Isn't the idea that SELFISHNESS is a bad thing an example of HYPOCRISY?

Question

Why is it that when a person says "Sorry, I can't help you out, I'm thinking about whats best for my friend". People say "aaawww.. thats so sweet!"

BUT.. If a person says: "Sorry, I can't help you out, I'm thinking about whats best for myself". Then suddenly the person is a selfish jerk.

How does that make sense? Is that implying that we should all view others as more important? Its bad to think about yourself (who is a person) but not to think about your friend (who is a person).

Please clear up this hypocrisy....

Answer 1

what in the sam blue hoot hollerin' hades are you talking about.

Answer 2

First we come; when we put ourselves first we are better able to take care of others. It's like with that oxygen mask scenario; the mother can't take care of her young when she's fighting for breath herself. That makes no sense. That's how I look at it.

Answer 3

It all surrounds intent... Mike, you really have a way of complicating the simple.

Answer 4

advice: Accept reality and move on. Being selfish is okay. People live for themselves...even if they live for another they're being selfish. Why? They would simply be more satisfied by living for another.

- People, by nature, are selfish.

- All actions are selfish. Selfishness or self-interest does not connote a negative action.

- Altruism is another form of selfishness.

"As Hobbes acknowledged, this account of human nature emphasizes our animal nature, leaving each of us to live independently of everyone else, acting only in his or her own self-interest, without regard for others. This produces what he called the 'state of war,' a way of life that is certain to prove 'solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.' (Leviathan I 13) The only escape is by entering into contracts with each other—mutually beneficial agreements to surrender our individual interests in order to achieve the advantages of security that only a social existence can provide. (Leviathan I 14)"

Answer 5

It's not bad to think about yourself(in moderation of course) but we hold people who are willing to put their lives, the emotions, their thoughts, etc. aside and help someone else out. SelfLESSness is considered a good quality to have. This is why many people believe true heroes are soliders, firefighters, cops, etc. Those are the people who put others before themselves.

Answer 6

An extension of your idea, quite reasonably, is First Aid:  check the area for danger first: it does no good to become the next victim.

Being heroic and rescuing a baby from burning car is all very well, but what if you get injured or killed: will that help your family?

Answer 7

In the first example, you are weighing the needs of two people, and you decide that one person needs your help more.

In the second example, you are not really considering the other person's need, you are just refusing to give up anything of your own.  

There's a difference between self-preservation and selfishness.  It's fine to say "I can't help you; I don't have enough to be able to share it."  You can and should look after your own needs first, because causes yourself harm to help another still leaves the world with one person in need of help (except now it's you instead of them).  

However, it becomes selfishness when helping them wouldn't cause any harm to you.  If you can help them, but choose not to, then that is selfish.  

The person you are refusing aid to might be upset with you, and call you selfish, but that doesn't mean you *are* selfish.