow to l**k, spank and decorate your partner with glitter if you want.

Answer 14

It's out unless the couple requests it, God only knows why.

Now if we can just get rid of that "man and wife" stupidity and just pronounce the couple "married."  At my ceremony, the priest forgot and said the wrong thing.  I stopped it right there and said "WHAT??"  He repeated it correctly and apologized.  I remind him of that whenever he comes to our house.

Answer 15

That line has been optional for a long time.  The standard Church of england service nowadays omitts it, though you can use the traditional wording if you wish.  I imagine it is the same in American churches.

Personally I think the traditional wedding service has a lot more dignity to it than the embarrassing sludge that people come out with nowadays when they write their own vows, a deplorable custom in my opinion.

Answer 16

Uh, where have YOU been these last several decades?

Very few wedding include 'obey' -- people have been editing that out for quite some time now.

Answer 17

Any traditional wedding I've ever been to said "love, honor and cherish" instead of obey. I didn't think anyone still said obey.

Answer 18

Most people I know leave out the word obey in their wedding vows because they consider it out dated.

Answer 19

That was taken out 30 years ago.

Where ya been?

Answer 20

Really it is one word out of your whole marriage. I couldn't care less if they say it or not. Its one word.

Actions speak for a marriage not P/C vows or overly sensitive whining/. If you are hung up on Obey maybe you should consider not getting married, you are to selfish, insecure or at the least take the little **** to seriously.